Vagisil. I don't think I could buy any of that. Even if my coochie burned like 1000 ants had bitten it. The name is just too off-putting. If I ever really need some, I think I'll shoplift it.

I love orange Tic-Tacs. They taste the best if you buy a box and then forget about them for a few weeks so they're kind of chewy when you eat them. I got a box for Christmas once and forgot about them for 4 years. When I found them I thought "Wow, these have REALLY aged! I'll bet they taste great!" I discovered something after waiting all day long to settle down and eat my delicacy while I read a book - four year old Tic-Tacs taste like shit with orange zest in it. I was really bummed that they didn't taste fantastic. I guess Tic-Tacs don't age well like cheese or wine.

My sister's husband is in the military and is going to be stationed in either Alaska or Georgia for about the next year. If they go to Georgia my fantastic little niece will only be about 4 hours away! If they go to Alaska, I will become Chi Chi's caretaker. She's just too old to live somewhere that the weather is 68 below zero.

I'm been hankering for another Chihuahua and Chi Chi isn't quite what I had in mind but she'll do. I wanted a little puppy that was bald and that I could pet all of the time. Chi Chi meets that criteria but she is also senile or suffering from a bit of doggy dementia. I think as long as I kept giving Tiny attention that she'll be okay with an addition. And if not, at least she doesn't have thumbs. Without those, I don't think she'd be able to set fire to the house or do anything too bad to me in retaliation.


Joey Polanski said...

Dont they make stuff calld "Cool Coochie" or sompm?

The Phosgene Kid said...

Try buying rubbers when you have to ask the elderly lady behind the counter who reminds you of your grandma to fetch you a pack.

Regal said...

I always wonder why somebody would buy Monistat 7 when you could buy Monistat 1 and get rid of that "nasty" in one day versus 7!

Chickie said...

Joey Polanski - I don't think there's a big market for Cool Coochie. Don't you guys like those things to be hot?

The Phosgene Kid - No thank you. It would be worth driving to another town if that was the kind of place that you were buying them in!

Regal - I hear you! I don't even know why they sell that 7 day stuff!

Joey Polanski said...

Yeah. We like it hot.

But not wit 1,000 ants on it.

Mike said...

Vagisil sounds like something you would name Vagina in a can...assuming, of course there was such a thing. There isn't, right? I mean I am not missing out on anything am I?

jedimacfan said...

You can always try Valvoline.

Chickie said...

Joey Polanski - I'd think that ants would add an extra bit of danger and excitement.

Mike - You can find it in a bottle.

JediMacFan - True. And that would be so much less embarrassing to purchase. I wonder how many miles to the gallon I could get with it?