I figured out why I feel such violence towards poultry.
When I was three or four I was at my grandparent's house one day when they were killing chickens. Grandpa would wring their necks and then put them under a big bucket til they quit kicking. I was minding my own business, playing in the dirt, when suddenly a headless chicken came running right towards me. I will never forget how it's nasty little neck stump glistened in the sun. I quickly ran up the nearest woodpile.
I think this has led to my problem with birds. I'm transferring my animosity towards chickens to their other bird brethren. I'd like to kick a pigeon or break a crane's knees but I have no desire to be near a chicken. They are just too freaky.
It is so much fun to feed ducks. It's really neat to toss the bread on the backs of the ducks and then watch them beat the snot out of each other for the food.
I better go get some rest so I can punt toadstools properly.