Holy shit batman. This has been a bink! kind of night.
You know what I get to do tomorrow? Sleep in! Woo-hoo! It seems like the last few weeks that when the boys have been at their mom's house on the weekend we've had an early baseball game on Saturday but this is not the case tomorrow! Woo-hoo! Don't have to get up til 2 p.m. at the latest tommorrow. Though we'll get up much earlier because Sweety can't sleep that late.
Do you know the Ladybug Picnic song off of Seasame Street? That has been in my head hard for a few weeks. Sometimes I burst into song because I've just gotta get it out.
1 2 3. 4 5 6. 7 8 9. 10 11 12....
Ladybugs went to the ladybug picnic! (okay, maybe that's not quite how it goes but it's how I sing it in my head)
Motherfucker. I love that little lyric.
Tommorrow I shall reply to the comments that have been left over the past couple of days. I feel guilty about posting something (fluff that is may be) without replying to comments.
3/31/07
3/29/07
It Was A Bloody Wednesday
I had no idea that Stinky dog was indulging in autocannibalism at the same time I was getting blood drawn. This resulted in a bath, medication and a nice, shiny new collar. As you can see, she is thrilled with her latest accessory.
And why the heck is it that the tape they use on your arm after a blood draw hurts so damn much to pull off? Don't I deserve a bandaid with a smiley face or something on it instead of a cotton ball and masking tape?
As a show of empathy, BigBrother wore the collar while Stinky dog was eating her dinner.
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!
And why the heck is it that the tape they use on your arm after a blood draw hurts so damn much to pull off? Don't I deserve a bandaid with a smiley face or something on it instead of a cotton ball and masking tape?
As a show of empathy, BigBrother wore the collar while Stinky dog was eating her dinner.
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!
3/28/07
Shut Up!
Sweet, tiny, eight and a half pound baby Jesus, with your golden diaper on...
Why, oh why, do the boys pick at each other so much? AAAAAAGGGGGHHHH! I just had to go break up a domestic dispute.
My first impulse was to find the broom and beat his ass with it when he said that to me. Does he not recognize that he is dealing with a woman who is on the edge? I wonder how long it would take to bake and eat them both?
Ha, ha. Just kidding. I wouldn't eat them. Children are too tough to eat after about 3 years old anyway.
I must find some way to decompress soon.
Why, oh why, do the boys pick at each other so much? AAAAAAGGGGGHHHH! I just had to go break up a domestic dispute.
(sounds of fighting and fucking whiiiiiining in the background)No shit kid, I too was an older sibling and delighted in tormenting my sister but I was smart enough to do it out of the earshot of my parents.
Hey! You guys stop picking at each other!
Okay. But it's so much fun to pick on LittleBrother!
My first impulse was to find the broom and beat his ass with it when he said that to me. Does he not recognize that he is dealing with a woman who is on the edge? I wonder how long it would take to bake and eat them both?
Ha, ha. Just kidding. I wouldn't eat them. Children are too tough to eat after about 3 years old anyway.
I must find some way to decompress soon.
Go, Go, Go - All The Freaking Time!
Son of a bitch, today has been loooooong and unproductive. My regular doctor wanted me to get some bloodwork done to test my choloesterol and whatnot. So I didn't eat anything this morning and went to the lab where they take your blood. Well, first I drove to where I thought the place was and realized it wasn't there and then drove home to MapQuest the fucking place and THEN I drove to the proper location.
Walking into the clinic was like stepping into a carnival. It was chockful of a wide variety of folks and one of the nurses had two flipper-arms. It was an interesting place to sit and people watch. As soon as I was done there, it was time to get LittleBrother from school and then BigBrother. I haven't gotten a damn thing at all done today. I feel like Patti_Cake does in her most recent post. Like it sure would be nice to not have to go anywhere. For the past few weeks I've been feeling like I'm chasing my own tail.
When I came home for a minute this morning (when I was looking up directions to the place that I needed to go) and opened up the bathroom door where Stinky & Tiny dog stay when they're home alone, it looked like someone had been killed in there. Blood smeared all over the floor and walls. It seems that allergy season has descended like a swarm of bees on Stinky dog and she spent her time in seclusion trying to eat her tail. She'll be getting a bath and medication this evening. Poor Stinky.
I totally blew my diet last night by ingesting 6 tequila shots after the sprogs went to bed. That's 900 calories that I didn't need. But I saw this morning that the scale was 2 pounds lighter than it was yesterday morning. Maybe I should just go on the tequila diet?
I better go and get some shit done before I fetch Stinky something to ease her suffering.
Walking into the clinic was like stepping into a carnival. It was chockful of a wide variety of folks and one of the nurses had two flipper-arms. It was an interesting place to sit and people watch. As soon as I was done there, it was time to get LittleBrother from school and then BigBrother. I haven't gotten a damn thing at all done today. I feel like Patti_Cake does in her most recent post. Like it sure would be nice to not have to go anywhere. For the past few weeks I've been feeling like I'm chasing my own tail.
When I came home for a minute this morning (when I was looking up directions to the place that I needed to go) and opened up the bathroom door where Stinky & Tiny dog stay when they're home alone, it looked like someone had been killed in there. Blood smeared all over the floor and walls. It seems that allergy season has descended like a swarm of bees on Stinky dog and she spent her time in seclusion trying to eat her tail. She'll be getting a bath and medication this evening. Poor Stinky.
I totally blew my diet last night by ingesting 6 tequila shots after the sprogs went to bed. That's 900 calories that I didn't need. But I saw this morning that the scale was 2 pounds lighter than it was yesterday morning. Maybe I should just go on the tequila diet?
I better go and get some shit done before I fetch Stinky something to ease her suffering.
3/27/07
I think I'm going to quit titling posts because it's getting hard.
Good grief. I have so much freaking running around to do today. Three different doctor appointments (doctor - what a funny looking word). Nothing anything major, just regular visits that I scheduled all on the same day.
And I've gotta take my sonofabitching laptop back to the store because, to put it mildly, it is complete toast. I've been limping along with it for a couple of weeks (when it freezes we'll slap the hell outta it but that's not working so well anymore.) and it's time for it to go to computer heaven. Or at least get fixed.
I had the most unsettling dream last night. I dreamt that I left Sweety because I got on to LittleBrother for talking back to me and Sweety told me if I ever embarrassed LB again (even if he deserved it) that I'd be in trouble. So I loaded myself onto my motorized tricycle (weird because I've never ever ridden a tricycle) and putted away at about 7 miles per hour. And ended up living in an abandoned house, watching Sweety's house with binoculars and waiting for the proper time to unleash revenge upon his household. His household that included a new, pretty, subservient little wife (who was Japanese). Then my alarm went off. Have you ever been pissed off when waking from a dream? If Sweety'd called me when I was waking up I'd have probably found something to bitch at him about.
I think I know why I had the dream. Last night while we were in bed and just talking crazy, Sweety said that he's smacked Tiny dog with a brick (a decorative brick that is around the flowerbed at the end of the driveway that I have a problem with driving over) after seeing me drive over the flower bed. So I waited a few minutes and told him that I was going to make LB cry before school this morning to avenge Tiny's abuse. For the record, I did not make a child cry this morning and Sweety did not hit Tiny with a brick. Sweety was offended that I'd even say such a thing. He thinks that animal cruelty and picking on a 10 year old are like comparing apples and oranges. I don't. At least LB could run if I came after him with a brick or started yelling at him. I think that people who abuse kids or animals pull from the same well of fuckeduppedness.
Well, I think the dryer is finished ironing for me. Better get my clothes and get the day started.
And I've gotta take my sonofabitching laptop back to the store because, to put it mildly, it is complete toast. I've been limping along with it for a couple of weeks (when it freezes we'll slap the hell outta it but that's not working so well anymore.) and it's time for it to go to computer heaven. Or at least get fixed.
Dear BigBrother,Ah, speaking of the children...
If you turn the dryer OFF to take some clothes out - please, fortheloveofpete, turn it back ON when you're done. Because if you don't, the things that I tossed in there to "iron" will get all wrinkly again and I'll have to wait for it to get the wrinkles back out. And you are on crack if you think I'm gonna really iron a t-shirt at this hour.
Thanking you in advance,
Your not too wicked stepmother
I had the most unsettling dream last night. I dreamt that I left Sweety because I got on to LittleBrother for talking back to me and Sweety told me if I ever embarrassed LB again (even if he deserved it) that I'd be in trouble. So I loaded myself onto my motorized tricycle (weird because I've never ever ridden a tricycle) and putted away at about 7 miles per hour. And ended up living in an abandoned house, watching Sweety's house with binoculars and waiting for the proper time to unleash revenge upon his household. His household that included a new, pretty, subservient little wife (who was Japanese). Then my alarm went off. Have you ever been pissed off when waking from a dream? If Sweety'd called me when I was waking up I'd have probably found something to bitch at him about.
I think I know why I had the dream. Last night while we were in bed and just talking crazy, Sweety said that he's smacked Tiny dog with a brick (a decorative brick that is around the flowerbed at the end of the driveway that I have a problem with driving over) after seeing me drive over the flower bed. So I waited a few minutes and told him that I was going to make LB cry before school this morning to avenge Tiny's abuse. For the record, I did not make a child cry this morning and Sweety did not hit Tiny with a brick. Sweety was offended that I'd even say such a thing. He thinks that animal cruelty and picking on a 10 year old are like comparing apples and oranges. I don't. At least LB could run if I came after him with a brick or started yelling at him. I think that people who abuse kids or animals pull from the same well of fuckeduppedness.
Well, I think the dryer is finished ironing for me. Better get my clothes and get the day started.
3/26/07
If I Had A Nickel For Every Time...
I've said, "Why don't you go have yourself a nice tall glass of fuck yourself?"
I've tripped over Stinky dog.
I've tripped over Tiny dog and sent her ass flying.
I've accidentally injured Sweety.
Tiny has slipped me some tongue when I'm kissing her nose.
I've heard a child whine.
I've got behind some dumbass while driving and almost chewed through my wrists at a redlight.
Sweety fixed the garbage disposal after I've had too much fun with it.
I've been the last person to touch an appliance before it died.
I would be so rich right now.
I've tripped over Stinky dog.
I've tripped over Tiny dog and sent her ass flying.
I've accidentally injured Sweety.
Tiny has slipped me some tongue when I'm kissing her nose.
I've heard a child whine.
I've got behind some dumbass while driving and almost chewed through my wrists at a redlight.
Sweety fixed the garbage disposal after I've had too much fun with it.
I've been the last person to touch an appliance before it died.
I would be so rich right now.
3/24/07
Saturday Night Gratuitous Photo Post
I'd love for Tiny dog to vomit out a twin. You can click on it to see the original.
blah blah blah
Have I mentioned that after eating pain pills Sweety becomes becomes very needy and clingy and he tells me the same stories about how his day went at least eleventy-billion times before he goes to sleep? And once he goes to sleep he snores loud enough to scare the dogs into barking. Did I mention needy and clingy? Like I-need-a-pick-axe-to-beat-his-ass-until-he-shuts-up-and-gets-off-of-me clingy? But he does let me shove the dog in his pants for photos so I'll stop bitching.
I am so freaking glad that Saturday is here. On Thursday I thought that it was Wednesday (one of my days off) when I woke up. It really sucked to realize that I had 2 days of work to go. That sort of thing makes me want to cry. It's like my brain played a mean joke on me.
Speaking of work - When you call your (insert water company, electric company, trash service pick-up, or credit card company here) and the kind customer service person (who is really not in charge of anything and did not cause whatthefuckever thing you are calling about) asks for your name: Give your LAST name too. Don't just say your first name and then act pissy when asked for your last name. And while we're at it - you don't need to spell your name either. I've got a pretty damn good idea of how to spell "Smith".
Something absolutely horrible that I did when I was a teenager: My sister and I told my parents that we wanted to cook them dinner. You know, to be nice. Then we doctored everything up with sleeping pills (they were generic pills. blue. do you know how hard it is to hide blue powder in vanilla ice cream?) and snuck out of the house when they passed out.
Why is it so hard to come up with titles for these stinking posts sometimes?
I am so freaking glad that Saturday is here. On Thursday I thought that it was Wednesday (one of my days off) when I woke up. It really sucked to realize that I had 2 days of work to go. That sort of thing makes me want to cry. It's like my brain played a mean joke on me.
Speaking of work - When you call your (insert water company, electric company, trash service pick-up, or credit card company here) and the kind customer service person (who is really not in charge of anything and did not cause whatthefuckever thing you are calling about) asks for your name: Give your LAST name too. Don't just say your first name and then act pissy when asked for your last name. And while we're at it - you don't need to spell your name either. I've got a pretty damn good idea of how to spell "Smith".
Something absolutely horrible that I did when I was a teenager: My sister and I told my parents that we wanted to cook them dinner. You know, to be nice. Then we doctored everything up with sleeping pills (they were generic pills. blue. do you know how hard it is to hide blue powder in vanilla ice cream?) and snuck out of the house when they passed out.
Why is it so hard to come up with titles for these stinking posts sometimes?
3/22/07
3/21/07
Chickie Dines Out
Yesterday BigBrother and I rose before the sun and went to Busch Gardens. LittleBrother stayed at his mom's house because he is a chicken and didn't want to ride Sheikra. I deviated briefly from my diet when I ate a piece of chicken and shared some fries with a squirrel. (I was about 2 feet from him when I took that picture. He was a whore for the fries.) It was a brief deviation because right after eating we rode a roller coaster twice and I puked my guts out. I really hate vomiting in public restrooms.That evening we watched Ghost Rider. It was a good popcorn-for-the-brain kinda flick. Then we ate at Red Lobster and had the worst fucking service ever. (I know, I know - what else should I expect from there?)
It took 7 minutes after being seated before someone came over (A host I think. Not a waiter.) and he said he didn't know who our server was but he'd get our drinks. 8 minutes (Yes, I was timing this shit.) after getting our drinks a waitress came over and said that she'd take care of us since nobody else was.
BB and I were going to split an order of king crab legs and some shrimp. I asked her to please come back to the table since she was the first person to really do so and even though we were splitting an order that I was going to leave a decent tip. The food came out and it was rather dismal. The waitress said that when she was putting the crab legs in to cook that she'd noticed that there were a lot of bits and pieces and that they were going to cook a couple of legs and bring them out. (So, you saw this when you dropped these bitches in the boiling water? Why not fix it then instead of having this conversation with me now?)
Of course, the crab bits & pieces that she did bring out were cold. But we ate them anyway. It was late and we needed to get home. I didn't want to bitch just then because I knew we were going to eat them and I didn't want it to look like I was scamming for free food. I even left a $10 tip on a $40 check because I'd decided that I wasn't going to come back again (Decided to make my last Red Lobster tip a good one.) and if I share food with someone I don't want the waitress to think I'm a tightwad. (Geez, why should I care what she thought?!)
On the way out I found the manager and told her that I'd had a really bad experience there a few months ago when I found hair in my food. I told her that when that happened I was especially peeved because the waitress was so nonchalant about it. And that on top of having a lengthy wait before being served - the food that I'd just eaten was cold in places. She was very nice and asked if I'd already paid. I told her yes, that I didn't say anything because the food was edible and we did eat it all so I didn't complain before paying because I wasn't looking for free food.
I don't know what I wanted by complaining. Just for them to know that I'd had 2 shitty little experiences there. She gave me her card and asked me to please give them another chance and let her know if I came back and that everything would be perfect for me. But see, I don't want to have to get a manager's attention when I eat somewhere for things to be okay. Shouldn't they be good anyway? Bah.
3/19/07
Too Lazy For A Title
Awhile back, I said that Sweety was going to start cooking for me in my effort to lose weight. Well, that went over like a lead balloon. He's been busy and I can't cook a batch of chicken on the grill to save my life. I'm just no good at planning meals.
A couple of weeks ago I went to the doctor because my blood pressure was insanely high (again) and noticed that I'd gained 8 pounds since the last time that I was there. I've decided that I really don't want to have a stroke and that I'm tired of being tired all of the time and after that visit (Okay, not right after that visit. A day or so after that visit when I looked in the mirror and saw myself hiding in the bathroom, eating a candybar and drinking milk.) I decided that I needed to reign my shit in and joined up at Nutrisystem.
Tidy little boxes of food arrived on Thursday and I started the diet on Friday and have not deviated from it yet. Staying on a diet for 72 hours may not seem like a big thing to you but it is to me.
My big problem is constant grazing (If I'm awake, I'm probably eating.) and that I have no eye for portion control or the types of foods that I need to eat. Actually measuring out the stuff that I'm eating has really made me see how I was eating wayyyyyy too much of things. Like what I was eating as a serving was actually 2 or 3. And for the past 2 nights I haven't crept out of bed after Sweety falls asleep to attack the icebox. Hopefully, this trend will continue.
I started a book today that I'm really liking. The Nimrod Flipout. It's a collection of short stories that are disturbingly funny or make me feel uneasy after I've read them. I'm halfway through the book and hate to see it end. I think I'll order everything else that this guy has written.
Oh, ouch! I just swung my hair out of the way and bumped into two growths on my neck. Fucking yuck. These bitches hurt. I don't think they are pimples. I think they are some sort of baby spider pods or something. Have you ever heard of putting toothpaste on a pimple? Sweety swears by it. I think I'll give it a try before bedtime. If these things don't go away, I may need to buy a scarf to hide them.
Speaking of Sweety - His arm and neck are still hurting him. He's starting to lose muscle tone in the arm that he can't use. This week when he goes to his doctor, I hope that they decide to do something besides waiting to see if it will get better. Sweety asked me what I would do and I told him I'd get a shot in my neck to numb it and then take a couple of weeks off of work to just lay on my back and let it get better. He just can't bear to be off of work. I pointed out that if it doesn't get well soon that he'll end up getting surgery and will be out of work for that anyway. So he may as well take the time off to just lay around and let it heal and avoid surgery.
And the drug induced conversations that I've had with him! The other night, I accidentally whacked him when I was rolling over and he woke up whimpering in pain and started telling me that my bedside manner was horrible. I got up to go to the bathroom and he yelled, "Get back in here when I'm talking to you! I'm paying $500 a day for this room! What kind of hospital are you running?!" It's a good thing that I was already on the toilet or I would've pissed all over myself.
A couple of weeks ago I went to the doctor because my blood pressure was insanely high (again) and noticed that I'd gained 8 pounds since the last time that I was there. I've decided that I really don't want to have a stroke and that I'm tired of being tired all of the time and after that visit (Okay, not right after that visit. A day or so after that visit when I looked in the mirror and saw myself hiding in the bathroom, eating a candybar and drinking milk.) I decided that I needed to reign my shit in and joined up at Nutrisystem.
Tidy little boxes of food arrived on Thursday and I started the diet on Friday and have not deviated from it yet. Staying on a diet for 72 hours may not seem like a big thing to you but it is to me.
My big problem is constant grazing (If I'm awake, I'm probably eating.) and that I have no eye for portion control or the types of foods that I need to eat. Actually measuring out the stuff that I'm eating has really made me see how I was eating wayyyyyy too much of things. Like what I was eating as a serving was actually 2 or 3. And for the past 2 nights I haven't crept out of bed after Sweety falls asleep to attack the icebox. Hopefully, this trend will continue.
I started a book today that I'm really liking. The Nimrod Flipout. It's a collection of short stories that are disturbingly funny or make me feel uneasy after I've read them. I'm halfway through the book and hate to see it end. I think I'll order everything else that this guy has written.
Oh, ouch! I just swung my hair out of the way and bumped into two growths on my neck. Fucking yuck. These bitches hurt. I don't think they are pimples. I think they are some sort of baby spider pods or something. Have you ever heard of putting toothpaste on a pimple? Sweety swears by it. I think I'll give it a try before bedtime. If these things don't go away, I may need to buy a scarf to hide them.
Speaking of Sweety - His arm and neck are still hurting him. He's starting to lose muscle tone in the arm that he can't use. This week when he goes to his doctor, I hope that they decide to do something besides waiting to see if it will get better. Sweety asked me what I would do and I told him I'd get a shot in my neck to numb it and then take a couple of weeks off of work to just lay on my back and let it get better. He just can't bear to be off of work. I pointed out that if it doesn't get well soon that he'll end up getting surgery and will be out of work for that anyway. So he may as well take the time off to just lay around and let it heal and avoid surgery.
And the drug induced conversations that I've had with him! The other night, I accidentally whacked him when I was rolling over and he woke up whimpering in pain and started telling me that my bedside manner was horrible. I got up to go to the bathroom and he yelled, "Get back in here when I'm talking to you! I'm paying $500 a day for this room! What kind of hospital are you running?!" It's a good thing that I was already on the toilet or I would've pissed all over myself.
3/17/07
Saturday Night Gratuitious Photo Post
BigBrother had this with him when I picked him up from school the other day. When I first saw it my thought was, "Oh cool! A demonic snowman!" I asked him what it was and he said it was an evil snowman.
BB made it in art class. The assignment: the monster that lives under your bed.
Sweety says that it is evident that I am having an influence on the boys' minds.
Thomas, I am sorry for any dread that the photo may strike in you.
3/15/07
One Dog's Life
We've had Stinky dog (aka Tasha) for about 5 years now. She had a hard life before arriving here. The lady that I got her from was an ER nurse and got her from a homeless man (who lived in the alley beside the hospital) who got her from a Basset Hound rescue place.
We think that some tall man must've been really mean to her in her previous life because it's taken all of 5 years for her to get relatively comforatable with Sweety.
When we first got her, she'd run out of the room if Sweety so much as peeked inside. She still startles when he comes around sometimes but they're pretty good buddies now.Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!
3/14/07
Sickness & Veggies & An Update!
Sweety went back to the doctor today about his neck and they've decided that he will just grin and bear it a bit longer. Last week, when asked what the pain was on a scale of 1 to 10 Sweety said it was an 85 and this week it's down to a 34. It still hurts like hell and he can't use his left arm very well but at least he can tell it's getting better.
Oh, that reminds me. You know the drunk test where you touch the tip of your nose with your pointy finger? Sweety can't do that with his left hand. His arm gets all limp and he socks himself in the eye. Funny stuff. When he's all high on pain pills I like to make him do that. I'll have to video it tonight for your viewing pleasure.
I have been on a brussel sprout binge for the past few days. They were on sale today at the grocery store and that was my sign to buy as many as allowed to rathole for future consumption. I ate these for the first time last year. I don't know how I lived almost 30 years without their yummy goodness. I love tiny cabbages.
8:27 p.m.
Well dammit. Sweety has better control of his arm today than he did yesterday and is no longer whacking himself in the eye. I am disappointed.
Oh, that reminds me. You know the drunk test where you touch the tip of your nose with your pointy finger? Sweety can't do that with his left hand. His arm gets all limp and he socks himself in the eye. Funny stuff. When he's all high on pain pills I like to make him do that. I'll have to video it tonight for your viewing pleasure.
I have been on a brussel sprout binge for the past few days. They were on sale today at the grocery store and that was my sign to buy as many as allowed to rathole for future consumption. I ate these for the first time last year. I don't know how I lived almost 30 years without their yummy goodness. I love tiny cabbages.
8:27 p.m.
Well dammit. Sweety has better control of his arm today than he did yesterday and is no longer whacking himself in the eye. I am disappointed.
3/13/07
The Glass Is Half Full
I've mentioned before that I'm a picker. If there is a bump or something on me then it must be removed immediately.
This habit also extends to Sweety (if he'll let me get close enough to him).
One nice thing about his pinched nerves is that his left arm and that side of his back are numb now. After he gets a couple of pain pills in him, he's very lovey-dovey and will let me do whatever I want. The other day that was cornering him in the bathroom and carefully examining his left side to see if he had anything unsavory on him (on the numb side) that could be tweezed away.
It's too bad that he's hurting but I guess every cloud has a silver lining.
This habit also extends to Sweety (if he'll let me get close enough to him).
One nice thing about his pinched nerves is that his left arm and that side of his back are numb now. After he gets a couple of pain pills in him, he's very lovey-dovey and will let me do whatever I want. The other day that was cornering him in the bathroom and carefully examining his left side to see if he had anything unsavory on him (on the numb side) that could be tweezed away.
It's too bad that he's hurting but I guess every cloud has a silver lining.
Pfft.
Do you see that little countdown thing on the sidebar? Counting down the days til we go to Reno? Sweety has a bowling tournament there and the trip has been planned since this time last year. This trip is something that I've been very excited about but it may be nixed due to his neck problem. I really hate that. I am sooooo hoping that he gets to feeling better soon. Not just because I want to get away for a few days but because I really hate to see him hurting. And if we don't get to go the cabin fever that is festering in me may cause some sort of serious problem. Like making everyone drink anitfreeze.
The boys had a baseball game this Saturday and the exwife was kind enough to grace us with her presence 45 minutes into the game. She got to see the last 15 minutes. I guess better late than never! Stupid bint.
I got a Paint Shop program this weekend to mess with my pictures. I've spent the last hour dinking with a photo and I realize that it's going to a bit of practice to figure out what the heck I'm doing. It's amazing the amount of time that you can spent altering the look of a photo of one Tiny dog.
My toes have finally been painted. While getting them all tidied up, I cut the cuticle on toe 4 and I didn't think it would ever stop bleeding. Tiny must have a super-sensitive nose because moments after I saw that I was puddling blood where I stepped, she was right there trying to eat my toe. She really has a thing for bodily excretions.
Well damn. I had something to say but it escapes me. I think I need to go to bed.
The boys had a baseball game this Saturday and the exwife was kind enough to grace us with her presence 45 minutes into the game. She got to see the last 15 minutes. I guess better late than never! Stupid bint.
I got a Paint Shop program this weekend to mess with my pictures. I've spent the last hour dinking with a photo and I realize that it's going to a bit of practice to figure out what the heck I'm doing. It's amazing the amount of time that you can spent altering the look of a photo of one Tiny dog.
My toes have finally been painted. While getting them all tidied up, I cut the cuticle on toe 4 and I didn't think it would ever stop bleeding. Tiny must have a super-sensitive nose because moments after I saw that I was puddling blood where I stepped, she was right there trying to eat my toe. She really has a thing for bodily excretions.
Well damn. I had something to say but it escapes me. I think I need to go to bed.
3/10/07
Saturday Night Gratuitious Photo Post
See the title? Saturday night will be the time that I will post photos that are totally useless but that I like. Of course, I also reserve the right to post useless photos throughout the week. It is highly likely that the canines will be featured in most of them because I love my dogs more than necessary.
See how her eyes are closed? She was passed smooth out. I think she'd just eaten a bunch of leftover tacos or something. It is rare that I'm able to get a picture of Tiny with her eyes closed because she usually hops up when she hears the camera come on or me getting close to her. For this one, I turned the camera on in the house and then used the zoom so I didn't walk to near and wake her. It's nice to pick her up after she's been asleep in the sun. I love the way that she just dangles across my arm like a limp spaghetti string and the way that she smells like outside.
You should hear the sounds that they make when they're in the tub. I'm pretty sure that one of them will start really talking soon. I mean, Tiny dog will say "mama" already but I think Stinky or her will bust out with some sentences soon.
See how her eyes are closed? She was passed smooth out. I think she'd just eaten a bunch of leftover tacos or something. It is rare that I'm able to get a picture of Tiny with her eyes closed because she usually hops up when she hears the camera come on or me getting close to her. For this one, I turned the camera on in the house and then used the zoom so I didn't walk to near and wake her. It's nice to pick her up after she's been asleep in the sun. I love the way that she just dangles across my arm like a limp spaghetti string and the way that she smells like outside.
You should hear the sounds that they make when they're in the tub. I'm pretty sure that one of them will start really talking soon. I mean, Tiny dog will say "mama" already but I think Stinky or her will bust out with some sentences soon.
Hola!
The stupid laptop isn't being cooperative and has been useless for the last few days. I need to take it back to the store. I'm gonna give them one more chance to fix it and if it doesn't happen then I'll take advantage of the accidental damage insurance on it. It will probably be accidentally stomped on.
Since Sweety has been resting when he's at home instead of doing things, I've been spending most of my time looking at him. When the laptop's working I can quietly tap on the keys while looking at him over the monitor but if it's gone the only computer I have is the desktop in the back room and I know that Sweety feels neglected if I sit in the other room and tap on the keyboard. And at this time, since he's suffering, I'm trying to not aggravate him. I haven't been around the blogosphere as much as normal. I'm suffering from withdrawals.
Today was opening day for the Little League and there was a little ceremony at the baseball field. As a bonus, I got to talk to the bint of an exwife.
We ran into the Wienermobile today! Sweety was getting gas and told the boys to get out of the car and let me take their picture in front of the Wienermobile. They balked and he told them if they didn't that he'd act retarded and go to the people running the thing and start asking crazy questions. They boys didn't think that he would do that but I knew that he would because he's done that sort of thing before. I made them get out so I could take their picture and explained that it would be less embarrassing than their father pretending to have lost half of his i.q. points. The lady running the thing offered to take a family photo!
Looky here! I even got a wiener whistle! Wiener whistle. That feels good to say. Wiener whistle wiener whistle wiener whistle. Heh.
Since Sweety has been resting when he's at home instead of doing things, I've been spending most of my time looking at him. When the laptop's working I can quietly tap on the keys while looking at him over the monitor but if it's gone the only computer I have is the desktop in the back room and I know that Sweety feels neglected if I sit in the other room and tap on the keyboard. And at this time, since he's suffering, I'm trying to not aggravate him. I haven't been around the blogosphere as much as normal. I'm suffering from withdrawals.
Today was opening day for the Little League and there was a little ceremony at the baseball field. As a bonus, I got to talk to the bint of an exwife.
Hey! Do you want any kittens? Our cat had kittens last night in the bed with (insert name of her 4 year old here) and he freaked out. I wasn't home but got home just a few minutes after it happened.Okay, so I didn't say that. But I really wanted to. I have told Sweety if she makes idle chitchat with me (and the boys aren't around) that I'm gonna ask her to save her breath. He's a fan of "kill her with kindness" but it makes my head hurt to be civil to her. It's much easier to just not speak to her.
No, I don't want any of your bastard kittens. Why don't you try and be a responsible pet owner and SPAY YOUR FUCKING CAT? Oh wait, I guess the cat takes after you, huh?
We ran into the Wienermobile today! Sweety was getting gas and told the boys to get out of the car and let me take their picture in front of the Wienermobile. They balked and he told them if they didn't that he'd act retarded and go to the people running the thing and start asking crazy questions. They boys didn't think that he would do that but I knew that he would because he's done that sort of thing before. I made them get out so I could take their picture and explained that it would be less embarrassing than their father pretending to have lost half of his i.q. points. The lady running the thing offered to take a family photo!
Looky here! I even got a wiener whistle! Wiener whistle. That feels good to say. Wiener whistle wiener whistle wiener whistle. Heh.
3/7/07
A Broken Man
Well, I wasn't going to blog about this because it showcases what a moron I am but it's the only thing that's been on my mind for the past few days.
Last Wednesday Sweety's back wasn't feeling good. We were getting ready for bed and I told him that I thought that I could pop it. (Since I've been paying such close attention to what the chiropractor has been doing to me. Good grief, I wish that I could say that I'd been drinking when this happened but I can't. I was sober as a stone.) I really didn't think that Sweety would let me touch him but he did. (So getting hurt is halfway his fault because all he had to do was tell me no.) And I squashed the hell out of his back, just one time. I didn't do it again because his scream scared me away.
He gimped around the house for a few days in extreme pain until it became a horribly intolerable pain in his neck on Sunday night. His left arm had gone tingly and numb. And his neck hurt unbelievably.
On Tuesday he finally went to the doctor. An MRI revealed that he has 2 bulging discs and 2 crushed nerves. He went to speak with a neurosurgeon this morning about what can be done. He was supposed to call me after he was finished but he hasn't.
When he isn't rolling around in agony he's having a lot of fun picking at me for trying to kill him. His new nickname for me is Dr. Mengele.
Just so you know, I feel like total shit about this and don't need any comments regarding my dumbassery.
I'll just update this post later after I talk to him and find out what's going on.
12:41 p.m.
Sweety was told that he could either have surgery done immediately to fix things or give his body a week to see if it would heal itself. He's not keen on being whacked open so he opted for the wait and see approach.
I asked him last night as he was writing around in agony if there was anything that I could do or get to make him feel better. His reply - "Can we have a threesome?"
It's good to see that his sense of humor is still intact.
But maybe I'll see if I can find someone. This is how crushing the guilt is.
Last Wednesday Sweety's back wasn't feeling good. We were getting ready for bed and I told him that I thought that I could pop it. (Since I've been paying such close attention to what the chiropractor has been doing to me. Good grief, I wish that I could say that I'd been drinking when this happened but I can't. I was sober as a stone.) I really didn't think that Sweety would let me touch him but he did. (So getting hurt is halfway his fault because all he had to do was tell me no.) And I squashed the hell out of his back, just one time. I didn't do it again because his scream scared me away.
He gimped around the house for a few days in extreme pain until it became a horribly intolerable pain in his neck on Sunday night. His left arm had gone tingly and numb. And his neck hurt unbelievably.
On Tuesday he finally went to the doctor. An MRI revealed that he has 2 bulging discs and 2 crushed nerves. He went to speak with a neurosurgeon this morning about what can be done. He was supposed to call me after he was finished but he hasn't.
When he isn't rolling around in agony he's having a lot of fun picking at me for trying to kill him. His new nickname for me is Dr. Mengele.
Just so you know, I feel like total shit about this and don't need any comments regarding my dumbassery.
I'll just update this post later after I talk to him and find out what's going on.
12:41 p.m.
Sweety was told that he could either have surgery done immediately to fix things or give his body a week to see if it would heal itself. He's not keen on being whacked open so he opted for the wait and see approach.
I asked him last night as he was writing around in agony if there was anything that I could do or get to make him feel better. His reply - "Can we have a threesome?"
It's good to see that his sense of humor is still intact.
But maybe I'll see if I can find someone. This is how crushing the guilt is.
3/4/07
Incognito
Have you seen the commericial for Checkers that features Rap Cat? Well, when you go to Checkers now, the fast food bags have nice little preprinted drawings showing you how to dress your own cat (or Tiny Dog) in it.
Stinky is so happy that the bag doesn't come in her size.
*no Tiny Dogs were harmed in the making of this post
Stinky is so happy that the bag doesn't come in her size.
*no Tiny Dogs were harmed in the making of this post
3/3/07
My Saturday Thus Far
Today was the first baseball scrimmage game of the season for the boys. Thankfully, they didn't get slaughtered. It had been raining this morning and the bleachers were wet - I was the only person sitting in the stands. A foul ball got popped over the fence and it came straight towards me. I knew that there was no way that I could catch it so I just hopped up and ran. It almost beaned my pretty little head.
I could do without people smoking their fucking cigarettes upwind from me at the baseball games. I mean, really, can you not go a mothergrabbing hour without a cigarette while watching your kid play a game? I'd rather look over and see someone shooting up heroin - at least that way I wouldn't have to ingest any of it secondhand.
Sweety had to leave before the end of the game and their cuntofamother wasn't able to come so guess who was in charge of the boys after the game? *see me waving my hand wildly*
I made Sweety call COAM to see if it was okay if I took the boys to a movie and she kind of hemmed and hawed about it and told Sweety if the boys wanted to then it was okay. I don't think she needs to know that the boys spent 30 minutes pestering me to convince me that it would be okay for them to stay away from her house for awhile and that she could visit with them tomorrow. I'd originally told them that I was taking them right home after the game since it was her weekend.
We had fun after the game. Went to eat CiCi's Pizza and then saw The Astronaut Farmer. Nice show. I actually teared up a little bit. My PMSish hormones are in overdrive. Then I dropped them off at their COAM's house and came home to vacuum.
I love to vacuum! It's neat because it's not heavy at all and the new vacuum even does wood floors and tile! I just vacuumed the whole damn house! I'm gonna figure out some way to vacuum Stinky dog. I think I could leave the machine part of the vacuum in one room and just extend the hose into the next room to vacuum her. That way it won't be so noisy and scary for her.
Good grief, I never would have thought that I'd have such enthusiasm for a vacuum cleaner.
I could do without people smoking their fucking cigarettes upwind from me at the baseball games. I mean, really, can you not go a mothergrabbing hour without a cigarette while watching your kid play a game? I'd rather look over and see someone shooting up heroin - at least that way I wouldn't have to ingest any of it secondhand.
Sweety had to leave before the end of the game and their cuntofamother wasn't able to come so guess who was in charge of the boys after the game? *see me waving my hand wildly*
I made Sweety call COAM to see if it was okay if I took the boys to a movie and she kind of hemmed and hawed about it and told Sweety if the boys wanted to then it was okay. I don't think she needs to know that the boys spent 30 minutes pestering me to convince me that it would be okay for them to stay away from her house for awhile and that she could visit with them tomorrow. I'd originally told them that I was taking them right home after the game since it was her weekend.
We had fun after the game. Went to eat CiCi's Pizza and then saw The Astronaut Farmer. Nice show. I actually teared up a little bit. My PMSish hormones are in overdrive. Then I dropped them off at their COAM's house and came home to vacuum.
I love to vacuum! It's neat because it's not heavy at all and the new vacuum even does wood floors and tile! I just vacuumed the whole damn house! I'm gonna figure out some way to vacuum Stinky dog. I think I could leave the machine part of the vacuum in one room and just extend the hose into the next room to vacuum her. That way it won't be so noisy and scary for her.
Good grief, I never would have thought that I'd have such enthusiasm for a vacuum cleaner.
3/1/07
Behold! The Dyson has landed!
The vacuum cleaner that we ordered the other night is here! I've never been so excited to open a box before!
See!
And looky here! Glitter! I love glitter!
It came with a tiny toy Dyson vacuum cleaner! I wanted to give it away but Sweety said that we were going to put it up and give to our kid (when we have one). So that's one more thing to clutter up the crawlspace in the attic.
And now down to the nut cutting...
This thing sucks like nobody's business! I vacummed once and emptied out the huge Stinky hairball that was collected and the second time I vacuumed I got a bunch of sand that was buried in the carpet. I am very pleased with it.
Let me tell you someting really stupid that I did. I mentioned my failed attempt to get my blog approved by payperpost. I'd been keeping a tiny journal up on MySpace and decided that I'd start a new Blogger blog (and do whore posts on it) and just tell my friends on MySpace where it is. The people on my MySpace page are all people I know in real life and you can find the MySpace page by searching for my email address and since the ExWife knows that then it would be possible for her to find it if she was snooping.
I decided to use this same template but tweak it a bit. You know the dancing kitty on the bottom of the page that brings you to the main page here? Well, I forgot to change the url on the new blog so it was leading to this blog. Thankfully, only one person clicked over here before I found and fixed the error. And I'm pretty sure the person that followed it over here wasn't the EW. I'd rather not have her turn up here because I'd hate to move when I've just gotten everything just so.
See!
And looky here! Glitter! I love glitter!
It came with a tiny toy Dyson vacuum cleaner! I wanted to give it away but Sweety said that we were going to put it up and give to our kid (when we have one). So that's one more thing to clutter up the crawlspace in the attic.
And now down to the nut cutting...
This thing sucks like nobody's business! I vacummed once and emptied out the huge Stinky hairball that was collected and the second time I vacuumed I got a bunch of sand that was buried in the carpet. I am very pleased with it.
Let me tell you someting really stupid that I did. I mentioned my failed attempt to get my blog approved by payperpost. I'd been keeping a tiny journal up on MySpace and decided that I'd start a new Blogger blog (and do whore posts on it) and just tell my friends on MySpace where it is. The people on my MySpace page are all people I know in real life and you can find the MySpace page by searching for my email address and since the ExWife knows that then it would be possible for her to find it if she was snooping.
I decided to use this same template but tweak it a bit. You know the dancing kitty on the bottom of the page that brings you to the main page here? Well, I forgot to change the url on the new blog so it was leading to this blog. Thankfully, only one person clicked over here before I found and fixed the error. And I'm pretty sure the person that followed it over here wasn't the EW. I'd rather not have her turn up here because I'd hate to move when I've just gotten everything just so.
Where's my RSS feed?
Does anyone know how I'd enable my blog for RSS feeds? Under "settings" and "site feed" I've chosen the options to enable it fully but I've been told that you can't get it through RSS feed.
I spent some time goofing with it trying to get it to work with feedburner.com but couldn't get it to work. I can see it in Bloglines though.
I remember in Old Blogger there was a button that said something like "enable rss or atom feed" but that's nowhere to be found in the New Blogger dashboard.
This has gotten my goat.
But a big "Yay, me!" because I finally figured out how to fix my "Bee's Knees" linkage so those blogs open in a new window! This may be small potatoes to some, but to my computer illiterate self it was a major breakthrough.
I spent some time goofing with it trying to get it to work with feedburner.com but couldn't get it to work. I can see it in Bloglines though.
I remember in Old Blogger there was a button that said something like "enable rss or atom feed" but that's nowhere to be found in the New Blogger dashboard.
This has gotten my goat.
But a big "Yay, me!" because I finally figured out how to fix my "Bee's Knees" linkage so those blogs open in a new window! This may be small potatoes to some, but to my computer illiterate self it was a major breakthrough.
It's Thursday!
I'd gotten tired of going to get acrylic nails put on every couple of weeks and decided to grow my own nails awhile back. That lasted about 3 months before I gnawed them all off.
So, do you know what I've been doing while at work on Sundays?
Gluing those damn things on myself! It only take about 20 minutes and for $7 my hands don't look like monkey hands for at least a month! The problem that I've ran into was accidentally gluing my hand to the mouse but that only happened once.
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!
So, do you know what I've been doing while at work on Sundays?
Gluing those damn things on myself! It only take about 20 minutes and for $7 my hands don't look like monkey hands for at least a month! The problem that I've ran into was accidentally gluing my hand to the mouse but that only happened once.
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!
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