8/17/06

Too Lazy For A Title

Damn, I'm glad this day is over!

Thanks to everyone who came by and commented today!

About my pinky - That's something I inherited from my Grandpa. I can bend it so that it looks almost like a "r". My sister's is kind of crooked but not as much as mine.

Do you know what gets my goat? Mother-to-be parking spaces. I got a note on my car because I parked in one at work on Sunday. We have probably a dozen of those spots and I don't think we have that many knocked up chicks working on Sunday. If I find one of those spots at the mall or grocery store then it is my lucky day! Didn't women used to squeeze out babies while they were picking cotton or plowing the field and latch the baby onto their tit and finish their job? The only reason that I'd pass up a good parking spot is if it's labeled as a handicap space.

I spent some time today at work figuring out how I could get a pass into the Lactation Room. I've heard that nobody has ever used it but we have one anyway. I'd like to go in there and nap on my lunch break. I wonder, if I told my supervisor that I was being a wet nurse for someone if they'd let me go in there? Would I have to show bottles of breastmilk as proof of what I'd done or would they just take my word on it? I may have to investigate this a bit more...

Sweety's back is fucked up like a football bat from our little wax experience. I forgot to remind him to exfoliate thoroughly and a bunch of red angry things have cropped up on his back. It looks awful. When I see it, I want to reach up and scrub it with my newly grown fingernails til it's smooth. I know that that wouldn't be a nice thing to do so I've just been avoiding looking at his back.

21 comments:

The Phosgene Kid said...

I wish they had "I already had all the kids I am going to have" spaces, then I could park.

jedimacfan said...

I wish I had a nice tit I could latch on to while I was at work.

Joey Polanski said...

Now we kno, Chickie: You want t get pregnant sos t get bettr parkin privleges at werk. Clevr!

Oº°‘¨t®ãg‘°ºO said...

LOL! I wish I could grow my nails (re:your HNT) and I must confess that I took extreme advantage of the "stork parking" not so long ago. Elijah is 4 mths old now and I loved parking right by the door. I'm mad now that I'm too skinny. I'm thinking of taking a pillow to Walmart tomorrow actually ;)

Pusher Robot said...

THIS comedien does a piece that talks about "pregnant woman parking spaces" she basically has the same point of view as you on that. She said they should have to park farther away, step around the toys, follow the cheerios, etc ... that's good practice to be a mother. She also says PMS parking would be a better idea ... now that, she says would save lives!

patti_cake said...

I didn't think they could actually "regulate" stork parking like they can handicap.
Poor poor sweety LOL Ya think he'll let you wax it again? I want to get my monkey waxed but i'm too chicken.

Chickie said...

The Phosgene Kid - You should ask your store to put one of those in. Equality for all!

JediMacFan - Me too. I bet it would be very soothing.

Joey Polanski - You win. You've figured me out.

Tragic - Park there and if anyone asks tell 'em you're not showing yet!

Pusher Robot - Ooooh! I love the idea of PMS parking! That might have to go on a comment card somewhere.

Patti_Cake - At work they can regulate the stork parking. It's even listed that you can be fired for abusing the spots!

I wanna wax the monkey too but I'm too lazy to venture out and find somewhere to do it. If you do, make sure that you exfoliate!

Ginamonster said...

You could offer to scrub Sweety's back in the shower...with a loofah...

bekah said...

You need to tell them that yes, you may be wanting to have a baby therefore you MAY BE a mother SOMEDAY. It doesn't say "mother-to-be-in-the-next-9-months" does it? No! Park there, they can't TICKET you for it.

r.fuel said...

I agree with Bekah.

Mike said...

Yeah, just park in the spot. It's up to them to prove that you aren't knocked up.

Midwestern City Boy said...

I think better parking is just one more reason to stop using birth control and "go for it". ;)

BTW: whats a "football bat"?

Chickie said...

GinaMonster - I just can't hardly stand to look at the back. It is hideous.

Bekah, R.Fuel & Mike - We can get fired for using the parking spots if we don't have a special pass saying that we're pregnant.

MCB - We're going to wait awhile before we go for it. But, we have decided that we'll have kids - someday.

If you ever see football bat, the first thing you'll notice is that it's fucked up.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

That is amazing to hear about Parking spaces for pregnant women and laxtatioin rooms at work! Times have sure changed, haven't they?

bekah said...

Chickie - How about I pee on a stick and mail it to you and you can take it into your bosses office and say, "ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?"

I also think that there's a law suit waiting to happen by threatening to fire you if you park there. I'd find a lawyer friend and mention to them. It's got to be illegal in some form or another.

The Phosgene Kid said...

What would possess a guy to wax anything beyond his car?

bekah said...

Phosgene kid - I do think that the fact that without the waxing he might not get the poonanie, so that might've been what possessed him. Possessed by the poonanie.

Chickie said...

OOLOTH - They sure have!

Bekah - Eh, I like to fly under the radar so I'll just walk from the far corners of the parking lot into the building.

The Phosgene Kid - I like things smooth and thought this would be a nice thing to do. I was wrong.

Bekah - I think you are right.

Michael said...

Hey Chickie,
Thanks for stopping by to check on me the other day. Life is kind of kicking my ass right now, but I hope to be back soon. Sounds like I've missed a lot around here; can't wait to catch up.

Cissy Strutt said...

I like the way you are leaping around the grid at 25 peeps - I never know where I'll be clicking you.

Chickie said...

Michael - Hey, glad to see that you're still kicking! I was worried.

Cissy Strutt - I like to keep people guessing :)