Long Time No See

Damn, it's been so long since I put anything here that I hardly know how to start.

I've was busy-busy until Sylvie left last week. I took her home on Tuesday and spent the night there. And since then? I don't know what I've been doing.

My work schedule has changed. I'm off on Wednesdays and the weekends (weekends! squee!) now. Work from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. I go in an hour earlier than I had been and that has been hard to get used to but I really like getting off an hour earlier too.

Friday night, I went to a friend's house and got home a wee bit late. Sweety came home from work to find a messy house and two hungry dogs and no wife and was a bit irritated when I finally did get home. Stinky Dog didn't help matters. She shit in the fucking pool when he let them out to potty. She was getting ready to pee on the pool deck and he was spying on her. She freaked out when he yelled at her to move off the deck and swung around and pooped right in the damn water.

It was one of the first things he mentioned when I weebled in at 1 a.m. Thanks, Stinky. You're "my" dog and you have to act like this when I'm not here?

On Saturday we were busy having crazy make-up sex and I got an accidental, tiny episiotomy with the Penis of Doom. It's never good when your coochie gets ripped. Even a little bit.

I've been having a hard time sleeping and took some melatonin last night. Have you ever taken it? It gives me some seriously strange dreams. But having crazy dreams is better than no sleep at all, in my book.

Okay. I'm gonna scoot around Blogland and get as caught up as possible with you all before Sweety gets home!


Joey Polanski said...

If I was you, Id shit in th pool and blame th dogski.

themom said...

OMG - a "you tube" video of dog pooping in pool - would have been hilarious. That will teach sweety NOT to yell at the poor dog!!

Thomas said...

Okay, dog shit in the pool was too funny.

Penis of doom ripping you a new one was not.

Magnesium is supposed to work the same as melotinin (sp?).

GOod luck
Booze or pills work the best for putting me to sleep.


rebturtle said...

Penis of Doom?! Holy crap. If I ever stop laughing long enough to think about it, I'll probably spend the rest of the night dreaming about Harrison Ford chasing me around 1930's North Africa screaming, "No! That thing belongs in a museum!!"

Monogram Queen said...

Poor Stinky, another reason for her nickname!

Ouch epis-whatever you call it sounds PAINFUL!

I am so sorry Sylvie is gone but I know she had a wonderful faboo visit!

Mike said...

Dog crap in the pool--hilarious. Well, probably not for you, but it's funny to me.


The Phosgene Kid said...

Probably a dog joke. Yukon pinches one off on the sidewalk every so often, he thinks that is hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Does Sweety know you call it the penis of doom?

It (a small tear) has happened to California Girl too a few times in the past so you are not alone. We've never been able to pinpoint the exact moment that it has happened so we don't know what to avoid.

BTW: you've never seen crap in a pool until a duck moves in.

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Although I'm scrinching my thighs together in sympathy, I can't stop laughing at the Penis of Doom.

Malia said...



Chickie said...

Joey Polanski - That's what I'll do if I ever want Sweety to dump her somewhere.

themom - I told him that about the yelling too! You can't scream at her in midstream. She's too nervous for that.

TV - Booze and pills work for me too but I can't do that if I have to go to work the next morning. I'm too old for that... *sigh*

rebturtle - If you haven't read it, you might like this story where the Penis of Doom reared its little head.

Monogram Queen - Yeah, Stinky is really living up to her name. Maybe I should start calling her something else. Like, "Lucky Lotto Numbers". My taint is feeling better now, thank goodness. I'm seeing Sylvie again this weekend! Yay!

Mike - I don't think I'll ever look back on it and laugh. Stupid dog.

Phosgene Kid - It may be a dog joke. Stinky has been known to take a grudge shit on the pool deck. Normally, she goes like a horse but every now and then? It looks like she had to work to get something out. Maybe it's dog graffitti?

Midwestern City Boy - I don't call it that to his face. He's seen it here though. Oh, we knew exactly when the rip occurred. It was when Sweety was doing some kind of trick move and I wasn't ready for it. Duck? Ick. I can only imagine!

here today, gone tomorrow - You're laughing with me and not at me. Right?

Malia - That's what I said! :)

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Yes! Laughing with. WITH! Coochies united!

Chickie said...

ht/gt - Okay. I was just checking! :)