I've decided that Tiny dog is a klepto. First she gets caught eating my damn soup, then she moves on to stealing pacifiers from innocent babies. (See that little fat foot? It belongs to the cutest boy child ever. That's his equally cute ass sister looking at Tiny dog steal.) She took the pacifier straight to her hidey hole for safekeeping. (Notice her shiny collar and her new necklace. She's pimped out. I must be weird as shit. Making my dog jewelry.) I think she needs some kind of professional help to stop stealing. I'm not gonna worry about it unless I catch her robbing a liquor store or something.
I love watching other people's kids. For about an hour after they left I was thinking "gee, if I had one it would still be running around being cute and playing". But after I took a shower and got into bed I decided it was nice to only have to worry about not crushing Tiny dog in my sleep and not about keeping a tit ready for a baby to latch on to.