Thanksgiving. Gah.

Do any of you all remember my last year's HNT Thanksgiving time photo? It's me, nekkid behind the Boston Market bag because that's where our Thanksgiving dinner comes from because I'm not good at cooking that sort of thing.

The first year we were married - I cooked the giblet bag in the turkey. We wondered why it took so long to cook and then Sweety pulled out the "surprise" when carving the turkey.

The next year - We bought a ham and I cooked side dishes. Sweety's sister was eating with us and cleaned her plate. I realized later that the green bean casserole wasn't done and it was like eating boiled shoelaces. I don't know how she managed to choke hers down. I threw mine away.

Once I cooked a frozen pizza with the cardboard still on the bottom.

Guess what? We're having company for Thanksgiving! Shitshitshitshit. Sweety's Dad and Stepmother. I like them both but I sure do hate having people here. Entertaining and feeding people are not among my strengths.

Last night, Sweety told me I'd have to cook a turkey for everyone and I flipped out. He realized that I was fixing to have a nervous breakdown and told me that we'd continue our tradition of purchasing the meal. Good. I'm hoping his sister will volunteer to have Thanksgiving dinner at her house.

I'd much rather have my in-laws think (know?) that I'm too lazy to cook than know that I'm a sucky cook.

This visit also means that I have to get the house company clean. This will also include shampooing the dog feet smell out of the carpet. What fun.


L said...

nothing wrong with buying food for Thanksgiving if you would rather spend the time hanging out with family :)

The Phosgene Kid said...

I look forward to grilling my turkey. I am doing four for the folks at work - I could send one your way if you like...

Sean Carter said...

Hey I don't think that there's anything wrong in buying food for Thanksgiving. After all Thanksgiving is a time to be enjoyed rather than thinking about how good a cook one is. Well I can suggest you to visit this
Thanksgiving Blog and you'll find a lot of ideas that is sure to make your your Thanksgiving celebrations one to remember.

Debra said...

You're not serious, about the pizza and the cardboard? When we bu those we always cook it with the cardboard still under it... aren't you supposed to do that?

Other then that, best of luck. I can cook rice, and um... rice. Sometimes ramen if I don't forget about it.

bekah said...

Even better than buying food on Thanksgiving is going out to eat on Thanksgiving at one of those buffet places. You can gorge the shit out of yourself and not have to clean anything up.

r.fuel said...

If you get friendly with the manager of a Popeye's, sometimes you can get them to deep-fry a turkey for you.

patti_cake said...

Do you have a Heavenly Ham down there? They will do a ham or turkey dinner with all the fixings and are DELISH. I"m with ya sistah. I'll be doing the freak-out-the-whole-families-coming NEXT year for Thanksgiving.

Becky said...

Says you :"I like them both but I sure do hate having people here. Entertaining and feeding people are not among my strengths."

OH.MY.GOD! We are so connected at the hip. I HATE having people over. Period. And guess what? Since we have the biggest house in the local family, I've been volunteered to have the *vomit* FORTY person family dinner HERE! Just found this out last night.

Thank GOD MIL is going to do most of the cooking, but SHIT! I don't want that many people in my LIFE...not to mention my HOUSE!! I freak out with ONE guest...even when they are invited!!!

I always tell hubby we should just lock the door and hide when everyone shows up. They'd be like: "What happened to Becky and Bill?"
Then later we'd be like: "WHAT? IT WAS THANKSGIVING TODAY? When did they start having it on Thursdays?? DANG! We must have MISSED IT! Shucky darn"

somehow he never goes for it

NeverEZme said...

Hey Chickie!!! Have hubby deep fry your turkey!! Then you won't have too! My wife did the same thing with the giblet bag. She had never cooked a bird before either. She also forgot to put the sugar in the pumkin pie mix! Her son love the pie though, I didn't know how he could get it down!!!LOL

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I think it's great that you get your Thanksgiving dinner from Boston Market...And I bet it is delicious! We used to have a Boston Market very close to me, but it folded about a year after it opened and I'm not sure why! I often stopped there to get stuff to go and the veggies were always wonderful! And, come to think of itm so was the Turkey!
Can I come to your house for Thanksgiving? (LOL)

Chickie said...

L - Exactly!

The Phosgene Kid - Do you accept credit cards?

Sean Carter - I'll check it out :) Any help would be good.

Debra - I can cook the hell out of some rice! I have a rice cooker.

Bekah - Going out to eat is high on my list of things for the holiday. I'm trying to talk Sweety into it.

R. Fuel - There's nobody at my neighborhood Popeye's that I'd trust to fry a turkey. You're lucky if their chicken doesn't hurt you.

Patti_Cake - No Heavenly Ham but we get one from Honeybaked Ham. Good stuff! And they do all the fixings too!

Becky - Why don't you two just come down here for Thanksgiving? And I can take you out to eat?

NeverEZme - To be honest, the idea of frying a turkey scares me. What if it blows up?

OOLOTH - I'll set a place for you and Sweetie!

Anonymous said...

Just buy one of those big family size Banquet frozen turkey and gravy things and no one will be the wiser.

Osbasso said...

You KNOW that I didn't even have to go back to check out the picture! One of your finest!

Good luck with the guests!

Midwestern City Boy said...

I checked the picture but I remember it well. Around here are a lot of places hat will make your Thanksgiving dinner the day before and all you have to do is heat it up.

BTW: I thought you had a super snazmatic carpet cleaner that shouldn't have any problem getting the dog feet smell out of the carpet.

Amy said...

I'm not very familiar with Boston Market (so I might look like a total ass here) but I do know that there are places you can order a gorgeous already cooked turkey and you could just put it in the oven to warm it up, bring it out on a lovely platter and fool everyone. :o)

Chickie said...

Mike - The last time I ate a Banquet dinner I found a rock in it.

Osbasso - Thanks!

MCB - I do have the carpet cleaner but I still have to get off my ass and use it.

Amy - I'm thinking of going the buy and heat route. That would seem more homemade.