Where is my tiny cheese grater?

Because I need it to rub on my eyes.

If BigBrother asks me one more stinking time...

Are we getting a hotel room on Friday night? (We're going to a theme park on Saturday that's a ways off and we may get a room Friday night so we don't have to get up so early on Saturday. I have already told him eleventy billion times that I won't know until TOMORROW. Is it TOMORROW yet, boy?)

What is for dinner? Are we having *insert food item here*? Can we go to *insert restaurant name here*? (I've already said "I don't know yet. We'll figure it out after your dad gets home." at least 17 times in the past 30 minutes. Just because you keep finding new ways to ask the same damn questions doesn't mean that I'll have an answer for you any sooner.)

The phrase "Quit asking me fucking questions!" is right on the tip of my tongue.

I'm gonna go hide in the bathroom and pretend that I'm pooping. They don't bother me in there if they think I'm doing that.


Regal said...

Because she's 16 and I denied her permission to do something one day, I responded with (don't forget...she was on my last nerve when I said this)..."Look at my face. Do I look like I give a f#ck what the other kid's parents let them do!)

Not a proud moment but I think I got the point across. They wanted to do something ridiculous and she wouldn't let up and that's when it came out. AND I'm tired of hearing, 'well so and so can..." or 'so and so's mom lets her.'

My comment seemed harmless compared to what I was thinking...like...'I can't help it if so and so's mother is an a$$!' (I think "so and so" was standing next to her when this transpired!)

But I like your tactic and would do it too - hide and pretend I'm pooing.

Thomas said...

I am hiding in the bedroom reading blogs while my little dirt urchin suffers through nap time.
Even if she doesn't sleep, she gets nap time every day.

Today is a sleepless day, so I hide, read, and listen to her babble on the monitor.

I should record and transcribe what she says.


Chickie said...

Regal - I know that the pestering by the kids is going to get worse as they get older. I should probably just go all crazy on them now so they'll know what they're dealing with.

Thomas - I'm pretty sure when kids do that babbling that they are responding to orders from the Dark Side. Someday, LittleBrother is going to creep me out too much with his night talk and I'm going to tape his mouth shut.

Mike said...

eleventy billion times. i haven't heard that phrase since i was a kid...asking my mom what was for dinner eleventy billion times.

jedimacfan said...

Why pretend? I mean, as long as you're in there... you know?

The Phosgene Kid said...

Ah, that is why god gave you the back of your hand - so you could give it to him...

Cissy Strutt said...

Write your stock answers on handy pieces of paper. When the kid bugs you, calmly & mutely select the correct piece of paper and hold it up - perhaps pointing to the writing helpfully with your finger.

When I'm looking after my nephew Fynn7 and he's bugging me I start imitating him - drives him crazy. hee hee. If that doesn't work I have a tantrum. Shocks him to silence every time. Then we laugh.

patti_cake said...

I would definitely hide in the bathroom if I could get away with it. Unfortunately with a toddler, you can't!
Have fun no matter what you decide!

Chickie said...

Mike - Eleventy billion must be a number that only moms are lucky enough to get to use.

JediMacFan - I can't. By the time I get ready to go hide in the bathroom I'm so tense that I couldn't go even if I needed to.

The Phosgene Kid - If I had birthed them, I might. I have to intimidate them mentally.

Cissy Strutt - I love the answers on a piece of paper idea! I am doing that!

Patti_Cake - Yeah, I used to try and hide in the bathroom when my niece was here (she was 3-4 at the time) and she'd slip notes and talk to me under the door. She always wanted to know if I was going to do #1 or #2 when I went in the bathroom so she'd know about how long I should be gone before she starting sending me letters.