12/16/05

TGI effing F!

I am so pleased that this day is over! Agh. I was hanging onto my seat at work by my fingernails.

Oh man, I have found my Christmas present: palmOne Treo 650. I will name him Philip. Sweety keeps asking me what I want and I was telling him "nothing" but he kept on asking so this type of thing is the only idea that I'm giving him. Or a laptop. A laptop would be nice. I could sit in the parking lot at work on my lunch break and look at porn. But I'm pretty sure I'd come all over myself if I got a sleek little Philip. Do you hear that Sweety? I'd probably come all over you too. While caressing the internet surfing, picture taking, music playing phone of course... Heh, I got a tiny erection just thinking about it.

Tiny dog is being a real pain in the ass. The last 2 nights she's been wandering around making a noise like a strangling kitten. I think she's hallucinating. And she stinks like Stinky dog's armpit. They both need baths in the worst way. I may do that tomorrow. But on second sniff, I kind of like her stinkiness in a sick sort of way.

I am such a crackhead. Sweety and I went to the petstore to buy dogfood the other day and I realized that in January, Tiny dog Oy will be one year old and won't need puppy food then but dog food. And that made me sad. My eyes may have even welled up a bit as I put my small sack of puppy food in the basket along with the bigger sack of dog food that she'll be eating later. How nutty is that? And she's getting little white eyebrows. My baby is growing up.

Last night when I was laying in that big ass bed all by myself all I could keep thinking was "what if something (something gargoylish) comes in to get me?" I finally put my earplugs in and had an internal conversation with myself where I decided if a monster was going to come slinking out of the closet for me it would be better to have some good sleep before being eaten alive.

I shall go retire now.

8 comments:

anne arkham said...

Closet monsters are the worst. They're much bigger than the ones under the bed.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Lol, LOL, LOL! I never heard that Stinky Armpit on a Dog before...Is there Deoderant for Dogs?? Do they really need it??

I think you Christmas present "need" is fabulous! What doesn't it do? Hope Sweety gets one for you, Chickie.

Chickie said...

Anne Arkham - And the closet monsters can stand upright (and wield things like knives or hatchets) whereas the under the bed monsters only slink around and nab you if you have a part dangling off the bed.

OOLOTH - I've thought about shaving Stinky dog and coating her in underarm deodorant but her skin is so sensitive I'm afraid she'd get blisters. Maybe I could do a patch test on her somewhere.

I thought I wanted a Blackberry but I saw that this thing takes pictures! Not like I take a lot of pictures but I might if my camera would let me.

Lisa said...

That PalmOne thing sure is gorgeous. I can see why you would get so worked up over that.

Also, I love how you reason with yourself. I should try that logic next time I'm lying awake :)

Chickie said...

Lisa - I also use what Sweety calls "Chickie-math". Where if I save money on one item then that means I have that much more to blow somewhere else.

Midwestern City Boy said...

I just ordered us (California Girl and I) new phones for Christmas. There nice cell phones but they don't do half the things the Treo 650 you want does. I hope you get it; that way I can enjoy it vicariously through you. I'm a gadget guy but I can't talk myself into a super-phone.

Startingnew said...

mmmm nice :-) make sure you get the unlimited data transfer option from your cell carrier!!!

Chickie said...

MCB - I just think it would be neat to have something to play with at work!

Startingnew - I will keep that in mind. Actually, I'm gonna go look up "unlimited data transfer" right now and see what that is.