Remember the gutter slut that hung up on me when I called my credit card company? His supervisor pulled the call and he got written up. Good. Jackass.

And I briefly mentioned a child plowing into my car while he was riding his bicycle in this post. Now that the drama is over I'll elaborate a bit on what happened. I was taking BigBrother to school and was stopped at a 4-way stop. It was my turn to go (and there were no kids in sight on the sidewalk) and I started to go but another car went instead. I was pulled about 1/2 way into the cross walk when I stopped because they weren't going to stop so I could take my turn. I was stopped in the center of the crosswalk for about 5 seconds while waiting for the car to go through and some little moron on a bike decided to RIDE AROUND MY CAR while it was in the crosswalk. I took my foot off the gas and rolled forward about 6 inches. Just far enough to have the kid hit my bumper with his front tire and fall down. He was moving faster than I was when this happened. He was hauling ass through the crosswalk and didn't stop to walk it through like you're supposed to. He got up and said he was okay but that his leg hurt from where he fell down and said he was going to school. (My first instinct when it happened was to drive away and enroll BB in private school somewhere and go trade my car in for a different one.) I dropped BB off at school and called Sweety freaking out.

Hey! Guess what? I just hit a kid on a bike!

What? Noooooo! Noooooo!

Yeah. Really. Why the fuck would I lie?

Oh shit. No! You didn't!

At this point I'm getting pissed because obviously it happened now tell me what the hell I need to do! I was so freaked out that I realized that I was driving around LOST and we live less than 2 miles from the school.

Sweety called the police and they came to the house and I called the school and told them what happened. The nurse there basically said that the kids have been warned to not run between cars and maybe this would make them listen. The officer told me that I could get a ticket for leaving the scene but since the kid left too that neither one of us would get a ticket. The kid was also told since he didn't walk his bike through the crosswalk and since he wasn't wearing a helmet that he was lucky to not get tickets for that.

Long story short, since I was in a car it was considered my fault and the kid cashed in for several thousand dollars worth of pain and suffering for his sprained ankle from my insurance company and now I'm a nervous wreck every time I have to go to BB's school.

Whenever I see a kid run through the crosswalk or ride their bike through it now I want to beat them with a stick. Unaware, selfish little shits.

Awhile back I waxed Sweety's back. It was time to defuzz again last night and I did something different. Instead of wax (since he was such a crybaby last time) I used Magic Shaving Powder. It come in powder form and you mix it with water to get this foul smelling (like rotten eggs) stuff that melts the hair away. The fun part was when I got to splat the cold mixture on Sweety's back and he screamed. (When my back hurts he'll put pain relieving gel on it and he's never kind enough to warm it in his hands first. He just drizzles it COLD on my back while I try not to flinch. So this was my payback for that.) A good time was had by all.


Amy said...

Finally... some rotten customer service dick getting what they deserve. At least someone got revenge. I'm still waiting for mine.

Kids on bicycles always make me nervous. I think I might have thrown up in the freaking car. I don't blame you for driving around lost... I'd have been just as bad, if not worse.

Kids just don't get how reckless they are or how much trouble adults get into when they act like little morons.

Joey Polanski said...

When ya beat them kids wit a stick, make sure Sweety dont call th cops on ya ...

... especialy if ya cause more damage than a spraind ankle.

Debra said...

Glad to hear a nasty fine was all you got, aside from a near heart attack. Too bad the kid didn't have to pay you for being an idiot though. That would have been awesome!

Chickie said...

Amy - I wanted to throw up but it's hard to do that when you stop breathing.

It warmed my heart to hear the the jackass got in trouble. This is probably the only time I'll feel vindicated regarding crappy customer service.

Joey Polanski - I'll keep Sweety in the dark when I decide to beat children. It'll be for his own protection.

Debra - I'm kind of stupid when it comes to how insurance works. I spent 2 weeks thinking the family would sue us and we'd have to sell our house before Sweety explained that insurance would cover everything. He noticed that I was acting especially crazy and wanted to know what I was worrying about. He laughed when I told him that I thought this experience would make us homeless.

Anonymous said...

I hate it when I see a kid on a bike or skateboard or anything. The little demons are so unpredictable. I am sure it was nerve wracking waiting to get through all of that.

The Phosgene Kid said...

Next time back up and finish the job

Midwestern City Boy said...

Glad to hear that the jackass got written up.

Where were you when I was younger? I got bumped twice (once in high school and once in college) when I younger and I didn't get anything except dirty looks. And it was their fault.

Seriously, don't worry about bumping the kid. That is what insurance is for.

Chickie said...

Mike - I'd like to find another way to deliver/pick up BB from school but this is the only way in/out of the school. I'm afraid to let him walk because he might get ran over.

The Phosgene Kid - Okay.

Midwestern City Boy - I really hate that our insurance rates had just decreased. I can't wait to see how much they get hiked up now.