Why do people park like this? Do you really think that it will help keep your Jaguar safe? I think it puts a target on you. If I don't want my car to get dinged, then I park in the back of the lot and walk up. Not up front, taking up two spots. Sir, I hope that someday, my evil twin drags her purse across your hood. This peeves me just a bit less than going to the school to pick up the boys and seeing someone stop their car in the crosswalk.

My next 30 days worth of food from Nutrisystem arrived last night. I love mail. Even when it's just little pouches of food. So far, I've lost right at 20 pounds. I should be ready to run naked through the streets dirt roads of Oklahoma by the time my vacation gets here this summer. My Mom will be so proud.

You know I took Tiny Dog to the baseball game the other night? Guess what that bitch has a taste for now? Already chewed gum. When I sat down I made sure to sweep away all the peanut shells and cigarette butts so she wouldn't eat them. I didn't think that she'd scrape the gum that was smashed into the sidewalk up but she did. It took less that 3 seconds for me to fish the gooey mess out of her mouth. I was so panicked, that I forgot to be grossed out over the fact that I was touching someone else's used gum.

Patti_Cake mentioned that someone at her work prays in the bathroom stalls and that reminded me of something - I don't know if I've mentioned it here before, but I think there is nothing creepier than a kid talking/muttering in their sleep. LittleBrother does it every night and it makes my hair stand on end. Me and Sweety say that he's rebooting for the next day and getting some sort of other worldly direction on his activities.

Oh! Jehovah's Witnesses are knocking on the door. They've been coming around for about 3 years now and I just don't have the heart to tell them that I don't believe in anything. I should have told them in the beginning but didn't want to be rude. Now that the charade has been going on for so long I'd really feel like a tool if I told them that I didn't have any sort of religious beliefs (and have been letting them waste their time), so I just hide and be quiet when they come by now. I guess I'll go see what magazines they left today.


Joey Polanski said...

Th rudely parkd car reminds me: In a apartment complex I used to visit, one of th parking "stalls" was Xd out ("No Parking") because it happmd to be right in front of a stairwell leading in & out o th building. That empty space was a little too tempting fer fokes needin a place to park, and so it very oftn was occupied by somones parkd car.

One fine day, I happmd to notice that someone had walked, wif extremely muddy shoes, right over th rudely parkd car -- from front end to back end, makin sure not to miss the windshield & rear window on th way.

Luckily, I dint photograph th evidence. Chickies evil twin is safe from prosecution.

patti_cake said...

I'm like you, that Jag is just screaming "DING ME".

OMG that creeps me out about LB also. I have a nephew that slept with his eyes open when he was a kid. FREAKED.ME.OUT when I would babysit. I get shivers just picturing him now.

Mike said...

I hate people that park cars like that and wish them nothing but bad things.

Must be Jehovah Witness season. When I came home from work yesterday there was a Watchtower magazine left at my door. I brought it in and peed on it.

I wonder if the Witnesses have to sneak into Mormon country dressed as Mormons?

Amy said...

That idiot is just begging to have their car keyed.

I hate it when those people come to my door. I hide and don't answer it either.

~*Kelli*~ said...

OMG! You SERIOUSLY need to listen to Julia Sweeney's "Letting Go of God." She does a whole funny thing about the Jehovah's Witnesses. It is great.

Did you make a page yet on dogster.com for your pooches?

Em said...

I hate people that park like that. What arrogance!!

And I agree with kelli...the Julia Sweeney piece is hilarious!

Midwestern City Boy said...

Congratulations on losing the 20 pounds!

People like that have good reason to park like that because someone always ends up making their concern a self fulfilling prophecy. They always end up with way more nicks and dents than if they just parked normally. When I had a small car, I'd back in next to then and make them get in from the passenger side. And I'd be none to careful opening my door.

The Phosgene Kid said...

Give the Jehovah's some of Tiny Dog's gum...

Chickie said...

Joey Polanski - Ah, I love the muddy shoes! Thank you for helping keep Chickie's evil twin safe and available to do more good deeds.

Patti_Cake - I'd have to smother a kid that slept with its eyes open.

Mike - How surprising that the Witnesses are in Mormonville! I'll bet they are really Mormons in disguise just trying to find a way in to your house.

Kelli - I've got the dogster thing bookmarked to do but haven't done it yet! I'll let you know when I do. I checked it out and I'll be doing it.

EM - People that park like that make my eye twitch.

I've got to find this Julia Sweeney thing.

Midwestern City Boy - Thanks for the congrats! I'm pretty pleased with myself and Sweety has been supportive without pissing me off so I'm really liking the program!

The dumbass parked like this also had the back windows on the car rolled down. It was so hard to not spit a snotwad in the back seat when I walked by.

The Phosgene Kid - I think it's against their religion to chew gum.