Parental Duties & Other Crap

BigBrother(13) and I did his FFA banquet thing and it went well. He didn't want to go because he knew that he was getting some awards and didn't want to walk on stage in front of people. He got 3 awards and I only embarrassed him twice by shoving up to the stage to take his picture. I let him get by without on the third time.

LittleBrother(11)'s baseball team won their last game and are at a pizza place celebrating as I speak type. Sweety is the assistant coach but the regular coach had to miss this game so he was in charge. The game was tied and in an overtime inning and LB was on third base. Sweety didn't realize it was LB (who is a pretty fast runner) on third base and pulled him off the base and put another fast kid on there to run to home plate when the chance came up. As LB was walking across the field, Sweety realized that he'd just yanked his own kid out of the game and feels like shit about it. (um, nevermind the fact that he was so frazzled that he couldn't look with his own two eyes and see what child was on third before he took him off. ahem.) The kid that he replaced LB with did make it to home and that was the run that won the game. I told Sweety to tell LB to remember that if he hadn't made it to third that the other kid wouldn't have had the opportunity to make the run.

I have found the.best.lipstuff.ever. I've been putting LipFusion XL on at night and then in the morning some Stila Cherry Crush Lip & Cheek Stain. It takes just a tiny bit to give your lips a nice reddish tint. Like you've been sucking dick for 2 hours but without the work. I put that stuff on and let it dry and then dab a little Make Up For Ever Super Lip Gloss (clear) on top and voila! My lips look nice all day long! I've always had the hardest time finding lipstick and this really floats my boat. I have also never, ever, ever in my life spent that much money on lipstuff but it's so worth it.

You know how followers of The Unification Church are sometimes called Moonies? When I was a kid, I knew that their leader was Korean. All of the Koreans I knew had really round heads. Like moons. That's why I thought those people were called Moonies. I thought it was some kind of racial slur. The kids at school called me "slant eye" and I always thought I'd rather be called a Moonie but that they didn't do that because my head wasn't round enough since I was only half Korean.


t~ said...

roflol! nevermind the fact that the sephora product actually sounds pretty cool in and of itself... the whole description of "like you've been sucking dick for 2 hours but without the work" is absolutely golden! i'm gonna have to order myself a couple of them! ;-)

t~ said...

oops... i meant stila product... doi!

Pusher Robot said...

At least pulling his own kid was an accident. How do you think it feels when you have to do it intentionally. The year I was a head coach for my girls (13 & 11) they were both pitchers. If one of them was struggling, I'd have to pull one of my own daughters to replace her with the other daughter. That was NEVER fun!

Amy said...

Ooooo, that lip stuff sounds good.

Wait... YOU can suck dick for 2 hours? Really?!?!?

You're going to have to email me some tips. Wait... that did not come out right at all!

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Again. You are the best stepmom evah!

bekah said...

I discovered Lip Fusion a couple weeks ago when I was dinking around a Sephora and HOLY CRAP I am in love. I normally don't like lip plumpers, but the Lip Fusion stuff is just so... warming and nice. It's also a kick ass color for me, if I do say so myself.

Anonymous said...

Its worse when its the other way around and you do something with one of your own kids because they are a better player.

BTW: I was always harder on my own kids when I coached them. They are both good athletes so I had a tendency to push them more than some of the other kids.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

That lip stuff sound wonderful...I will have to check all tbose goodies out! My lips use to be nice and full...Now thatI am "older"...(Notice I won't say "old") my lips are all thinned out. It stinks! Sweety must really be feeling lousy about pulling his son out of the game.....
I love your colorful descriptions Chickie....TWO HOURS???? I'm exhausted just thinking about that! (lol)

Sara Sue said...

I agree with Lynn, the BEST step-mom EVAh! And I'm going out on a limb here but I'm going to give you the best blow job giver EVAH award too! TWO HOURS??? Damn baby ... Sweetie is a lucky man!

Michael said...

I had a baseball story but I can't think of anything else but "2 hours" now. Seriously? 2 hours??



The Phosgene Kid said...

Tell the boy to forget baseball and find honest work. You missed your chance to stand on your chair hand holler every time BB got up on stage to get his award. We only get so many chances to scar our kids, don't let them slip away.

Mike said...

I've said it many many times. Sweetie is the luckiest man ever. Or should I say EVAH!

Chickie said...

t~ - The lip stuff is fantastic! I think I'm addicted to the plumping stuff. I get up in the middle of the night to reapply it.

Pusher Robot - Sweety hates when he has to step in and coach. LB gets a lot more bench time because parents say that Sweety shows favoritism. But the same parents don't bitch when the regular coach is there and LB plays the whole game.

Amy - My tip - you have to love what you do!

here today, gone tomorrow - Heh, thanks!

Bekah - I don't use the colored stuff. I use the super duper stuff that you apply at night. I did try some of the colored glosses in Sephora this weekend and am fighting to urge to spend more money on face stuff.

Midwestern City Boy - LB is one of the best players on his team (and I'm not saying that because I'm prejudiced) and Sweety is harder on him than on other kids. When Sweety told the first baseman (who is the regular coach's kid) to do something the other night, he told Sweety to shut up. WTF? I wouldn't have dreamed of saying something like that to a coach when I was a kid.

Lady of the Hills - For real, try the Lip Fusion XL. I've been using it for about a week now at bedtime and can tell they look different. As for the 2 hours, well, sometimes I get bored with whatever Sweety is watching on t.v. and that amuses me.

Sara Sue - It's the whole oral fixation thing. I like having something in my mouth. Sweety is so glad that I was a thumbsucker.

Michael - It doesn't happen all of the time but when it does, it's a lot of fun. :)

The Phosgene Kid - I won't let anymore scarring chances get away. I was the only parent the rushed to the stage to get a good photo and I know that BB really appreciated that! *insert evil grin here*

Mike - I have to be super nice to him sometimes to balance out the crazy that comes with it.

Monogram Queen said...

Girl you have got the parenting thing down PAT! I swear. You know the right things to say! Congrats to BB & LB on their accomplishments!

You kill me with the lip thing... sucking dick for two hours but without the work. Well that's what I want MY lips to look like for sure.

I hate racial slurs. Ugh. I never even knew about the Moonies.

Chickie said...

Monogram Queen - For every good thing I say, there are at least 2 things that leave my lips that shouldn't. I'm getting better though.

See, you can put that stuff on your lips and tell the husband that you did just suck his for two hours but he just doesn't remember.

I think I heard every slur you could direct at an Asian kid when I was growing up. There was a kid in my class that I physically fought with at least once a year until we were in the 10th grade. I knocked the fucking beans out of him with my science book that year.