I'd rather stick a needle in my bad eye than go to work today. Argh. It's kind of rainy and dark today. The perfect elements for sleeping in with two dogs. Maybe I'll get lucky and start vomiting uncontrollably all over the place at work and I'll get sent home. Too bad I don't have any syrup of ipecac.

Last night Sweety was home later than usual from bowling. He stayed afterwards to eat and drink beer. This really doesn't bother me but I guess he gave himself the guilties on the way home thinking about how he would feel if I was out having a good time without him. I really don't mind if he's out late on Thursdays. It gives me time to come home and be alone (dink on the computer!) for a couple of hours. If he were to announce on one of my days off, while we're sitting on the couch or something, that he was going to leave and go to the bar with his buddies I'd probably be pissed.

This reminds me of something that happened with my exhusband. He'd get falling down drunk when he'd go out and then call me to come get him. One night I was supremely pissed off and as soon as he got in the car he passed out. It was summertime in Texas but on the ride home I turned the heater on all the way and I spent 15 minutes in the driveway gassing my truck so it would go fast and then slamming on the brakes to watch him crash into the dashboard. I left the heater on for a few more minutes and then parked under the outside light and rolled the windows down a bit so the mosquitos could eat him. I suppose my marriage was pretty full of loathing at that point.

Well shit, I have to go.


Bekah said...

I've determined that there is a part of you that is pure, unadulterated evil. I am proud to say that you're my friend.

Dirk the Feeble said...

That's like the meanest thing ever, and so hilarious at the same time.

MollyNormal said...

Your ex deserved it. He reminds me of my own piece of shit ex, who once rammed his truck into the back of my Jeep in a drunken tirade. Pig!

Queen Of Pink said...

I am a little on the sadistic side too. Once I picked up Shrek from his friends house (many years ago) and purposefully gassed it right before all the red lights, so I could slam on the brakes. Good times.

Sorry you have to go to work. Hopefully it passes quickly for you!

KyuBall said...

That's some funny shit.

Adapt and overcome...then drink like of fish, it's FRIDAY!!!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL, LOL...You are too funny, Chickie! So, was your ex eaten by those mosquito's?
I hope you can get out of work without too much vomiting!

Ryann said...


some things are so deserved

Chickie said...

Bekah - Awwww, that's one of the nicest things I've ever heard about myself!

Armaedes - That is not the meanest thing ever. Just the meanest thing that I can share with the internet.

Mollynormal - Whoa, that would be worse in my book! Luckily mine just passed out or became deadweight when drinking.

QoP - I bet you snickered a little bit on the inside when you saw the red lights coming up.

Kyuball - I am sooo glad today is over!

OOLOTH - They chewed his ass up - all over his neck and face. It was great to watch him scratch.

Unfortunately, my wishes of spontaneous vomiting didn't occur so I had to stick it out for my whole shift.

Ryann Rain - I think by the time I was done with him, he got all he deserved.

Midwestern City Boy said...

Remind me NEVER to get on your bad side.

Sorry that you had to work your entire shift. You need to live in Ohio where we have snow days on occasion. Last Christmas we had so much snow that all of the local businesses were closed. And we still got paid even though we didn't have to work.

layman said...

Chickie, I agree with MidWest, I don't want to be on your bad side, but shit, I just infected you with the meme virus, hehe, ;O)

Sasha said...

chickie, girl, i'd do the very same thing if i were on your shoes. i mean, getting drunk but not being able to get himself home??? suckfest.

Chickie said...

MCB - My stories about my past life help keep Sweety in line.

I'd love to be in Ohio right now! I was talking to someone last night and they said they'd gotten 8 inches of snow. I miss snow. Snow days off would be su much better than hurricane days off!

Layman - Oh fuck. A meme... I hope it's not too hard! :)

Sasha - I did it for 5 stinking years before I bailed on him. This is why people shouldn't get married when they are 18.