Bah Humbug

Here I am. At home. With the stinking dogs. Not at the bowling alley, drinking tequila from plastic cups. Why? Because it was too hard for the coaEW to have the boys tonight because LittleBrother(11) had a baseball game and she didn't want to go to it. So the boys are here tonight and I had to come right home after work so Sweety could go to work. We don't like to leave them home alone at night. Fucking fooey. Yeah, I know I spelled it wrong.

I am so.very.tired. I don't know why, but I haven't had solid night's sleep since at least last Saturday. (That's as far back as I can remember.) Usually, it takes me awhile to go to sleep but when I do, I don't wake up til the alarm goes off. It's been like I can't get comfortable and toss and turn all damn night.

Dear Tiny Dog,
Thank you for taking this time to perch on my arm with your sticky asshole on my elbow!

I should put one of those round band-aids on her anus when she's in the house. Or maybe tape a dime over it. Keep me sanitary.

Some people make me want to puke. Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone being nasty-nice? It's my turn in that seat and I'm tired of it. Or maybe I'm a pessimistic bitch and I'm misreading someone. But I don't think so. I'm pretty sure that she's a shark.

On a lighter note...

Have you ever been over to Speck's place? You should check it out. She has been cranking out some very interesting cartoons. I like 'em.


Kat said...

Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone being nasty-nice?

Yes! They look right at you with a huge smile on their face, but they are calling you an asshole in their mind right?!

I know several women who are sharks like this. Just god awful fucking bitches who are nasty-nice but I know what's going on, I know what they are really thinking, and I know they are complete and utter fucking douchebags....LOL

moooooog35 said...

So...let me get this straight:

People make you want to puke.

But a dog's "sticky asshole" on your arm only warrants a band-aid.

Good to know.

Monogram Queen said...

Me and assholes of any type except my own (and even i'm iffy about my own) do NOT get along. Don't want to touch or be touched by one really LOL

If you are getting those vibes from this person it is probably true. Listen to that spidey sense girl!

Joey Polanski said...

Hey, Tiny Dog! Dont let Mama abuse you!

Refuse th dime! Hold out fer a silvr dollr. This is 2008, fer cripes sake!

Mike said...

I never thought about putting a bandaid over my dog's asshole for special occasions, but it makes perfect sense.

Thank you Chickie for that helpful household hint.

Cissy Strutt said...

You know that you can't spell 'calm' without 'clam', don't you?

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Can't. Stop. Laughing. At the image of Tiny Dog with a dime taped over her anus. And the ensuing hysteria on her part.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL...Oh, I LOVE You Chickie! The picture of you putting a dime over Tiny's a-hole is truly hilarious! I LOVE the way your mind works, my dear, I truly do. Thanks for the BEST Laugh I've had all day!

Sara Sue said...

I'm rolling right along with everyone else! The idea of a "dimed anus" is just hysterical!

The Phosgene Kid said...

Wrong perspective - keep your arm off her anus...

Thomas said...

Maybe you could get some "stinky dog ass in a jar" and send it to COAEW for Christmas.


Anonymous said...

Sweety owes you for letting coaEW be so disruptive. He's a very good egg but you are two.

BTW: you are much too nice to your dogs.

Chickie said...

Kat - I'm dealing with one of those at work now. I'll be glad when she turns her attention elsewhere.

moooooog35 - I feel that my priorities are in line!

Monogram Queen - Mental note to self: Don't rub my butt on The Monogram Queen. Check.

Joey Polanski - The dimes are easier for her to hide once she gets them off. She actually prefers them over the dollars because I won't let her spend the money anyway.

Mike - And if you wanna go all out - use a bandaid that has a pretty pattern printed on it. I'm actually thinking of putting a rhinestone studded one on Tiny's butt. Would that be abuse?

Cissy - How true! That must have something to do with choosing that animal as nighttime alter-ego.

here today, gone tomorrow, Lady of the Hills & Sara Sue - You all have no idea how tempted I am to do it and post a picture. But I'm afraid someone would turn me in for cruelty.

The Phosgene Kid - She sneaks in on me. I think that she's going to settle in my lap but then she whips around like lightening and puts her butt on my arm. I feel it's done on purpose.

TV - That is a fine idea!

Midwestern City Boy - He knows it. That's why I get by with so much.

I can't help it. They are my babies!