Things that you would've heard in our house tonight:
It's not a fucking Christmas present. You don't need to peek under it and THEN yank it off. Just pull it OFF!
Go heat up the damn wax some more, bitch.
Ow ow ow ow! Mother fucker!
Thirty seconds! You're supposed to wait thirty seconds before you yank it off! How the fuck are you counting? One...two...three...thirty?
Hey, Donkey, do you even know how the count to thirty? I think that was only 17 seconds.
Sweety's back was waxed tonight! Big fun! For some reason, making him cry and eat his pillow just brings out the maniacal laughter in me.
The fact that I was laughing so hard that I was crying during the entire hour-long ordeal did not make him any happier.
I should open a salon.