Attn: Fake Tanners and Self Waxers!

Oh goody. I am so pleased. I just woke up from a nap and am a nice mildly toasty shade of brown. Not too extreme. I may have Sweety spraypaint me again tonight.

I used Neutrogena Micro Tanning Mist, Medium and it seems to have worked. I'm not blotchy and I'm not orange. I can now throw away all the other self tanners I have been hoarding after using them once. (cause you know someone may come by begging for crappy self tanners someday) Last night I exfoliated using a steel wool pad and Neutrogena Pre Sunless Scrub. I could've probably done without the special scrubby soap so I probably won't get any more of that. But it did smell nice and citrusy.

And I just yanked off some stray eyebrow hair and my very dainty upper lip hair using Nads Facial Wand. I'd seen infomercials for it and thought it had to be a bunch of crap. But it was on sale last night and I'm getting wooly so I bought it. Now I can also throw away all the barely used hair removal kits that have been keeping the sunless tanners company. I may go get a big tub of the stuff and yank off everything on Sweety's back. I love doing that. He thinks that I'm laughing til I cry because of his painful, pillow muffled screams but really I'm just so delighted with the process I must cackle with glee.

I used Veet last night on my legs and they still feel smooth. You smear the cream stuff all over your legs and then scrape it off with a razor looking contraption that doesn't have a blade and it drags out the hair. I kinda pressed too hard in my eagerness to get fuzz free legs and had a lot of little red lines running up and down my legs after I got out of the shower but they are gone now. And I don't have any stinkin' razor burn bumps.

I am so pleased. I hate buying shit that doesn't work. In a couple of hours I will emerge from the house tan and smooth. Instead of looking like a hairy, albino mole rat.