I'm Rambling

I just got finished bleaching my teeth with one of those at-home things (you make a mold of your teeth and then wear the mold with the bleach in it for 10 minutes) and my mouth feels all funky. And my teeth look splotchy. The box said that might happen but that it should go away. This is my last effort at doing it myself before going to the dentist's office and having them laser my teeth until they look like toilet-bowl-white-chicklets. Okay, maybe I don't want them blindingly white but you get the picture.

I swear, if Stinky dog doesn't quit noisily licking her coochie, I will SCREEEEAM! Damn dog, knock it off. I know it's clean! I just washed it for you last night!

Have you ever had things that you knew that needed to be done or changed and just kept putting them off? I am so there. I really need to make some adjustments with myself or else I'm afraid that I'll end up old and alone with just my 82 chihuahuas for company.

I am off to clean the pad (REALLY! I am! Sweety, if you're reading this, the house around you should be clean!) and I'd like to leave you with this funny that I found in my mailbox.

During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.

What about you Peter, how would you say it?"
Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."

That just really tickled me.


Thomas Vickers said...

Don't you love it when your dogs go on the licking rampage? It doesn't matter how clean they are, they have to use that tongue for something.
It never bothered me till it started to drive my wife insane.
I wonder if it just a little dog thing or a big dog thing too?



bekah said...

Dogs tend to lick themselves more after a bath because it isn't "their scent" or even the scent they're used to...

All three of my dogs like to go on licking rampages, and I just yell at them to stop. I don't care if your asshole itches, don't sit there and suck on it while I'm trying to eat dinner, you little bastards.

Chickie said...

Thomas Vickers - I think it's an all dog thing. Tiny dog does it too but it doesn't bug me like Stinky doing it does. Stinky dog is just louder because she's bigger, I guess.

Is that your little dog? How cute!

Bekah - Ah, your explanation makes sense! I thought maybe she was enjoying sniffing her coochie because it did smell different. Kinda like taking a new person on a date.

Debra said...

Uck @ dogs and licking themselves! And they can't just lick, they spend hours sucking at themselves too! Ewwwww!

lol @ the funny though- that may have been the most politely worded dirty thing I'm ever read!

r.fuel said...