Magical Thinking at Work

Tuesday night before bed Sweety and I were talking about the situation over there and some of the things the boys have said. They (whoever "they" are) were giving their stepdad 3 to 5 years to live with chemo. I made the comment "If he's gonna die I just wish it would happen quickly and be done so everyone can move on instead of waiting for it and dragging it out and getting these nutball phone calls from her."

Find out on Wednesday morning that the stepdad fell the night before and hit his head so hard on the tub that it cracked the tub. He was brain dead and the plug was pulled yesterday.

I feel so bad for the trauma that I know the boys are gonna go thru when they find out and how their life will change at their Mom's.

I figure it's only a matter of time before she starts complaining about not having any money and that my husband is lucky that he doesn't pay child support. These things were brought up right after we married and I have a feeling that they'll be coming back.

For the record, Sweety has physical custody of the boys and she's supposed to pay him child support. In the divorce she said she'd wanted a lump sum of money and a car and he could have the boys. She was supposed to take the money and put a down payment on a house but of course that did not happen. She told hime once that he just didn't understand how hard it was for her because they (her and husband 2) only have one income and so many kids. Helloooooo! I don't work because I like it, I do it so things can be bought. If one is going to make the decision to crank out 4 kids whilst having no education, no job and no permanent place to live that is one's own problem, not mine. The reason we haven't had kids is because it's nice to be able to go out every now and then and sleep in when they aren't here. She's also asked what my problem is and what kind of woman am I that I'd rather raise her kids than have some of my own. After she found out we were getting married she made the comment that she was going to start being more of a mother figure to the boys now because I wasn't going to do that. Sweety said before I got here she hardly ever saw them. Or it would be her day to have them and then after a couple of hours she'd drop him off while he was working and say that she just couldn't parent that day.

Sweety asked me if I felt sorry for her because of the whole situation. Yeah sure. My heart is really bleeding for the bint who's made comments about my non-breeding habits, about my niece living with me, asked "what are they anyway?" after meeting my sister and niece because we didn't look "white" (1/2 korean here for the record), left a message letting me know that my salary was going to be used when she decided to take the boys and get child support when she "redid" the divorce, and my favorite was when she had LB who was 4 at the time leave a message crying on his Dad's cell phone "Daddy? Are you dead? Did your plane crash?" This is when he flew over to help me move to Florida. I think a parent's job is to comfort your child not egg on traumatization.

Eek. Enough on that.

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