The Cruelty!

As you may know, I like to cry at Mama's bedside at night. I think I deserve to sleep in the bed too, dammit! Why should I have to sleep with my head in Stinky's crotch all of the time? Agh, I digress...

Mama has figured out a way to get me to fall asleep in my own bed. She gives me a cookie. Not just any cookie! Oh, no! Not a soft, tasty cookie that I could eat quickly and then go on with my life. This cookie smells good but it is really hard. I am lazy and don't like to chew on treats. Give me instant gratification!




Even though I'm not going to eat it, it doesn't mean that I will give my cookie away. I will fall asleep sitting up guarding it. The next morning, Mama takes it out of my cage and gives it to Stinky Dog. Can you believe that shit? Bitch.

Make Up Your Own Title

Have you ever had something you'd like to blog about but didn't because you were obsessing over it and who really wants to listen to the blatherings of an insane person? Nah, me neither. Gah, just typing that sentence made me think about it again.

I shall take a moment to think happy thoughts.
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Okay. Better. Now I will talk about stupid shit to take my mind of off the fact I will have to speak to a bunch of people about personal things in a week. Hey, on the bright side - by this time next week it will be over. Hopefully, it will be all over. Or maybe a new phase will begin that will make this one look like a cake walk. Damn, where was I? Oh yeah. Stupid, fluffbally things...

Our cable service has been acting up so yesterday the repairman came out. Tiny Dog saw him as an immediate threat and wouldn't stop trying to lick him to death so I stuck her in the bathroom. After 15 minutes of listening to her shrieks coming from under the crack in the door (she had her face pressed up against it so hard that I could see the tip of her nose smooshed under the door crack), I couldn't take it and started thinking of where else could I put her. I remembered that once she got in a cabinet on accident and was so afraid of the dark (or whatever) that she didn't bark. I found her there, as still as a statue about 45 minutes later when I was looking for something. I didn't want to stick her in the pantry with witnesses company in the house. I popped her into the closet in LB's room instead.

For the first several minutes all I heard was a pitiful "meep - meep!" from the room but after a bit she began her regular scream. About 20 minutes after that began, she fell silent. "Good. The little bitch has learned who is boss and she's going to shut up til I let her out!", I thought. Ha-freaking-ha. After the repairman left, I opened LB's door to see that Tiny had slammed her body into the door hard enough to shove it open. (The doors don't have latches. They're two small doors with a hinge in the middle and you slide them open.) Once out, she celebrated freedom by finding LB's Easter basket and eating a package of chewing gum. It was a full package and she ingested 2 pieces. As soon as I opened the door, she hauled ass out of the bedroom and hid under the couch. I couldn't really scold her for eating the gum since I had tried to lock her in a closet. I figured since she managed to escape that the gum could be considered the spoils of victory.

I guess dogs are kind of like kids. You should check on them if they suddenly become quiet.

LB gets in my car after he gets out of school and I notice he's all red in the face.

Hey, kiddo! How was your day?

Fine. (in a sullen voice)

That's good. Did anything interesting happen today.

No. (in the same tone) Mom came to tell me hi by the flagpole when she was leaving with all of those kids. (LittleBrother's job after school is to take the flag down. It's usually him and a few other people.)

Well that's nice that you saw her.

But she had all of those kids with her. (Her own other 2 kids and 2 of her stepkids) They were all there. And lots of kids from my class were standing around.

Oh.

They were all there! All of those little kids were with her!

Um, I'm only asking this because you seem a bit flustered. Did that embarrass you or bother you?

Uh-huh. I don't know why she had *insert stepdad's name* kids with her. I thought she picked them up after coming to school to pick up my brother (LB's half-brother that she sends to LB's school out of convenience).

I didn't really know what to say to him. I told him that I was sorry that he was embarrassed and that if I ever do anything to embarrass him that he can tell me and I won't get upset. Should I have said something to defend his mother? I've never said anything bad about his mom in front of him but then again, I've never said anything really good about her either. I just try to not talk about her with the boys.

I can understand where he's coming from. His mom, all of a sudden, introduces him and his 3 siblings to some guy and his 3 kids and they're all supposed to be one big happy family. It probably doesn't help that she was dressed like a disorganized hoochie-mama today and all 4 of the kids she was towing were waving sticks around like loons. It's better that I didn't say anything to try and defend her because it wouldn't have sounded sincere.

There have been a couple of instances in the past couple of weeks where she wasn't able to attend an extracurricular activity of LB's because she had something to do with her new husband and his kids or she had to leave early because of the other kids. I don't think she realizes how the choices she makes effects LB and BB. She told Sweety that she had made previous commitments. Didn't she make a commitment to LB and BB when she squirted them out?

Before Easter, my niece (Sylvie-almost 9 y.o.) told her mom (my sister) that she knew that the Easter Bunny wasn't real. So my sister did not have the E.B. visit the house on Easter morning. Sylvie got a cell phone on that day as an early birthday present (her bday is next week) and called me on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday and talked about how the E.B. came to everyone's house but hers. On Sunday she told me that maybe he wasn't allowed on base (they live on the military base) and during the other phone calls she said she looked out of her windows and saw eggs in everyone's backyard but hers so he had clearance to get on the base. Maybe he didn't know where she lived?

I said something to my sister about this yesterday and she was surprised because Sylvie hadn't said anything to her about it. She asked my niece why she didn't mention that the E.B. didn't come by and said that Sylvie should write him a letter. My sister is going to give the letter a few days to reach him in the mail and then E.B. will visit my niece. Poor niece.

Mike has been feeling a bit punky and he said that his doctor said that pictures of boobs might help him get well sooner. If he would put that on the internet then it must be true, right? So, for purely medicinal purposes, here are mine. That link is not safe for work.

Driving Sucks Herpe Infested Donkey Balls

We're back. Woo.

What a long drive. I swear, if I NEVER see Tennessee or Kentucky again, it will be too soon. Sweety drove the first part of the trip and it was my turn to drive in Tennessee. In the dark. With a light rain. Through the mountains. And surrounded by semi trucks. If I could have relaxed, I'd have shit my pants. It was the most nerve wracking 3 or 4 hours of my life. I know that Sweety wasn't able to sleep too much while I drove due to the fact I was continually stepping on the brakes. When I first got behind the wheel, we drove over a huge hill (mountain?). It was so steep that you couldn't see which way it was turning or if it went straight down. That pretty much set the tone for the leg of the trip.

When you're driving while sleep deprived, it is hard to explain to your Sweety why you are laughing like a loon at the idea of steering your car into a swamp in Louisiana. Picturing my little car flipping through the air really tickled me. He elected to drive soon after that.

And if you are a passenger, it is hard to convey the comedy that is derived from imagining whapping the driver across the head with your foot. That one got me to giggling so hard that I couldn't breathe and when I explained to Sweety why I was laughing - he didn't get it.

My sister watched the canines while we were gone and Tiny Dog really showed what a shithead she is. (Tiny. Not my sister.) She snapped at a kid and whenever she was on the couch with my sister, if anyone or any animal tried to sit on the couch too - she would attack them. Thanks, Tiny. Next time I'll leave you in my bathroom with the neighborgirl coming over to check on you occasionally if this is how you're going to act when you're a guest somewhere.

Oh! Let me tell you what some asshole said about my Mother. My stepdad was teasing his 19-20 year old nephew and said something along the lines of, "Everyone says we look alike so hope you have good luck with the ladies!" and his dad (my stepdad's sister's husband) says, "Yeah, look at you! You're married to an old, Korean woman!" and his son (the nephew) pipes up with, "And she can't even speak English very well!" What.The.Fuck? How rude is that? My Mom is a freaking saint. She took care of her mother-in-law during the last months of her life. Where the hell was asshole brother-in-law when that was going on? And to be raising a son who could come up with such a snappy add-on of the "doesn't speak English" comment? I told my stepdad that if he'd give me their address that some chocolate dipped Tiny Dog turds would be mailed but he elected to send a letter to them instead letting them know what he thinks.

I must go to bed and try not to think about going to work tomorrow.

Revelations

I have seen the light and it is the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser! I'd heard of it before but figured that something couldn't work as well as what was being said. My sister was extolling its virtues yesterday and I picked up a box. Holy crap, batman. I ran around and cleaned stuff that I'd never touched before just because it was so easy. My biggest accomplishment? Cleaning the wall where Stinky and Tiny sleep. There was what I thought was a permanent mark on the wall consisting of Basset hound juice and who knows what but it is now gone.

I've been trying to convert Sweety over to sleeping with earplugs in and he resisted my efforts for quite some time. Last night I pulled out a brand new package of them and told him that he had to sleep with them and he now agrees that sleeping with earplugs (especially if you have canines that want to slurp and snore) is the way to go. Good for you, Sweety! Sometimes it's okay to step outside of our comfort zone and insert things into our orifices.

We are leaving for our little 20-hour-one-way road trip in a bit. Sweety said this will make us or break us. When you are on a long car ride, can you lay the seat back and relax? It's hard for me to do because I'm afraid that as soon as I recline (and fix the seat so that the seatbelt won't hold me in), an 18-wheeler is going to slam into us from behind and I'll slide out of the seat and into the floor like a broken meat slinky.

Some Teacher's Aren't Happy With An Apple

In the comments, themom said As for what to hide in the 13yr old's Easter eggs -- hmmm. guess it's too soon for condoms right!?!?! And that reminded me of a little nugget that Sweety shared with me over the weekend.

Remember Mary Kay Letourneau? The teacher that had sex with a 13 year old student and married him after she got out of prison?

We were watching something about her on the t.v. the other night and Sweety casually mentioned that he slept with his eighth grade English teacher. He was 14 and she was 21 or 22. He said she was a freshly minted teacher. He went to parties with her and her friends and to the movies with her. When he started the ninth grade, he moved to another school and that was the end of it.

I asked him what his feelings were about the situation. (Normally, I do not want to know anything about anybody that Sweety has ever poked but this was too odd to let it go without any questions.) Did he feel like he was abused or what and his answer was no. That he remembers it as a good time.

How weird is that?

Sweety said that when he remembers his school years that the eighth grade always seems to be the one that's in color. (Really? I wonder why?) He has said before that he feels like a kid sometimes with the way he thinks and as soon as he told me about this I told him this was why. He got laid when he was 14 and his damn brain stopped functioning.

Let me mention that Sweety does not think it would be okay for his kids (or anyone else's kids) to sleep with their teacher. Sweety is really protective of where the boys go. BigBrother(13)'s teacher had a Christmas party for the kids in her class last year and it was at her house. Sweety was freaking out over whether or not he should let BB go and now I realize why. I was all, "Gee, she seems nice. What could happen to him over there?"

Aaaaagh!

I know you've heard me say it before but I'll say it again:

I hate school projects with a passion that burns brighter than 1000 suns.

There weren't this many school projects when I was in school and I turned out okay!

You may return to your regularly scheduled program.

Hey, It's Saint Patrick's Day!

I totally forgot about that til just now. Have a nice one, drink lots of green beer, blah, blah, blah.

I guess St. Patrick's Day skipped past me because Easter is coming so quickly behind it this year. The boys will be at our house on Easter and I'm all for any excuse to hide small things around the house so they are going to have quite an egg hunt that morning. I'm going to hide plastic eggs with instructions on where to find the next egg. I was going to do it outside but realized the boys would be embarrassed to run around the yard hunting eggs with the neighbors watching. (some girls live next door and they are in the same class with the boys and I know there would be resistance to hunting eggs outdoors)

Since LittleBrother(11) has taken such an interest in rough gemstones and rocks and such - each of his eggs will have a little gem or rock in it that he can stick in a rock tumbler. I suspect that we will all be carrying keychains with polished rocks on them in the near future. I don't know what will be in BigBrother(13)'s eggs. Maybe jellybeans.

My stepgrandmother passed away this weekend and Sweety and I are driving to Missouri for the funeral on Thursday. In November of 2006, they found out she had cancer and only gave her 2-3 months to live but she hung on for this long. She'd really taken a turn for the worse lately and every time my mom called me, I expected her to tell me that she'd died.

At work, you get paid bereavement days off in the event of a death in the family. I'm using those days today, Thursday and Friday and they are pushing through a vacation day for me on Sunday. We'll be on the road about 50 hours from Wednesday morning to Saturday morning and I just don't think I'll feel like going to work on Sunday.

I'm so paranoid. Now that I realize today is Saint Patrick's day, I'm afraid that work will think I cooked this up to get off for 2 holidays. A friend of mine at work actually got written up for using too much bereavement time. She's older and in the span of 3 or 6 months had 5 close relatives die.

Chi Chi is having a day where she doesn't want to eat. She's on my lap and her stomach is growling and whistling like fireworks are going off in there. When she won't eat, I pretend that she is fasting for religious purposes or testing out becoming a breatharian. I'd rather think these things than fret over the fact that she is as old as dirt and will die someday. I'm going to the pet store to get some stuff to poke down her throat so she'll be getting nutrients on days like this. It happens maybe twice a month.

I better get moving.

I Like To Help With The Dishes

Do you know what my favorite night is?

Mexican food night!

When the bipeds put their plates in the dishwasher, all kinds of goodies fall off them and on to the back of the dishwasher door. If I am quick, I can reach in and scrape all kinds of delightful stuff into my piehole. If Mama isn't paying attention, I will climb into the dishwasher.

I have faith that she will not slam the door shut and turn it on with me inside.

A Good Nap

That's Chi Chi facing me and Tiny Dog pointed away from me. Chi Chi smells good!

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

Lazy Post

I am such a slug. I did not have to take the boys to school yesterday or today and both days slept in til just before noon. And you know what? It felt good!

I hate the day or two after the Spring time change but was reminded this morning of a a reason to like it. The damn dogs sleep in later. If the sun is up when LittleBrother(11) is getting ready for school, the commotion and sunlight wakes them up and they want to stay awake and squall at the bedside until I get up. But if it's dark? Those bitches burrow under their covers and give all bipeds the hairy eyeball and go back to sleep. Love it!

Let me tell you something mean that I do. If the canines go to sleep on the couch or try to hide in their beds for a nap while Sweety and I are still awake - I wake them up. Give them a shake or lift up Stinky's ear and whisper-shriek "boo!" into it. I figure if they don't nap as much before our bedtime that they will fall asleep from exhaustion when we (bipeds) are ready for our bedtime.

Oh shit. I just got a call from Sweety and he is getting to come home early enough to pick LB up from school. I must go do some things around the house so it doesn't appear that I slept til noon. Speed clean.

In A Nutshell

BigBrother's braces came off last Friday! Yay! I took him to a movie to celebrate on Saturday. He got to eat all of the popcorn and sticky candy that he could hold.

Sweety and I fussed on Thursday and Friday over stupid things. Too stupid to waste time typing it up. I spent all day Friday trying to decide which friend's house to crash at when I decided to load up the dogs and leave this state. We made up on Saturday. It's a good thing because I hate moving.

People at work are losing their fucking minds. The lady that sits next to me had a bit of a nervous breakdown yesterday morning and had to leave. That afternoon, a couple of other people on the team got into a shouting match. I fully expect someone to come in someday with some sort of automatic weapon and start shooting up the place. I'm thinking of moving to another seat that would provide more coverage if I needed to hide under it during a bullet storm. I'm. Not. Kidding.

The dogs are making us crazy. Stinky Dog has taken to slurping on her toes and smacking her lips excessively when it is bedtime. Sunday night, I ended up taking all of the furry bitches to sleep with me on the couch so Sweety could go to sleep because they were being so loud. He couldn't get to sleep while listening to Stinky's slurps, Chi Chi's foghorn snore and Tiny Dog digging at her blanket. I said to Stinky as we were walking out of the bedroom, "I hope you have a good night, you fucking idiot." and Sweety thought I was talking to him. He told me later that he laid awake in bed for 2 hours, amazed that I was nervy enough to say such a thing. As soon as the dog parade and I got into the living room, Stinky knew that she was going to sleep on the couch with me and started tap dancing all over the place. I swear that she was smiling. I get on the couch with her and she puts her head down on my legs and goes right to sleep. No licking or slurping or anything. And she starts to snore loud enough to shake the couch. Chi Chi was on the floor and I realized that the senile bitch had gotten up and was barking at our bedroom door. I leapt off the couch to get her before Sweety could get out of bed and stomp her into oblivion. Put her on the couch with the rest of us and she curled up on my chest and fell asleep and started an earth shaking snore in rhythm to Stinky's. I didn't get a lot of sleep that night. But when I did get to sleep - I woke up promptly with cramps in both of my legs from the contorted position I was in. I walked in circles in the living room for about 45 minutes. Until Sweety got up at 4:30 to go to work.

Have you heard of Avon Instant Pedicure Strips? A chick at work sells the stuff and I bought some. Did my toes on Saturday night. They don't look the greatest if you get right up on them, but from where my eyes are (about 5 feet 8 inches away) they don't look too bad. Better than naked toes. I did get some of the stuff stuck on my skin but you can use an orange stick (well, I don't have an orange stick so I used a shish-k-bob skewer) to smooth between your skin and nail and the polish strip peels right off of your skin. It wasn't as much fun as getting a pedicure by some pretty girl with a low-cut blouse but it was cheaper.

A Shiny New Day

Hey there. Thank you to everyone that commented on yesterday's post. (themom's mention of "at least they can't eat me" was one that I hadn't thought of before but I like it! And the anonymous comment about the serenity saying was good. It would be better to say that to myself than the "CALM DOWN, CRAZY!" that I mentally scream to myself.) I'm typing this as I wait for LittleBrother(11) to get out of school and I may reply to the comments individually later or I might not. I'm going to try and ignore yesterday. At any rate, you are all a great bunch of friends. Today is going well. I have completed all of this paperwork where all sorts of nosy questions were asked and now that the spilling of my guts to strangers is done and in the mailbox, I feel better. There's nothing else that can be asked of me at this point. I'll be glad when it's all over and done with so I can tell you all about it fully. Until then, I will keep taking my 1/2 pill a day to keep me from wigging out. Thank goodness for medication.

Naomi has mentioned Primal Therapy before. I don't have my own padded room, so I've been screaming my guts out when the urge strikes while alone in the car. I think it helps.

I got some stripper nails yesterday to cheer myself. Usually I have a french manicure done but decided to go crazy since I needed a brand new set of nails. The nail tips are clear and it looks like there are tiny mirrors embedded in them. I knew that Sweety would be appalled at my new nails, so I kept my hands hidden for as long as I could. He was on the phone with someone when he noticed them and said something along the lines of what the hell happened to your fingers. They were hard to get used to because they are a lot longer than I normally have them. At bedtime, Sweety decided that he didn't care what the nails looked like because he thoroughly enjoyed the new length. Isn't it nice how if you can link something to good sex that it can generally be forgiven?

Maybe if I give Sweety the best blowjob of his life with Tiny Dog sitting on my pillow, he will welcome her sleeping in our bed? It is worth trying.

I had to get some more spray to put on Stinky Dog to keep her from nibbling. I'd been using the same stuff for a couple of years and I knew that it tastes nasty enough to keep her from licking but there was some new stuff at the pet store and it looked like it might be good. I was afraid it wouldn't taste bad enough though, so I discreetly unscrewed the lid and stuck my finger in and licked it. And immediately started drooling all over the place like a rabid dog. It passed the nasty taste test and was purchased for Stinky's licking pleasure. I had to wait for the drooling to stop before I could go pay for it.

I must go clean our bathroom before the dust bunnies and dog slobber bands together to start a new race that would overtake us all.

Grouchybutt

I'm having a rough time in my head. I know that I talk about a lot of stuff here, but in real life, I'm pretty private. I don't like people to know my business. Not because I have anything to hide, I just don't. Some lovely legal things are coming to a head and I'm having to deal with them now and it is making me crazy. I don't like telling strangers personal things. Records? You wanna know things about me that happened up to 10 years ago? Holy, shit. I can't tell you what I had for breakfast yesterday.

Stressing out over this (and I know I have nothing to worry about, Sweety! i am just speaking the truth but I can't help but be a worrywart!) and loathing going to work have worked together to make me a wreck. I love laying in bed right after I wake up and realizing that The Panic has a grip on me and it feels like a big hand is squeezing my heart and the only way I can breathe is to pant through my mouth and it takes all I have to not crawl into the bathroom and try to hide behind the toilet or under the sink. Sleep? Who needs sleep? Not me! I need nightmares! That's what I need! And to wake up because I'm clenching my jaw so tightly that it hurts and when I stick my thumb in my mouth to break the clench and go back to sleep - I wake up because I'm trying to gnaw my thumb off. Sometimes The Panic sneaks up on me in the middle of the day. I don't think that one should have to concentrate so much on the simple act of breathing. And yes, I am medicated but I don't want to change doses on anything because my medical records are open to the world right now and it is not anyone else's fucking business that I'm temporarily insane. This should all pass in a few months. I can hang in here til then.

Sweety has told me that he knows me well enough to understand how I'm feeling. He does not. He says it's all in my head and that I just need to not worry. Well, yes. No shit. I'm not disputing that. My mental discomfort is manifesting itself in physical ways. He said that my stress is starting to stress him out. I'm sorry. I'll try to tamp it down. Does he think I like worrying about and talking about the same shit that's bugging me over and over? I do not. I know that it bugs him to see me freaking out over nothing. I know that it bugs him to see me eat pills to keep me from freaking out over nothing. And I do not like it, if I am being particularly calm, if you ask if I've had a pill. Why does it matter? Would you rather I didn't eat the pill and rip your throat out with my teeth because I don't like the way you said, "How was your day?".

Sweety has been going out of his way (despite my ranting) to try and help me but there really isn't anything that he can do. I'm just going to have to tie a knot in the end of my rope and hang on.

Gah. I'd like to sit down and eat a whole pot of macaroni and cheese and wash it down with a big glass of sweet tea. And toast. A half loaf of toast would be nice too.

Let's switch gears.

BigBrother(13)'s braces will be removed on Friday and he had to go to the orthodontist today. I've taken him out of school before but when I got to the school, they didn't have my name listed as a contact. Last year, we filled out a contact form and this year, instead of having us fill out a new one, someone at the school typed up a new one for us using the info off of last year's and they left my name off. My phone number was there but not my name. I told the receptionist if she had access to last year's form and looked at it, she would see that my name was on it. She laughed and said that she would not dig for last year's form. She called Sweety and got his permission for me to take BB out of school. The school had also taken the mother's name off of the form so if the COAEW had to get BB from school, Sweety would have to be called first. I have a new form to fill out and return tomorrow. It just annoyed me that it was someone at the school that left information off and she didn't want to find the previous contact form that we had filled out.

Poor Chi Chi. She didn't eat breakfast or dinner on Sunday and she puked her guts out that night. I woke and could tell that the sound she was making wasn't her usual snore. I got her a new blanket and tucked her back in and the next morning she ate her food. Do dog's catch stomach viruses? Maybe that's what she had. She hasn't missed a meal since then. Every now and then, she won't eat and I always freak out because I think she's getting ready to die. She'd never vomited before though. So until she ate the next morning, I was thinking her kidneys were failing or something. I will admit that I actually sniffed her puke to see if it had some sort of odor that I could google to see if it was a sign of something but it didn't smell.

Did you all just hear that? It was my enormous sigh of relief. It's about 8:20 p.m. and I managed to get a bunch of things done today that were stressing me out. Tomorrow should be a good day. I'm going to vegetate with my Sweety.

Hola!

Yesterday's trip to the lake with Chi Chi was a success. She thoroughly enjoyed the good grass and the sunshine. Instead of going to a restaurant afterwards, we went to a doggy boutique where attention was lavished on her and treats were purchased.


We were the only people there for awhile and I noticed that about a half dozen large birds were circling the downtown area and I wondered what was dead there that they might be looking at. About 20 minutes later, I noticed that the birds had moved and were circling us and I wondered what they had their beady little eyes on. When it occurred to me that they might be eyeballing Chi Chi, we packed up and moved out of there.

I took the Chichister home and then went to Sweety's work to meet him for lunch.

You know, I think everyone is entitled to their opinion but when you are eating in a public place, it would be nice if you didn't talk loudly enough to subject everyone to it. There was a lady sitting behind us that did not shut up the entire time we were there. She was telling her companions all about the email she got that told her how unpatriotic Barack Obama is so it must be true! It was so hard to not turn around and say, "Shut up." She had all kinds of stories to tell because she knew someone "high up in the military".

At one point right after she'd said something stupid loudly and Sweety could see that my head was fixing to pop - Sweety loudly states, "Hey! Do you know what I saw on the news last night? There was this guy, Jack and he had a cow to sell! And on his way to the market - someone gave him magic beans for his cow! Can you believe it? Magic beans!" One of the guys sitting with loud lady looked at Sweety and just died laughing.

Let me tell you something else that I don't like. I don't like a smarmy 13 year old telling me who he feels would and would not be a good president based upon what he heard was on the internet. Kid didn't actually read it on the internet himself but heard it was on the internet. His quote was, "If it's on the internet it must be true!". Sweet, tiny, not old enough to vote yet, baby Jesus. Needless to say, BigBrother(13) and I had quite a conversation. He now knows my stance on abortion and gay marriage and I don't think he was pleased with it. At one point he asked me, "Does Dad know who you want to be president?". I told him yes but that just because you're married doesn't mean you have to have the same political views.

See those shot glasses? They are double shot glasses and I purchased them at the neighbor's tupperware-type party a couple of weeks ago. Aren't they pretty? I learned last night that the way to not drink tequila is with double shot glasses. Before you know it, you and your Sweety will have drank the whole freaking bottle. Oddly enough, I didn't have a hangover today. It had been months since I'd drank any of that and fully expected to feel like hammered shit today. It kind of weirds me out that I didn't. I don't think we will buy anymore tequila.

*blink *blink*

Reminders to self:

Crazy cunt that we ate dinner behind.

Gratuitous Chi Chi The Motherfucking Magnificent Photos

Oy....Baby Oy....Why do you snore so loud and why is my phone so far away to set the alarm? Damn. I love my tiny dog.

BLINK!