Only 3.5 hours into the 2007 run and I can see that this year will whip last year's ass!
Right after they went to bed, LittleBrother woke with stomach rumblings and decided to take a shower. While in there, he yakked enough to clog the drain. Then BigBrother woke up by yakking a large quantity of something (lung bits? spleen?) in his bed. Both boys have had 2 showers each tonight and there is no hot water at the moment. Yay.
I will be home with 2 exploding children tomorrow. Yay.
Please, sweet baby Jesus who has never vomited a day in his life on his golden robes, take this AWAY!
In between vomit sessions, the boys mentioned that their mother has been sick and puking too. A courtesy call to let us know that the Plague was on its way to our house would have been kind. We could have purchased appropriate attire for the festivities.
She did call and leave Sweety a message earlier today asking if BB could come and babysit for her on Wednesday night so she can get her hair done though. Oh, and she also called BB's phone at 10:30 p.m. because she didn't know how to run her cable box and thought that he could help her. Doesn't she know they have, oh, I dunno...bedtimes? Sweety answered the phone and let her know that they were already asleep and he told her that it was pretty self explanatory to fix the cable - just follow the directions that show up on the t.v. screen. He's calling her back tomorrow to tell her that BB won't be babysitting for her on Wednesday.
I'm gonna see if we have any hot water yet. Then I'm going to sniff some bleach to get the vomit odor out of my nose.
5/29/07
5/28/07
Blech.
BigBrother barfed his guts out while ago. Tiny dog helped to clean up. Just so you know, I'm not such a sick fuck that I took the photos - Sweety did that.
We finally had to lock her in the bathroom so we could get the mess cleaned up. She was highly pissed off to be taken away from such a delicious snack.
Click on the photos to see the biggest puke splatter ever. I swear, the kid yakked out at least a half gallon of stuff. He'd told Sweety that his stomach hurt so Sweety made him eat some baking soda dissolved in water. It was like setting off one of those volcanos that you make in grade school for the science fair. I'm glad that BB's head didn't pop off from all of the pressure.
>
It was very upsetting to me to have Tiny snap at me when I went in to drag her away from the feast. She acts like we don't feed her or something.
We finally had to lock her in the bathroom so we could get the mess cleaned up. She was highly pissed off to be taken away from such a delicious snack.
Click on the photos to see the biggest puke splatter ever. I swear, the kid yakked out at least a half gallon of stuff. He'd told Sweety that his stomach hurt so Sweety made him eat some baking soda dissolved in water. It was like setting off one of those volcanos that you make in grade school for the science fair. I'm glad that BB's head didn't pop off from all of the pressure.
>
It was very upsetting to me to have Tiny snap at me when I went in to drag her away from the feast. She acts like we don't feed her or something.
In Lieu of a Real Post...
You can scroll over the photos for the captions that I have so lovingly created for them or you can see the slideshow here.
I'll have a bit up about our trip in a day or so. Unfortunately, the tale will not include hookers. Do you know how much one was? $1000 for 30-freaking-minutes! That coochie better be lined with platinum for that kind of money!
I'll have a bit up about our trip in a day or so. Unfortunately, the tale will not include hookers. Do you know how much one was? $1000 for 30-freaking-minutes! That coochie better be lined with platinum for that kind of money!
5/24/07
Greetings From Reno!
I like it here. I could totally live my entire life in a casino. So far, I've lost $60 in penny and quarter slots. Normally, I don't play slots but the pretty lights drew me in and ate part of my brain yesterday. Sweety put $5 in a penny slot and won $263. I has sat down at that machine but gave it to him because he wanted it. I'm such an unlucky person that it probably wouldn't have hit for me. Tonight or tomorrow, I will make my fortune at the blackjack tables!
Came all this way toting my cell phone and laptop and forgot the damn power cables for both of them. So I'm doing this at a hotel computer kiosk. I sold something on eBay for the first time and the auction ended Tuesday night and the buyer paid for it yesterday. I needed to log on to send him an email letting him know his stuff wouldn't be mailed til Monday. I sold some workboots and toted those with me here to mail but realize that it would be a huge pain in the ass to find a post office and mail them. I told the buyer that I'll still send them by priority mail and I'm refunding the shipping portion of his payment. I hope he doesn't leave bad feedback for me.
I learned yesterday that 2 all-you-can-eat buffets in one day is too much for my system. I damn near died.
The elevation here combined with the airplane ride have wreaked havoc on my sinuses. I was doing something nice for Sweety last night and my nose ran all over his stomach. It was dark so I just let him think that it was something else.
I better go before this damn machine charges me any more money. I'll holler at you all on Monday!
Came all this way toting my cell phone and laptop and forgot the damn power cables for both of them. So I'm doing this at a hotel computer kiosk. I sold something on eBay for the first time and the auction ended Tuesday night and the buyer paid for it yesterday. I needed to log on to send him an email letting him know his stuff wouldn't be mailed til Monday. I sold some workboots and toted those with me here to mail but realize that it would be a huge pain in the ass to find a post office and mail them. I told the buyer that I'll still send them by priority mail and I'm refunding the shipping portion of his payment. I hope he doesn't leave bad feedback for me.
I learned yesterday that 2 all-you-can-eat buffets in one day is too much for my system. I damn near died.
The elevation here combined with the airplane ride have wreaked havoc on my sinuses. I was doing something nice for Sweety last night and my nose ran all over his stomach. It was dark so I just let him think that it was something else.
I better go before this damn machine charges me any more money. I'll holler at you all on Monday!
5/22/07
Effing Looney
I'm pretty sure that I'm crazy as a bat. (phrase "crazy as a bat" shamelessly borrowed from Mike & Carmen) I think that the fact that I know that I am means that I'm not too far off though (nice. 4 "that's" in one sentence.) At work last night, I freaked the fuck out. Have you ever been hit with a huge guilty/ashamed sort of feeling? I was sitting at my desk, making a list of things that I need for our trip and one of the things that I put on the list was "small empty bottles for lotion & soap". And I got all excited about buying shiny, new, little bottles. And then I felt like a moron for being excited over something like that. That's when the guilty/ashamed feeling assaulted me. I had to step away from my desk and calm down before I freaked out. What the hell? I think this vacation is coming just in time.
This morning my alarm went off at 7 a.m. and I looked at it and thought, "Hey, Sweety's taking LittleBrother to school so I can sleep for another hour before taking BigBrother! Yay!" and reset my alarm for 8 a.m. At 7:27 LB is shaking me wanting to know if I was taking him to school. Oh, shit. He has to be there by 7:50 and got there in plenty of time but I feel horrible that we overslept. He needed to be there by 7:30 to help raise the flags and missed that deadline. When we got there, some kids had raised the American flag but hadn't raised the state flag yet so he didn't totally miss out on the flag raising ceremony. I've been toting them to school for almost 6 years now and this is the first time that I've overslept but I still feel bad about it.
The oversleeping was probably due to the fact that I was up much too late last night. Decided to give myself a manicure/pedicure at around midnight last night and couldn't go to bed til my nails were dry. I fell asleep on the couch around 2 and when I woke up a bit after 3, I didn't know where I was and about broke my leg when I got off the couch. It felt like my knee went backwards instead of forward and that caused me to bump off all the furniture in the living room like a junebug.
Oh, and then after I bumble my way into the bed at 3:30 a.m. I get this conversation from Sweety:
Oh, lemme tell you something dumb I did last night. I get out of the shower and take my lotion bottle outside so I can smooth up myself while I wait for the dogs to potty before bed. We don't have any lights on out there and I can't see anything. I'm also naked as the day is long so I feel a little vulnerable. I lean over to lotion my leg and all of a sudden I smell men's cologne really strong. I think I must be imagining things so I lean back over and get another whiff of some sort of manly aftershave. I start to freak out because I know that Sweety is asleep so this must mean that I am fixing to be abducted out of the backyard by some guy who has doused himself in cologne. I'm still trying to be calm and I lean back over to get the lotion bottle while I gather my wits. That's when I realize that the smell is radiating from my armpits. I was out of deodorant and used some of Sweety's. Crisis averted.
I must go. I have 2 hours to bathe the canines, pack for the trip before we leave today and take a bath. Procrastination is my middle name.
This morning my alarm went off at 7 a.m. and I looked at it and thought, "Hey, Sweety's taking LittleBrother to school so I can sleep for another hour before taking BigBrother! Yay!" and reset my alarm for 8 a.m. At 7:27 LB is shaking me wanting to know if I was taking him to school. Oh, shit. He has to be there by 7:50 and got there in plenty of time but I feel horrible that we overslept. He needed to be there by 7:30 to help raise the flags and missed that deadline. When we got there, some kids had raised the American flag but hadn't raised the state flag yet so he didn't totally miss out on the flag raising ceremony. I've been toting them to school for almost 6 years now and this is the first time that I've overslept but I still feel bad about it.
The oversleeping was probably due to the fact that I was up much too late last night. Decided to give myself a manicure/pedicure at around midnight last night and couldn't go to bed til my nails were dry. I fell asleep on the couch around 2 and when I woke up a bit after 3, I didn't know where I was and about broke my leg when I got off the couch. It felt like my knee went backwards instead of forward and that caused me to bump off all the furniture in the living room like a junebug.
Oh, and then after I bumble my way into the bed at 3:30 a.m. I get this conversation from Sweety:
You don't like me. You don't cook for me. You didn't kiss me goodnight. You don't respect me. And that shit is going to change.So, even though he was asleep when we had this conversation, I think he means it. I'm going to try and be nicer to him. I think I have been a wee bit neglectful in regards to him. I think a few days of hotel sex should get him right back were he needs to be.
What. The. Fuck. Are you talking about? You have obviously lost your damn mind. *busily rifling around for something on my side of the bed to brain him with it*
(now he's using a fake television commercial announcer's voice, those voices that they use when they're telling you the side effects of a drug. speaking really low and fast) Please take everything that is said with a grain of salt. Certain rules apply to the salt. It must be no bigger than a grain of sand and is nonrefundable.
Oh, lemme tell you something dumb I did last night. I get out of the shower and take my lotion bottle outside so I can smooth up myself while I wait for the dogs to potty before bed. We don't have any lights on out there and I can't see anything. I'm also naked as the day is long so I feel a little vulnerable. I lean over to lotion my leg and all of a sudden I smell men's cologne really strong. I think I must be imagining things so I lean back over and get another whiff of some sort of manly aftershave. I start to freak out because I know that Sweety is asleep so this must mean that I am fixing to be abducted out of the backyard by some guy who has doused himself in cologne. I'm still trying to be calm and I lean back over to get the lotion bottle while I gather my wits. That's when I realize that the smell is radiating from my armpits. I was out of deodorant and used some of Sweety's. Crisis averted.
I must go. I have 2 hours to bathe the canines, pack for the trip before we leave today and take a bath. Procrastination is my middle name.
5/19/07
Hi, Internet!
I've been feeling puny the last few days. Super tired for some reason. Much
of my time has been spent getting through the day so I can go to sleep.
LittleBrother had a field trip Thursday and I chaperoned. (Yeah, 3 days after telling Sweety that I wasn't to be alone with the boys, the cuntofanexwife called him to see if I could chaperone a field trip.) It was pretty neat. There were dolphins, manatees and stingrays all in the water that we floated around in and on the boat trip we also got to see a rookery. I'll bet there were at least 200 birds nesting on that island. It did not smell nice. Seeing all of those birds made me think of Thomas and JediMacFan and made me glad that they weren't chaperoning. I don't think their minds could have handled all the feathers. LB thanked me a few times for coming and I'm glad that he was glad that I was there. I know that it won't be too long before he doesn't want anything to do with his parental figures. Isn't that what happens with kids? Well, I figure that's what's gonna happen so I nose in on their activities whenever they want me to.
On Wednesday we were going out to eat and LB says to me "Hey, you could take me to my Mom's house after the field trip tomorrow since you'll already be at the school with me. So she doesn't have to come to the school." My reply, "No. No, I don't think so. Your Mom's new house is too far out of my way so I don't think I'll be swinging you by there." I tried to keep the bitchy out of my voice but I think some seeped out. And it just got really quiet in the car. I wanted to say something along the lines of, "I'm never doing anything to help your ungrateful bitch of a mother again." but I did not. She just moved into a new rental last week and it's not as conveniently located to us as her last place was. I've already let Sweety know that I will not be taking the boys to her house on Thursdays when I'm on my way to work. It would be a good 30 minutes out of my way and I'm done going out of my way for her. Sweety can take them by there whenever he goes to work (be it 5 a.m. or 8 a.m.) or she can come to our house and get them.
I am so freaking ready to go to Reno next week! No dogs! I'm gonna have no dogs for 5 days! No getting up in the middle of the night to let them out to squirt out 3 drops of piss or having Stinky dog bark at me for half an hour while I try to figure out what she wants. Eh, I'm probably going to miss them by day two. But maybe not. It's going to be nice to not be responsible for anybody else for a few days.
We saw Spiderman 3 today and walked around the mall a bit. It is so freaking hot here already. I'm glad that I'm not a boy and have to deal with testicles. I bet that a sweaty nutsack is a real pain to deal with. Don't they get chapped or something? Nutsack. I like that word.
A friend of mine (She is my exhusband's aunt but we're still friends.) had really been on my mind the past few days. I started calling her Thursday before last and we kept playing phone tag. I don't know why but I'd just been feeling really blue and wanted to talk to her. Just the sound of her voice on my voicemail made me feel sad and weepy. Well, I finally got ahold of her Tuesday and it turns out that my nephew & niece (their Mom was my exsister-in-law and she died last year) were living with some family on their dad's side and something happened and CPS took them out of the house and now my friend (their great aunt) has them. I'm really hoping that they get to stay with her. When I spoke with the kids, they sounded more relaxed than they had in a long time. What's really weird is that the same night that I started thinking that I just had to talk to her was the same night all the shit hit the fan and they kids came to stay with her. You just never know what life is going to throw at you.
of my time has been spent getting through the day so I can go to sleep.
LittleBrother had a field trip Thursday and I chaperoned. (Yeah, 3 days after telling Sweety that I wasn't to be alone with the boys, the cuntofanexwife called him to see if I could chaperone a field trip.) It was pretty neat. There were dolphins, manatees and stingrays all in the water that we floated around in and on the boat trip we also got to see a rookery. I'll bet there were at least 200 birds nesting on that island. It did not smell nice. Seeing all of those birds made me think of Thomas and JediMacFan and made me glad that they weren't chaperoning. I don't think their minds could have handled all the feathers. LB thanked me a few times for coming and I'm glad that he was glad that I was there. I know that it won't be too long before he doesn't want anything to do with his parental figures. Isn't that what happens with kids? Well, I figure that's what's gonna happen so I nose in on their activities whenever they want me to.
On Wednesday we were going out to eat and LB says to me "Hey, you could take me to my Mom's house after the field trip tomorrow since you'll already be at the school with me. So she doesn't have to come to the school." My reply, "No. No, I don't think so. Your Mom's new house is too far out of my way so I don't think I'll be swinging you by there." I tried to keep the bitchy out of my voice but I think some seeped out. And it just got really quiet in the car. I wanted to say something along the lines of, "I'm never doing anything to help your ungrateful bitch of a mother again." but I did not. She just moved into a new rental last week and it's not as conveniently located to us as her last place was. I've already let Sweety know that I will not be taking the boys to her house on Thursdays when I'm on my way to work. It would be a good 30 minutes out of my way and I'm done going out of my way for her. Sweety can take them by there whenever he goes to work (be it 5 a.m. or 8 a.m.) or she can come to our house and get them.
I am so freaking ready to go to Reno next week! No dogs! I'm gonna have no dogs for 5 days! No getting up in the middle of the night to let them out to squirt out 3 drops of piss or having Stinky dog bark at me for half an hour while I try to figure out what she wants. Eh, I'm probably going to miss them by day two. But maybe not. It's going to be nice to not be responsible for anybody else for a few days.
We saw Spiderman 3 today and walked around the mall a bit. It is so freaking hot here already. I'm glad that I'm not a boy and have to deal with testicles. I bet that a sweaty nutsack is a real pain to deal with. Don't they get chapped or something? Nutsack. I like that word.
A friend of mine (She is my exhusband's aunt but we're still friends.) had really been on my mind the past few days. I started calling her Thursday before last and we kept playing phone tag. I don't know why but I'd just been feeling really blue and wanted to talk to her. Just the sound of her voice on my voicemail made me feel sad and weepy. Well, I finally got ahold of her Tuesday and it turns out that my nephew & niece (their Mom was my exsister-in-law and she died last year) were living with some family on their dad's side and something happened and CPS took them out of the house and now my friend (their great aunt) has them. I'm really hoping that they get to stay with her. When I spoke with the kids, they sounded more relaxed than they had in a long time. What's really weird is that the same night that I started thinking that I just had to talk to her was the same night all the shit hit the fan and they kids came to stay with her. You just never know what life is going to throw at you.
5/17/07
Good Stuff
The Rules:
Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you.
Include the state and country you’re in.
List out your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location (locally).
Tag 5 other people (preferably from other countries/states) and let them know they’ve been tagged.
My 5 favorite places to eat locally:
Athena Cafe - A small Greek cafe with great food. When Sweety is being especially nice, he'll swing by there on his way home from work and bring home 2 dinner portions of some chicken that they cook with rice and vegetables and that is enough for the 4 of us to eat and have leftovers.
Blackwater BBQ - This is the only bbq place that I've found down here that's as good as what you find in Texas. And the green beans here...I'd slap my mama for some of the green beans!
La Fiesta Mexican Restaurant - A substitute for my favorite Mexican place that I left behind in Texas. I'm picky about enchiladas (ground beef please, not shredded) and rice and both are tasty here.
Crazy Buffet - The place to go to stuff yourself silly. All-you-can-eat everything. Crab legs, shrimp, Chinese food, kimchi (insert lip smacking sound here), and tons of other stuff.
Carrabba's Italian Grill - The service here is hit-or-miss but the Polla Rosa Maria (chicken breast with some sort of sauce and mushrooms) is what we always eat. What I really like about this place is that there's a little dive bar around the corner and we'll go there til a table is open at Carrabba's and then go back to the bar after we eat. The dive is a good place to people watch.
Previous players:
Nicole (Sydney, Australia)
Velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)
Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)
Olivia (London, England)
ML (Utah, USA)
J (California, USA)
CuriosityKiller (Hong Kong, SAR)
Shelli (Minnesota, USA)
Bluepaintred (Saskatchewan, Canada)
Avitable (Florida, USA)
Amy (California, USA)
Chickie (Florida, USA)
Tagged:
Nobody. Because what if I tag and you don't play? I can't handle the rejection. But I am nosy and would love it if some of you all would share, either in the comments or on your own blog!
Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you.
Include the state and country you’re in.
List out your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location (locally).
Tag 5 other people (preferably from other countries/states) and let them know they’ve been tagged.
My 5 favorite places to eat locally:
Athena Cafe - A small Greek cafe with great food. When Sweety is being especially nice, he'll swing by there on his way home from work and bring home 2 dinner portions of some chicken that they cook with rice and vegetables and that is enough for the 4 of us to eat and have leftovers.
Blackwater BBQ - This is the only bbq place that I've found down here that's as good as what you find in Texas. And the green beans here...I'd slap my mama for some of the green beans!
La Fiesta Mexican Restaurant - A substitute for my favorite Mexican place that I left behind in Texas. I'm picky about enchiladas (ground beef please, not shredded) and rice and both are tasty here.
Crazy Buffet - The place to go to stuff yourself silly. All-you-can-eat everything. Crab legs, shrimp, Chinese food, kimchi (insert lip smacking sound here), and tons of other stuff.
Carrabba's Italian Grill - The service here is hit-or-miss but the Polla Rosa Maria (chicken breast with some sort of sauce and mushrooms) is what we always eat. What I really like about this place is that there's a little dive bar around the corner and we'll go there til a table is open at Carrabba's and then go back to the bar after we eat. The dive is a good place to people watch.
Previous players:
Nicole (Sydney, Australia)
Velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)
Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)
Olivia (London, England)
ML (Utah, USA)
J (California, USA)
CuriosityKiller (Hong Kong, SAR)
Shelli (Minnesota, USA)
Bluepaintred (Saskatchewan, Canada)
Avitable (Florida, USA)
Amy (California, USA)
Chickie (Florida, USA)
Tagged:
Nobody. Because what if I tag and you don't play? I can't handle the rejection. But I am nosy and would love it if some of you all would share, either in the comments or on your own blog!
5/14/07
Do You Smell That?
Sweety is the man! I got home tonight and he had a lovely Mother's Day card out for me and a poorly wrapped present. I thought the present was a block of cheese (really, i love cheese!) but it was a bottle of the perfume that was unjustly sniped away from me the other night! I smell so good right now that I'd fuck myself if I didn't have to exert so much effort.
The other night I went on a little online spree and I also have a couple of other bottles of perfume that I really like on the way. Some Mackie and Gaultier. I like to smell good and it's even better when I can get it for much less than retail price!
Oh, Sweety is going to bed. I must go properly thank him for the gift.
I hope you all had a Happy Mother's Day!
The other night I went on a little online spree and I also have a couple of other bottles of perfume that I really like on the way. Some Mackie and Gaultier. I like to smell good and it's even better when I can get it for much less than retail price!
Oh, Sweety is going to bed. I must go properly thank him for the gift.
I hope you all had a Happy Mother's Day!
5/12/07
All About Tiny Dog (or "I need to get a life.")
Poor, still going bald, Tiny dog. She lost a bunch of hair around the beginning of this year and that stuff still hasn't grown back. I guess she's gonna look moth-eaten forever.
It's fun to scratch her belly when she's laying like that. She sticks her arms straight out like she's a mummy or zombie and keeps on sleeping. I wish you could hear her snoring. She's loud as hell right now.
I think I've mentioned my take on eating leftover food before - if it's not fuzzy, or green or slimy then I'll eat it. Tiny and I polished off some 2 week old chili last night and don't seem to be suffering from it this morning.
I finished some tequila last night and then did a photo shoot with Tiny while she snacked. I like how her tongue looks like a piece of thin ham. Having a flashing camera right in her face did not interfere with her killing of the chili. That's my girl...
Oh, one more thing about Tiny. I put her on the treadmill yesterday. Actually, she was sitting on it and I turned it on. Not fast, very, very slow. She walked for about 30 seconds then bailed off. When I lured her on by dangling a piece of cheese in front of her face, she stayed on there a bit longer.
It's fun to scratch her belly when she's laying like that. She sticks her arms straight out like she's a mummy or zombie and keeps on sleeping. I wish you could hear her snoring. She's loud as hell right now.
I think I've mentioned my take on eating leftover food before - if it's not fuzzy, or green or slimy then I'll eat it. Tiny and I polished off some 2 week old chili last night and don't seem to be suffering from it this morning.
I finished some tequila last night and then did a photo shoot with Tiny while she snacked. I like how her tongue looks like a piece of thin ham. Having a flashing camera right in her face did not interfere with her killing of the chili. That's my girl...
Oh, one more thing about Tiny. I put her on the treadmill yesterday. Actually, she was sitting on it and I turned it on. Not fast, very, very slow. She walked for about 30 seconds then bailed off. When I lured her on by dangling a piece of cheese in front of her face, she stayed on there a bit longer.
5/10/07
HNT: Tiny Dog Style
Mama was feeling generous and said that I get to be the star this week! Lucky you!
You may click on the photos if you wish to worship me in a larger manner.
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!
You may click on the photos if you wish to worship me in a larger manner.
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!
5/9/07
Suckage
The official start of hurricane season is 3 weeks away but there is already a named storm (Andrea) out there. Fuck hurricane season in the ass with a brick. One of those big cinderblock bricks, not a little red one.
And O.J. Simpson - Fuck him with that same brick too. Gets kicked out of a restaurant because the owner doesn't like him and now Simpson's lawyer says that the incident was racially motivated. WTF? It doesn't seem as though the business owner had a problem with his race. It seems more to be that it pisses him off that O.J. got away with murder and is still popular in spite of that. Go to McDonald's, jackass.
I've spent the last 2 hours online, drooling over Nintendo Wii's. I want one very, very, very, very much. I've been to every store in my area multiple times over the past 2 months and can never get there when they have them. I'm beginning to think that the damn stores don't ever have any but put the ads in the paper to attract customers. Maybe I will get brave and order one online. I got my butt burned buying something pricey online a few years ago and have shied away from it ever since. I sure am dying to play Zelda: Twilight Princess though.
Have you ever drank carrot juice? I had some this morning. It was okay as long as I wasn't breathing and didn't have to breathe in the carroty smell. I'm glad that I didn't get a huge bottle of it though because I don't think it will become a diet staple.
And O.J. Simpson - Fuck him with that same brick too. Gets kicked out of a restaurant because the owner doesn't like him and now Simpson's lawyer says that the incident was racially motivated. WTF? It doesn't seem as though the business owner had a problem with his race. It seems more to be that it pisses him off that O.J. got away with murder and is still popular in spite of that. Go to McDonald's, jackass.
I've spent the last 2 hours online, drooling over Nintendo Wii's. I want one very, very, very, very much. I've been to every store in my area multiple times over the past 2 months and can never get there when they have them. I'm beginning to think that the damn stores don't ever have any but put the ads in the paper to attract customers. Maybe I will get brave and order one online. I got my butt burned buying something pricey online a few years ago and have shied away from it ever since. I sure am dying to play Zelda: Twilight Princess though.
Have you ever drank carrot juice? I had some this morning. It was okay as long as I wasn't breathing and didn't have to breathe in the carroty smell. I'm glad that I didn't get a huge bottle of it though because I don't think it will become a diet staple.
5/8/07
I'm it!
Patti_Cake was kind enough to slap me with a me-me. I'm supposed to tell you 7 weird things about me and then tag 7 other people. I've done this kind of thing before and I tell you people pretty much everything, so I wasn't able to think up 7 more things to reveal. I did manage to scrape up three things that haven't been previously shared.
I love eating at Chick-Fil-A because they serve their chicken nuggets in little boxes with lids on them. After I'm done eating, I get to fold my trash up and put it in the little boxes before throwing it away. You wouldn't believe how thrilling that is to me. Really. To see those closed up boxes and know that just moments before they were full of chicken but now they're full of trash and you can't even tell since the lids are closed. Bliss.I'm not tagging anybody but feel free to share anything weird about yourself in the comments. Inquring minds want to know!
When I'm in a public bathroom, I won't leave the stall until the bathroom is empty. I don't know why, but I don't like walking out of the stall and seeing other people in there. If I must leave the bathroom while it is occupied, I will just dart out of the stall and leave. And that means not washing my hands. Yucky - yes. But it's not like I touched anything in the place with my mitts anyway and I'm usually able to wait til the room is empty.
Whenever I walk by a mirror, I can't help but make a face. I curl my lips back and hiss and then make the kind of sound that I think a squirrel makes when it's nibbling nuts. If I'm not holding anything, I might take my fingers and yank my eyes back til they're little slits.
5/6/07
Ahhhhh...
I discovered last night that Sweety is the Massage-Giving King! We've been together for 6 years and I had no clue that he could do such good things with his hands.
Did I feel bad about having someone wearing a neck brace giving me a massage? A teensy bit. But then it started to feel really good and I started to drool so I just quit thinking.
Damn, I'm spoiled.
Did I feel bad about having someone wearing a neck brace giving me a massage? A teensy bit. But then it started to feel really good and I started to drool so I just quit thinking.
Damn, I'm spoiled.
5/5/07
(insert title here)
This was one loooong day.
The boys had a baseball game today and won in the last inning. The score for the whole game had been 1 to 0 in the other team's favor. I turned my thoughtbeams on and helped our team score two runs. I despise the parents on the opposing team. They're the sort that really rub it in when they win or get a run and it was very pleasing to see them all shut their pieholes and swell up like boiled frogs when their precious team lost at the last minute. Heh, heh, heh.
On Thursday night, Sweety got a wild hair up his ass and announced that he would be taking the whole baseball team & families out to eat pizza tonight. I think I had a minor panic attack today just worrying about it. I managed to make it through the event without stabbing myself to death with a bent fork.
Then we came home and took a walk. A long walk. My feet are still burning.
I bought some new jeans today! Sized smaller that they were when I bought some just 3 weeks ago! For once, I didn't want to kick the mirror in the store's dressing room. I swear, once I get down to where I want to be, we're going somewhere and running around naked as the day is long.
Anybody out there ever been to a nudist resort? I never have but I'd like to go at least once. I think it would be neat to stroll around with the breeze hitting your bits. Mostly, I want to go somewhere that I can skinny-dip in the ocean without worrying about being arrested.
Here's Sweety's surgery wound. He made a joke the other night that I could shove a breadstick in it and I told him I'd use a garlic breadstick because they're salty and it would sting. I figure if you're gonna stab someone with bread that you need to cause the maximum amount of discomfort.
The boys had a baseball game today and won in the last inning. The score for the whole game had been 1 to 0 in the other team's favor. I turned my thoughtbeams on and helped our team score two runs. I despise the parents on the opposing team. They're the sort that really rub it in when they win or get a run and it was very pleasing to see them all shut their pieholes and swell up like boiled frogs when their precious team lost at the last minute. Heh, heh, heh.
On Thursday night, Sweety got a wild hair up his ass and announced that he would be taking the whole baseball team & families out to eat pizza tonight. I think I had a minor panic attack today just worrying about it. I managed to make it through the event without stabbing myself to death with a bent fork.
Then we came home and took a walk. A long walk. My feet are still burning.
I bought some new jeans today! Sized smaller that they were when I bought some just 3 weeks ago! For once, I didn't want to kick the mirror in the store's dressing room. I swear, once I get down to where I want to be, we're going somewhere and running around naked as the day is long.
Anybody out there ever been to a nudist resort? I never have but I'd like to go at least once. I think it would be neat to stroll around with the breeze hitting your bits. Mostly, I want to go somewhere that I can skinny-dip in the ocean without worrying about being arrested.
Here's Sweety's surgery wound. He made a joke the other night that I could shove a breadstick in it and I told him I'd use a garlic breadstick because they're salty and it would sting. I figure if you're gonna stab someone with bread that you need to cause the maximum amount of discomfort.
5/3/07
5/2/07
Such a Lucky Girl!
Guess what I got today?
Go on, guess!
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My very first, full-fledged eye-roll from a twelve year old!
Yay! Go me! I feel like such a grownup parent now! I also feel like soap socking someone.
My Mom says that I used to do that to her and it pissed her off to no end. I'm following in her footsteps because I almost fell out of my chair when I saw it and The Fury overcame me.
Look kid, when I tell you to do something - just do it. Even if it doesn't make sense to you. Maybe I'm not explaining everything to you because you have a tendency to let shit go in one ear and right out the other. Maybe you'll hear the reason behind what I told you to do once you complete the first step satisfactorily. Or maybe not. Whatever. Just do what I told you to do. And for the love of Pete, do not roll your eyes at me where I can see you do it. That is just. not. wise.
Ah lovely. LittleBrother just came stomping into the house (they'd been outside playing basketball), all pissy about something that BigBrother has done. It is rather hard to take anything that LB is saying right now too seriously because he is wearing one pea green woolen glove on his right hand. It just really takes away from the anger that he is trying to project.
Bedtime can't come soon enough.
Go on, guess!
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.
.
.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
My very first, full-fledged eye-roll from a twelve year old!
Yay! Go me! I feel like such a grownup parent now! I also feel like soap socking someone.
My Mom says that I used to do that to her and it pissed her off to no end. I'm following in her footsteps because I almost fell out of my chair when I saw it and The Fury overcame me.
Look kid, when I tell you to do something - just do it. Even if it doesn't make sense to you. Maybe I'm not explaining everything to you because you have a tendency to let shit go in one ear and right out the other. Maybe you'll hear the reason behind what I told you to do once you complete the first step satisfactorily. Or maybe not. Whatever. Just do what I told you to do. And for the love of Pete, do not roll your eyes at me where I can see you do it. That is just. not. wise.
Ah lovely. LittleBrother just came stomping into the house (they'd been outside playing basketball), all pissy about something that BigBrother has done. It is rather hard to take anything that LB is saying right now too seriously because he is wearing one pea green woolen glove on his right hand. It just really takes away from the anger that he is trying to project.
Bedtime can't come soon enough.
5/1/07
Progress
Remember the dead tree that our neighbors didn't want us to cut down? Well, it's still dead as hell.
But guess what's happening on the empty 5 acres behind us? It's being turned into some sort of retention pond. To achieve this, the state has been busy clearing it out. Unfortunately, the dead trees will not be cleared out but the whole wooded area on the other side of our neighbor's house has been.
Our neighbor is pretty pissed off that "her" trees have been removed. I sat in the backyard and listened to the bulldozers work while I laughed my ass off today. I find it ironic that a year ago she put up a stink about taking down dead trees and now the whole treeline separating her house from her neighbor's is gone.
Ha-fucking-ha, I hope you enjoy your new view.
But guess what's happening on the empty 5 acres behind us? It's being turned into some sort of retention pond. To achieve this, the state has been busy clearing it out. Unfortunately, the dead trees will not be cleared out but the whole wooded area on the other side of our neighbor's house has been.
Our neighbor is pretty pissed off that "her" trees have been removed. I sat in the backyard and listened to the bulldozers work while I laughed my ass off today. I find it ironic that a year ago she put up a stink about taking down dead trees and now the whole treeline separating her house from her neighbor's is gone.
Ha-fucking-ha, I hope you enjoy your new view.
Wishful Thinking
Maybe tomorrow, Angelina Jolie will show up on my doorstep with her brood of orphans to let me know that she's leaving Brad for me. I'm pretty sure if that happened that Sweety would give me his blessing and send me on my merry way.
You don't know what I'd give to find a nice big sack of cocaine-dusted drug money in the street. I would not bother notifying the authorities.
It would be nice if Stinky dog and Sweety could snore just a teeny bit louder. I love it when they snore. It lets me know that they are breathing. Breathing is good.
Tomorrow I will think up a nice, juicy post. Probably.
You don't know what I'd give to find a nice big sack of cocaine-dusted drug money in the street. I would not bother notifying the authorities.
It would be nice if Stinky dog and Sweety could snore just a teeny bit louder. I love it when they snore. It lets me know that they are breathing. Breathing is good.
Tomorrow I will think up a nice, juicy post. Probably.
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