8/26/06

Another Wild & Crazy Saturday Night

The piece of shit can-opener that resides in this house must be replaced. Aaaaaagh! I almost gave myself a stroke with the anger that was just generated in opening 2 cans of fucking beans. Are beans worth dying for? I think not. Especially not the kind of beans that come out of a damn can.

I borrowed the Reverend's suggestion for building cornbread from the comments section of this post and I can't wait to eat some of it for breakfast tomorrow.

I'm taking advantage of Sweety's absence to watch The Hills Have Eyes. He's a big chicken and won't watch scary movies. Hopefully, he'll get home before I sit here and get too freaked out by it.

Stinky dog just sneezed and farted at the same time. This caused me to laugh until I started coughing and then I coughed hard enough to piss myself. Stinky & I are quite an attractive pair.

Sweety isn't home. He bowled today and then went with his buddies to eat and drink beer at one of those restaurants where they have scantily clad waitresses. He asked me if I wanted to go but I don't feel like looking at that much tit tonight.

Well, son of a bitch. I burnt the beans. I didn't really want to eat the shit that's stuck to the bottom of the pan anyway.

14 comments:

anaglyph said...

Enjoy your breakfast! Mmmmm. Maybe I ought to go make some myself.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

What a day! LOL! I love you and Stinky Dog and all the fun you are having....!

MollyNormal said...

I can relate to the anger-stroke induced by household appliances. I almost had one this morning because of the fucking coffee pot! For some reason, instead of putting delicious coffee in the pot for me to drink, all the water collected inside the filter area. So when I opened the little filter door, water and coffee grounds spill all over my clean counters and floors. No one should have to deal with that kind of stress before they've even had a cup!!!

patti_cake said...

For the love of God replace the can opener LOL cooking is NOT worth dying over :) Hope you enjoyed the movie and Sweety enjoyed looking at, well, er, um

Joey Polanski said...

Stinky sneezd n fartd, you pissd yerself, an I shit meself.

Th excremental chain-reaction cntinues ...

Midwestern City Boy said...

From a male perspective, there is no such thing as too much tit. The only thing better than a dinner at a restaurant with scantily clad waitresses is dinner at a restaurant with un-clad waitresses. Oh thats right, they don't have places like that but if they did... I think I would rather watch them than stinky.

Bec said...

You freakin' CRACK ME UP! I LOL when I read that Stinky dog sneezed and farted at the same time! God!

Rich | Championable said...

That's one of those things that takes years: replacing the can opener. I don't know why that is.

Stumbled across your blog via Ginamonster. Pretty hilarious. I'll be back.

Chickie said...

Anaglyph - It was quite tasty. And I owe you one for teaching me to toast cornbread! I'd never even thought of doing that before. *insert lip smacking sound here*

OOLOTH - Stinky is pretty good company!

MollyNormal - Oh man, it pissed me off just to read about your rebellious coffeepot. Bastard.

Patti_Cake - I'm going to replace the opener. I'm just waiting to find the perfect one. The movie yucked me out! I wouldn't take the dogs outside til Sweety got home from his ogle session.

Joey Polanski - Thank you for participating in the circle of life.

MCB - If it was the kind of place where you got a peek at nipples then I'd have ditched Stinky dog in a minute.

Bec - Don't you wish you had a dog so talented?

Rich Championable - I think this can opener is at least 7 years old. I almost feel guilty tossing it. Glad you came by!

Oº°‘¨t®ãg‘°ºO said...

That movie creeped me out hardcore. You think Stinky is bad? My Dads dog used to forage for snacks in the cat's box. Waaay worse stink - double poop!

The Phosgene Kid said...

Lot of bodily functions going on over there - may want to backoff those beans a bit.

Chickie said...

Tragic - The movie freaked me out good also. Luckily, Stinky hasn't found our cat's litterbox.

The Phosgene Kid - We've gotta find our fun one way or another!

r.fuel said...

So what if he's a chicken? Chickens are productive members of our society. Plus, they're a great source of lean protein.

Chickie said...

R.Fuel - I blame you if I resort to cannibalism.