Happy Cinco Diciembre!

Stinky went to the groomer's today and came back a brand new dog! She smells great and her teeth have been brushed. The first thing I did upon picking her up was sniff her mouth and it was like peppermint. While she was gone, Tiny was a nervous wreck. Poor thing. She finally lit a bunch of candles in the bathroom around Stinky's food bowl and laid in Stinky's bed and cried while she waited for her buddy to return. I don't know what will happen if Stinky kicks the bucket before she does. When it's Stinky's time to go to dog heaven, I hope she has a heart attack, falls on Tiny and smothers her. That way Tiny won't have to deal with the grief.

Our Christmas present came today! A massage chair! We've been looking at them for a couple of years and said to heck with it and went ahead and got one. They do a payment plan over 3 years with no interest. On every gift-giving occasion til it's paid off, we'll sit in the chair and tell each other, "Happy Valentine's Day" or "Happy Birthday" or "Merry Christmas". It is fanfuckingtastic! I laid back in it for 2 massages this morning and then passed out. It was like masturbation without the mess.

Chi Chi is not happy with the chair's arrival though. We had to move some furniture around to get it into our room and in the process ended up moving her bed. The whole time that I was in the chair, she was stomping around it and giving me the hair eyeball. She'll get over it. The chair has places for your hands (it looks kind of like a blood pressure cuff and it inflates and something in there massages you) and for a moment, I wondered what she'd do if I crammed her in there. She'd fit. But I'll never do that. I know it would be most unkind. I'm going to give her a nice little massage tonight (by hand) after she's bathed to make up for my mean thought.

BigBrother(13) just finished up with a science project (thinking about it makes my eye twitch) and has one due January 28 for social studies. The thought of it makes me want to cry. Are all 13 year old boys thick-headed or is it just mine? Most of my time is spent making sure that he knows what the fuck it is that the project is about and then helping him get it all tidy on the presentation board. It doesn't sound like a lot of work but it is. I'm pretty sure that all of my grey hairs have sprouted during school projects. Sheesh, my scalp is itching just thinking about it. I've tried to talk Sweety into letting BB do this project at his mother's house but Sweety won't hear of it because he knows it would look like shit. I think the kid needs to do at least one project over there and have it be craptastic with a bad grade so he can fully appreciate all of the effort that we bleed into projects at our house.