My Chi Is Screwed

When I got to work last Thursday, I found that everyone in the cube farm had been moved from where they'd been sitting to new spots. I don't like my new spot. Gah. I almost gagged to death before I could properly disinfect my new home.

I don't know if I've mentioned it here before, but I hate to waste steps. What if my feet have only been allotted a certain number of steps before I die? If I'm doing things around the house, I'll plot out how I can take care of my chores using the least number of steps.

Well, to get to my old desk at work it took 50 steps and that was by taking the most direct route. It takes 42 steps to get to my new desk. This is 30 more steps than it should take. My new desk is actually the closest one to the entrance door but I have to walk around the edge of the cube farm to get to the opening where I can access my desk. I have to walk past my desk before looping around the perimeter of the cube farm before I can sit down. If I could just climb over the little wall by my desk and drop down onto it like a spider monkey, it would only take 12 steps. I am so very tempted to use a chair to climb over the wall but I am also now sitting right underneath a security camera (no more picking my nose after everyone leaves) and I don't want to subject the security guards to the sight of me scrabbling over the wall.

You'd think that I'd be happy that my new desk is 8 steps closer than the old one but I'm not. It makes me crazy that I have to walk past my desk (so close yet so far away!) before I can settle into it.

I know that people are starving in Africa, but this is the shit that bugs me.


bekah said...

I think the reason I love you so much is because you're such a freak.

Chickie said...

Bekah - I always knew that being a freak would come in handy.

Mike said...

This is a serious issue. If I were you, I would piss my pants and then walk into my supervisor's office (crying) and complain about the new seating arrangement.

Sara Sue said...

You can still pick your nose ... you just can't wipe it on anyone else's keyboard anymore.

Sara Sue said...

(ever notice how often Mike offers soiling one's self as a solution?)

patti_cake said...

Girl you are OCD B-a-a-a-ad!
I would hate to have security cameras on me! Ack.

Chickie said...

Mike - If I were to wet myself at work, they'd just send my back to my desk to marinate. I'd end up with a rash.

Sara Sue - Glad to know that my picking days aren't completely over! Thank you for the guidance.

Regarding Mike - I guess if you find something that works for you then you want to share it.

Patti_Cake - The camera really bugs me too but I've been so preoccupied with worrying about how many steps I'm wasting that I haven't dealt with that issue.