Thank you, oh mighty little league baseball gods, for bestowing a tie upon us. We didn't get stomped as I had predicted. It was a tie instead. I was sooooooo effing relieved. The tension in the car if a ballgame is lost can be cut with a knife. BB(10) really sulks up if they don't do good. LB(8) takes it just a wee bit better.
There was one lady in the stands whom I wanted to mute. She'd find out the name of whatever kid was out there and then shout directions. In a really whiny sort of voice. Instead of saying "concentrate on the ball", she'd say "connnnn-sinnnnn-traaaait on the BALL!" When she wasn't screaming from the stands like some kind of baseball guru with tourette's syndrome, she was busy evaluating the game while she smoked from beside the fence. Next ballgame I may wear my earplugs and just watch it without hearing all the extra noise.
While we were there I started feeling a little green around the gills and disappeared into the bathroom a couple of times. The EW came and asked me if I was sick because she'd noticed me being gone. (and in my head i'm thinking 'gee, i never personally expressed my condolences to you when your husband died.) I told her I wasn't feeling too hot and thanked her for her concern. Maybe if I could get past what a total cunt she was to me when I moved down here, we could be good buddies. (I know if Sweety reads this he will probably choke on his tongue) I must be getting soft in my old age. Or maybe I'm just feeling nice while I'm on the downhill slope of PMS.
The boys are getting to stay up a little late tonight. As a trade off I don't have to tell them a story or read to them.
You know that little piece of skin that attaches your bottom lip to your gum? I ripped mine the other night. I got really involved in some oral activity and damn near dislocated my jaw. Every now and then I try to really shine in the bedroom so he doesn't start wondering why he keeps me.
Oh goody! The sprogs are going to bed! Time for tequila and popcorn and t.v.!
5 comments:
Tequila and popcorn and t.v., OH MY!
This reminded me of an episode of The Sopranos where Janice beat the crap out of the other mom at her stepkids' little league game.
I'd say it's just a game but I don't like to lose at softball and we play in a co-ed league. I get just as pumped up as when I used to play on a more competitive men's softball team. I think that is just the nature of sports competitions.
I'm sure that you could do without the loudmouth woman. She's cheering but it's almost like she's heckling.
OMG, I just laughed so hard, Dr. Pepper came out my nose...and that doesn't feel to great. Anne Arkham's comment hits me so close to home. My 6 yr old is into soccer, and during the Spring season we had this parent, similar to the one you spoke of...thought she was 'super coach' and could do better than the one for the kid's. At every game she criticized every kid's action, but hers could do no wrong....well, one day she began on my M, and when it comes to my kids, and messing with them...I'm turn from Soccer Mom to Mama Bear. I kept my cool, but when M finally heard her and I saw the look on her face, that was it. I went up to her and said, loudly, "If you don't shut your pie hole up and lay off MY kid, I will personally do a whoop ass on you worse than the Little League episode of The Sopranos!!!" I got a standing ovation from the other parents, she stayed in her car after that!
bekah - Scratch the tequila. It was a vodka night. I still feel crummy.
anne arkham - I was holding onto the bottom of the bench so I wouldn't turn around and try to kill her with the evil eye.
mcb - I just kind of felt like if she wants to coach then she should volunteer to do it. Then she could stand on the field and holler all she wanted.
txsm - That is such a funny story! I was waiting for her to start giving directions to mine before throwing any peanuts at her. I'm glad she kept her piehole shut when mine was pitching and batting.
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