I ditched a pair of panties in the bathroom of the Red Lobster in Fort Smith, Arkansas a couple of days ago. I'd overestimated the size of my butt when I bought new drawers before vacation and they were too big. Have you ever walked around all day with giant underwear galloping up your crack? I've got one word for you - Chafing. Oh, sweet, tiny, have only had talcum powder on your tiny heiny, baby Jesus. The chafing. I still can't walk right.
I love snooping. The first thing I do every year is open all my Mom's cabinets to see what she has in them. For the past 7 years, it's always been the same stuff. If I ever visit you, I will peek in your drawers too. And I'll straighten your towel closet. My towel closet at home looks like shit but I like to straighten them in other houses. Maybe I just like touching fluffy towels.
When I get to Texas, I'll spend some time at my best friend's (Elaine) house. She lives next door to her Mama and her Mama went to live in the nursing home this year. Sweety, the boys and I will stay in her Mama's house. I am very excited. She has had a lifetime to collect things and I will get to snoop! Elaine knows my fondness for snooping and has given me her full blessing to touch all of Mama's stuff. (Last year, E and me went over there and snooped through her things while she was at the library. I also got to see photos of my friend from when she was growing up. I love stuff like that.) Elaine isn't very sentimental and asked if there was anything that I'd like to take of her Mama's but I told her no. I just want to look at it and pick it up.