Baths Can Kiss My Freshly Squeezed Ass
By: Tiny Dog Oy
Guess what I got last night? A bath. And not just the regular bath that I'm accustomed to. The female biped had noticed that I was scooching my ass around the yard and decided that it was time to empty my anal glands. (By the way, the link there just describes how it is done. I wouldn't allow photos to be taken of the actual event. I have my pride.) Oh. My. Word. She did that horrible act about 30 seconds after taking this picture:
I don't like baths as it is but having my ass violated was really icing on the cake last night. Maybe it was a good thing though. Now when I go potty, I can go faster. I think I was, uh, constipated or something before. Or maybe I've just eaten too many Lincoln Logs. I love Lincoln Logs. And pencils. And paper.
I plan on getting back at the human for bathtime by chewing another hole in the wall when she goes on vacation this summer. One thing that I've learned from living here is that it's okay to wait on making revenge.
It seems that some of you people didn't care much for my glorious voice in my first post; I've been doing some singing when the humans are gone and Stinky dog Tasha says that I'm sounding much better.
My voice may not always be pretty but it gets the job done. After about 20 minutes of screaming at the human, she'll put me in the bed with her. But lately she's started sticking these orange things in her ears and I think they keep her from hearing me. Whenever I get the chance, I try to find those orange things and chew them up. So far I've managed to mangle 4 pairs of them. She throws them away when she catches me with them. I wish she'd let me keep them. They are so tasty.
I must go inspect every inch of the floor now and see if there are any small things on it that I'd like to chew.
Tiny dog out.