Shiny Happy

I'm happy.

This is so weird.

I can't remember the last time I really felt happy for more than 5 minutes. I'm going on day 3 or so. Maybe the meds are working or maybe it's my new job schedule or maybe it's that I feel like I can get out of the house and hang around other grownups without Sweety freaking out on me? Maybe it's a bit of all of the aforementioned. Whatever it is - I like it.

There were a few times today where I wanted to twist the boys' lips shut with bread ties just so I wouldn't have to listen to them pick-pick-pick at each other but I wasn't angry. It's nice to not walk around with a continuous undercurrent of angry pulsing through my veins. Instead, I have sparkly in my veins.

I'm gonna quit talking about it. I don't want to scare the happy away.

I mentioned to a friend my love of fizzing bath bombs and she has started making them! She sent some to me but I haven't had a chance to use them yet. I was going to tonight but I have to bathe Stinky and I don't like being in the tub after her. And I'll be too tired after washing her to sanitize the tub enough to sit my butt in it. When my friend's husband told Sweety that she was making bath bombs - Sweety told him that it must be nice to have a wife that has some initiative. I've been saying for awhile that I wanted to make them but that's as far as I've gotten. I'm such a slacker.

Why do I have a problem saying the word "vagina"? When my niece was here, she got a glance at Stinky Dog's flopping coochie (She's a big dog. It's big. You could probably stick ping pong ball in it if you greased it up.) and asked if I was sure that Stinky was a girl and not a boy. I told her yes and she asked how could I be sure. I said because Stinky doesn't have a penis. (See? No problem saying "penis") So she asked what Stinky had. (I know that she knows what Stinky has. I could tell from the gleam in her beady little eyes that she was enjoying that I was uncomfortable.) I said it was not a penis. Stinky has "girlie bits". And with that, Sylvie(9) gave an evil little chuckle and got in the shower. I was telling my sister about it and she said that it would have been okay to use the word "coochie". Vagina. Vagina. It just doesn't sound friendly.


Anonymous said...

Hasn't stinky been fixed? I've always though of dogs that have been fixed as not having much of anything. The parts are still there. they just aren't very useful.

Chickie said...

She's been fixed but she still has coochie lips. She likes to loudly lick them and that's what drew Sylvie's attention. The loud licking.

AmyD said...

I taught Maggie to say Vagina, but now she just calls her a 'Gina (not GEENA, but uh... GYYYNA like Gina but with a long i)

Dammit. nevermind. But, I swear it's cute.

Although, I have a sneaking suspicion if you heard her say testicles you would die laughing. It's hilarious!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Isn't that funny, Chickie...? I mean you don't have a problem saying anything else, do you?
I must admit, it is a kind of weird word, and I'm not sure why....It is a rather harsh sounding word.....Too bad whoever came up with it didn't give it more thought.,..It should have a softer sound somehow...Even Varina would have been better--though not really good either...! Coochie works for me....! How about "nether parts"....LOL! No, forget that one, too!
I do love that your neice is sooo smart....lol...That she knew you were uncomfortable....!

moooooog35 said...

My daughter knows it as "her toolie."

I will NEVER, EVER say the "v" word. It's a toolie. Little girls have toolies.

End of discussion.

Regal said...

Oprah calls it a "Va-jay-jay"

Jeni Angel said...

How dare you. You're happy? Who the hell do you think you are?

I like to say Vagina, only because it throws people off, since most people use any word but.

Bob said...

FWIW, I heard some parenting guru recently that blamed part of the sexual insecurities people have is stemmed in giving funny names to genitalia.

You don't give strange names to your foot or head or eyeball just because the words sound strange.

Not sure I agree, but something to think about.

Joey Polanski said...

Yeah. 'Vagina' dont sound friendly.

Neithr does 'Bite me', now that I think about it ...

Mike said...

Vagina is a little too technical for me. My wife says I can't call it a twat anymore so I just call it a girlie thing.

bekah said...

My friend has recently implemented a new pay system. When her kids pick on each other, and it gets to the point where she has to tell them to stop, they owe her money. Maybe if you started charging the boys for every time they go, *whiiiiine whiiiiine* they'll cut back.

Sara Sue said...

LMAO @Stinky and her licking! Lucky bitch!

Nice to hear that you are really happy, my sistah! I hung every word about the underlying anger you were feeling. I was having that same current when I was living with my mom. Once I got out of there happy came back and just love waking up my old happy self again! Here's to happy and bitches that can lick loudly!

The Phosgene Kid said...

Happy is good! Tell sweety to make his own bath bombs...

Vaginally Yours,


here today, gone tomorrow said...

Naughty niece working her aunt over like that!

I've always preferred "pussy" to vagina.

Monogram Queen said...

So so so glad you are happy! You deserve it!

How do you make bath bombs???

Ha haaaa we call it "coochie" too. Don't know why.

Cissy Strutt said...

I'm okay with vagina. But if you're not, why not try "pink velvet sausage wallet".

The Phosgene Kid said...

Gaping hatchet wound

Chickie said...

AmyD - I totally believe her pronunciation is adorable. Heh, testicles. When Sylvie lived with us a few years ago, she heard the boys say their penis had been hit when they were wrestling around. She was wrestling with Sweety or the boys one night and got whacked between the legs. She bent over and started yelling, "my penis! you hit me in the penis!". I managed to correct her through my laughter.

Lady of the Hills - No, no problem saying anything else.This is probably a sign of a deep seated issue.

I knew that she knew what it was "really" called because her mother had a girl talk with her a couple of weeks ago. During the talk, Sylvie declared that she did not want to ever have a period and was rather upset when she was advised that it was probably inevitable!

moooooog35 - Toolie? I like that.

Regal - For a moment, I almost called it that. I got out "va-jay" and then cut myself off. I was afraid that my sister would want me to use the appropriate word when talking to my niece about it and opted to just not really call it anything.

Jeni Angel - Great. Now you've tainted my happiness with guilt.

Next time, I'll call you and you can say the word over the phone for me.

Bob - That makes sense. Hopefully, this one experience with me will not leave much of an imprint on her.

Joey Polanski - If 'bite me' is your pickup phrase, that could explain some things.

Mike - So your wife kicks you til a kidney comes out and then takes a word away from you? Sad. So sad.

bekah - If I were to try that, there would be whining saying that they weren't whining. I've just started making them clean the house more. Keeps them busy.

Sara Sue - The crazy thing is, I don't think I've felt really normal for freaking years! I think the odd work schedules I had were helping to fuck me up.

The Phosgene Kid - Dude, you are so wrong.

here today, gone tomorrow - Okay, now that you mention it, I don't really use "pussy" either. I don't know why. I've always been a coochie girl.

Monogram Queen - Happy is feeling so good!

There are all kinds of recipes online to make them. It costs pennies to make one but if you buy one, they run around $5!

Cissy Strutt - I am so going to tell Sweety to pet my "pink velvet sausage wallet" tonight!

The Phosgene Kid - I prefer ax wound to that. Less syllables.

Sara Sue said...

Friggin' Cissy!! I spit my coffee on the "pink velvet sausage wallet" ... not literally ... anyway ... people underestimate the power of regular sleep. It can make or break me, I know that for sure!

I had a girlfriend once who wore crotchless panties for her hubby. She surprised him by laying across the bed with her legs splayed open as he came into the room. The first words out of his mouth were, "Oh my God Sandy, you look like you've been shot with a thirty ought six!". They divorced soon after that and I've used the term "gunshot wound" to refer to her pussy ever since.