Just Grouching

The ExWife told Sweety that her mother (who was living with her) is moving. Because of this EW needs to get another cell phone (she doesn't have a land line) so that when she leaves BigBrother at home to watch his brothers he'll have one. The problem? It'll cost her a deposit to get him a phone on her plan and BB had mentioned to her that maybe we'd get him one on our plan and there'd be no deposit. So she wanted to know if we were getting him a phone and then she wouldn't have to worry about it. Actually, there's been no plan of getting BB a phone. We've told him that he'll get one "someday". Someday being when he starts with extracurricular activities after school. We don't want to add him onto our phone plan and pay a monthly fee when the phone won't be used too much right now.

Part of me says "You should be nice and go ahead and get him the phone to be used over there since you can afford it and she can't." And the other part of me says "She needs to buy her own shit! Or maybe just not leave BB at home alone with 2 smaller kids! Huh, how about that? Maybe she should take those kids that she lives for everydamnwhere and then she won't have to worry about what they are doing!"

While I'm being a petty bitch, let me tell you about something else.

LittleBrother came bouncing up to me the other day waving this book around that he wanted to read to me. Turns out, he had to write a story for art class and illustrate it in a book. The title of the story was Why Is My Family So Big? and he drew everybody in his family...except for me. I just kept my glass smile on and oohed and ahhed over his artwork and good spelling and told him that he did a great job. Then I cried in the freaking bathroom. I guess he'd been working on it for a few days and when he first showed it to Sweety he asked Sweety if it was okay that I wasn't in it. Sweety told him to do whatever he wanted because it was his book. When Sweety found out that I'd been presented the book he wanted to know if it hurt my feelings. No shit, Sherlock.

Sometimes I hate being married to someone that has an exwife and kids. Don't get me wrong - I love the boys to pieces but it is so freaking hard sometimes! I know there are some folks out there genuinely seem to get along with an exspouse and I would love to be able to do that. I think it would make me a happier person. Or trying to be totally nice would drive me the last half mile to crazy.


Ginamonster said...

Why doesn't she get a cheap landline? The phone company will give a discount if she is poor and it will be a fraction of the cost of a cell, harder to lose, or heavan forbid, be out of juice of there is an emergency.

Being a step mom is never easy. Perhaps next time it comes up, Sweety can remind LB that it is up to him but to remember that you are part of the family now. Some people condemn me for not wanting to date a man with children. But women who have sure do understand!

Titus said...

I am sorry to hear about the book ChiCkie. It will come in time.

Thomas Vickers said...

Exwives suck. Not in a good way. Kids of exwives must be a real test.

Sweetie should have told him that you are part of his family. Wonder if the ex put him up to it?

Don't worry about it though. Once the kids get old enough to realize how cool you are, mom is doomed.

PS. I hate pencils. They are for math class.

Pusher Robot said...

yeah, what they said ...
it really does get better ... it just sucks getting there.
hang in there and keep up the lovin'!

bekah said...

I think that Sweety should've made it clear to LB that you ARE a part of the family because he chose to marry you. It's not LB's choice to accept you, it's his choice to LIKE you. He does need to accept that you're in this family, and have been for a while.

patti_cake said...

Girl I am so sad that it made you cry.... :(

Joey Polanski said...

Th curious thing is that LB felt such a pressin need to show you th book, dspite feelin a need to ask his dad if it was "okay" that you aint in it.

I kno hes just a little kid, but the insensitivity of some people is downright astonishing.

I know yer hurt, Chickie -- undrstandably so. But it is good t kno where ya stand. Somday, youll have cause to remind fokes where ya stand -- much to their dismay, Im sure.

NeverEZme said...

Yea I can see you getting BigBrother a cell phone. Then the EX can cancel her phone and just use BB's. That's what my first wife would of done!!!
I know what it is like with step children my wife has three children two boys that live with their father. Whne they were little I was left off things too. Her daughter that lived with us though treated me as her father until she became a teenager.
LittleBrother should be sat down and told although it was his book it still hurt your feelings that you were left out.

scorpy said...

step-motherhood sucks. Every once in a while, though, you get a gem of caring out of them, and it 'bout breaks your heart. Just consider yourself lucky that he wants to share his books with you. the most caring thing I've heard from my step-son is a little piece of paper on which he drew a teary frowm and wrote: "Are you made at dad?" (misspelling and all)
Treasure the little things, Chickie. The rest sucks, certainly, especially the expectations of the children and their mother. I wouldn't get the phone, just because it's expected, though.

Mike said...

Being a step parent is never easy. Everytime you think you are gaining ground and making headway the little pukes do something like you just described. I've been there and it does hurt. The feelings went away when we had kids of our own. Everybody got in line then.

Chickie said...

Ginamonster - She used to have a land line and got it disconnected. I have a feeling that her credit isn't too good and there'd be a deposit on any type of phone. We still get various bills that are past due and in her name delivered here.

Titus - Surely so.

Thomas Vickers - The ex didn't put him up to it. I don't even think he worked on the book at her house.

Pusher Robot - Thanks!

Bekah - I think Sweety was kind of taken aback when LB said that to him and just didn't really know what to say.

Chickie said...

Patti_Cake - What doesn't kill us...right?

Joey Polanski - I was more offended by it after I found out that he'd asked Sweety about it too. Kind of like gee, was the kid just pouring salt on me or what?

NeverEZme - Heh, her taking the phone had never occurred to me! She wouldn't be able to do that though because BB would have to carry it between our house and hers.

I don't want to even mention it to LB. I have a feeling that maybe he didn't put me in to keep from hurting his mom's feelings if she saw the book.

Scorpy - I've gotta admit, both of the boys do their share of nice things that make me smile so I'll just suck this one up.

Mike - I'm afraid that when I have kids that the boys would like me less because they wouldn't be getting as much attention. We'll burn that bridge when we get there.

Manic Mom said...

Found you from 25 Peeps. I could click on your picture because MINE is lower than yours so I guess that won't affect my standing... haha.

I'm sorry your stepson didn't include you in the book. THat royally sucks. You handled it beautifully though.