Oh motherfuck! Some effing asshole threw a motherfucking ROCK at ME in my own car while I was driving home today! It was dark and I was zipping along, on the phone with my Mom, and suddenly something whacked the windshield right in front of my face. The sound was loud enough I felt my eardrums shake. Broke the fucking windshield of course. Cocksucker. I hope the fucker that did it dies a horrible, fiery death. I am not kidding. It could have knocked a hole in my pretty little head. Agh, bastard.
And then I walk through the door and see this shit:
In case you need an explanation, that's Tiny dog fucking EATING Stinky's bed. I wrap it in a trash bag in case Tiny feels like taking a piss on it and she worked the cover off and chewed through the damn bag and started in on the foam rubber. Ungrateful whore.
I need to go calm the eff down before I stroke out.