Stinky & Tiny Dog,
Since you were home alone today while I was at work, I now know it is possible for you to hold your bladders for at least 12.5 hours. No more of this getting up in the middle of the night for a piss, okay?
Love,
Mama
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To the Gargoyles/Monsters prancing on the roof:
Please stop. You're making me go crazy and it's not a long trip.
Signed most humbly yours,
The naked chick cowering under the bedspread
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Sweety,
I hope small children are poking your nostrils while you try to sleep.
I hope you have fun.
I hope your plane doesn't crash.
Love,
Chickie
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Dear Tiny Green Grass Plugs,
Please don't die while Sweety is gone and you are under my care! I know I only watered you once today instead of twice, but I promise to water you extra tomorrow to make up for it.
Sincerely,
Not a Green Thumb
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Blogger,
It would be nice if you wouldn't eat my posts.
Have I done something to anger you?
Chickie
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Dear Internet,
Sweety is gone this weekend to a bowling tournament in Texas. I thought I was looking forward to being home alone but I was mistaken. I spoke to him earlier and I guess he's sharing a room with our friends kids; A mean part of me hopes that the kids talk a lot in their sleep or sleepwalk. That would be a nice payback for Sweety's snoring self.
I will tell you a secret:
When I'm home alone, I drink right out of the containers.
9 comments:
Chickie, I used to tell my mom we could cut down on dishwashing if instead of using glasses we just put bottles of water in the fridge with each of our names on it. We could also have saved even more if we all ate from a long bowl. The first one she was not too keen about and she absolutely detested the idea of eating from a trough. Parents, what do they know?
When I'm home alone, I drink out of containers, don't make my bed, and pretty much don't bathe. It's glorious.
Dear Mama,
You make it soun like you dont like gettin up in th middle o th nite an watchin us pee in th grate outdoors. We considr this quality time we can spend tgether as a famly. How coud we evr think of excludin you?
Love,
Stinky & Tiny
Sweety's in TEXAS? Wish I'd known, I would've invited him to happy hour last night.
~~~secret~~~
I drink out of the containers even when I'm not home alone, I just hide behind the kitchen cabinets.
Amber - I think he's in Corpus Christi. Or close to there. I know he's going to see a ballgame tomorrow at Whataburger Field.
I ALMOST went to see The Omen last night after work but chickened out.
Titus - We do the bottle water thing for the boys. It does cut down on dishes. I've also written their names on a cups and they have to use just those.
Mike - It is nice to be home alone and be able to sleep diagonal on the bed.
I think blogger has PMS.
Ree - Okay, I will now admit that I haven't bathed or made my bed either. But then again, I haven't gotten out of bed yet.
Joey Polanski - So now Stinky and Tiny are telling you secrets? Unloyal fuckers.
Michael - We'll be back in Texas in a couple of weeks! (hint, hint)
So now I will go ahead and admit that even when I'm not home I sometimes drink out of the containers. But not ever anything that I might give to guests.
I hate being home alone, even with all the dogs. I'm so freaked out that the boogie man is going to attack me and the dogs will be on HIS side!
Bekah - It's a given that both our dogs would happily walk over my corpse to leave with the boogie man.
I drink out of the containers when I'm not home alone. It's paybacks because I've seen Zube Boy do it. But, it's not often that we have visitors who want a glass of cranberry juice, so I don't feel bad.
Zube Girl - I think Sweety would freak out if he saw me drinking from the container. And then I'd never hear the end of it.
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