Driving Sucks Herpe Infested Donkey Balls

We're back. Woo.

What a long drive. I swear, if I NEVER see Tennessee or Kentucky again, it will be too soon. Sweety drove the first part of the trip and it was my turn to drive in Tennessee. In the dark. With a light rain. Through the mountains. And surrounded by semi trucks. If I could have relaxed, I'd have shit my pants. It was the most nerve wracking 3 or 4 hours of my life. I know that Sweety wasn't able to sleep too much while I drove due to the fact I was continually stepping on the brakes. When I first got behind the wheel, we drove over a huge hill (mountain?). It was so steep that you couldn't see which way it was turning or if it went straight down. That pretty much set the tone for the leg of the trip.

When you're driving while sleep deprived, it is hard to explain to your Sweety why you are laughing like a loon at the idea of steering your car into a swamp in Louisiana. Picturing my little car flipping through the air really tickled me. He elected to drive soon after that.

And if you are a passenger, it is hard to convey the comedy that is derived from imagining whapping the driver across the head with your foot. That one got me to giggling so hard that I couldn't breathe and when I explained to Sweety why I was laughing - he didn't get it.

My sister watched the canines while we were gone and Tiny Dog really showed what a shithead she is. (Tiny. Not my sister.) She snapped at a kid and whenever she was on the couch with my sister, if anyone or any animal tried to sit on the couch too - she would attack them. Thanks, Tiny. Next time I'll leave you in my bathroom with the neighborgirl coming over to check on you occasionally if this is how you're going to act when you're a guest somewhere.

Oh! Let me tell you what some asshole said about my Mother. My stepdad was teasing his 19-20 year old nephew and said something along the lines of, "Everyone says we look alike so hope you have good luck with the ladies!" and his dad (my stepdad's sister's husband) says, "Yeah, look at you! You're married to an old, Korean woman!" and his son (the nephew) pipes up with, "And she can't even speak English very well!" What.The.Fuck? How rude is that? My Mom is a freaking saint. She took care of her mother-in-law during the last months of her life. Where the hell was asshole brother-in-law when that was going on? And to be raising a son who could come up with such a snappy add-on of the "doesn't speak English" comment? I told my stepdad that if he'd give me their address that some chocolate dipped Tiny Dog turds would be mailed but he elected to send a letter to them instead letting them know what he thinks.

I must go to bed and try not to think about going to work tomorrow.