Have you ever done something phenomenally stupid but realized it in time to avert a problem?
Geez, my stomach hurts.
2/28/07
A Neat Thing
I found this over at Regal's blog. You pick out the pictures that you like and a little analysis is done on your personality. I was really surprised at how accurate mine was!
Random
I went and got my eyebrows and upper lip waxed this morning. The lady kinda went overboard with the lip waxing and did pretty much the whole bottom half of my face. It feels all weird and I can't quit rubbing it.
BigBrother has to get a physical today in order to play baseball so I'll pick him up after school lets out and then zoom on over to the doctor's office. Sweety'll meet us there and go with him. I don't want to be the one that's around if they do the whole "turn your head to the side and cough" thing with him.
Sweety's been working a lot more than usual since November. I'm sick of it. I'll be glad when things are back on an even keel at his workplace so he's around more. He's gone when we wake up and home late and has to go back to work some nights. And he's tired and grouchy a lot now. I know the schedule is wearing him down too.
LittleBrother is a Pokemon fiend and I told him yesterday that I'd buy him a card off of eBay but it needed to be within a certain price range. He picked out a card and it was like 2 bucks yesterday and now (with 57 minutes left in the auction) it's 13! I'm trying to decide if it's worth sniping.
For awhile I bought a lot of things off of eBay. Mostly dog clothes. It was nice getting mail. I think I'll go see if I can find anything that tickles my fancy.
BigBrother has to get a physical today in order to play baseball so I'll pick him up after school lets out and then zoom on over to the doctor's office. Sweety'll meet us there and go with him. I don't want to be the one that's around if they do the whole "turn your head to the side and cough" thing with him.
Sweety's been working a lot more than usual since November. I'm sick of it. I'll be glad when things are back on an even keel at his workplace so he's around more. He's gone when we wake up and home late and has to go back to work some nights. And he's tired and grouchy a lot now. I know the schedule is wearing him down too.
LittleBrother is a Pokemon fiend and I told him yesterday that I'd buy him a card off of eBay but it needed to be within a certain price range. He picked out a card and it was like 2 bucks yesterday and now (with 57 minutes left in the auction) it's 13! I'm trying to decide if it's worth sniping.
For awhile I bought a lot of things off of eBay. Mostly dog clothes. It was nice getting mail. I think I'll go see if I can find anything that tickles my fancy.
2/27/07
It's Hot :(
This is what beamed down on me while I waited 45 minutes for BigBrother to get out of school. 82 freaking degrees. In February. February!
The canines are loving it though. It's not hot enough to start conditioning the air so I'll leave the doors open and they can wander outside whenever they want to. Tiny dog has been spending a lot of time working on her tan.
If you eat garlic shrimp for lunch and it comes from a drive thru and you leave the sack full of little garlic shrimp butts in your car while you finish your shift - an odor unlike no other will assail you upon opening the door 5 hours later. I may never eat that stuff again.
When you go to the chiropractor, they have you lie face-down on a bed. All I can think while I'm there is "This would be the perfect time for someone to stab me to death." When I'm driving there now, I always check the rear-view mirror for potential people that might be following me and waiting for me to be all vulnerable at the doctor's office. I should start wearing disguises to the appointments.
Audience Participation!
I dinked with the template a bit. Does anything look weird to you?
What are your favorite books?
What are your favorite books?
2/25/07
Ear Rape
Some sicko called Customer Service Land tonight. He was whacking off while on the phone with me. I thought that's what he was doing from the way he sounded and my suspicions were confirmed when he started to tell me about it.
It was the same guy that used to call when I worked overnight and ask girls what kind of shoes did they have on and what sort of polish was on their toes.
My ear feels dirty. I hope his pecker falls off.
It was the same guy that used to call when I worked overnight and ask girls what kind of shoes did they have on and what sort of polish was on their toes.
My ear feels dirty. I hope his pecker falls off.
2/24/07
Hola!
Guess what we bought off of tv tonight? A fucking vacuum cleaner! I think it's funny as hell that Sweety can call HSN (and have no fucking CREDIT CARD OR METHOD OF PAYMENT IN HAND! THEY JUST BILLED IT TO HIS CREDIT CARD FROM HIS PHONE NUMBER!)
I'm gonna go suck his dick now since there is a Dyson vacuum cleaner on the way. (When it gets here though IT will suck his dick.)
Joey and Mike : I do apoligize for any inconvienece. If I'm drinking, your blogs are the ones that I think of. I dunno why that is.
PS You wouldn't believe how much proofreading it took to get this shit online. Really. My eyes are all burny.
I've mentioned Sweety's Home Shopping Nework addiction here & here.
I'm gonna go suck his dick now since there is a Dyson vacuum cleaner on the way. (When it gets here though IT will suck his dick.)
Joey and Mike : I do apoligize for any inconvienece. If I'm drinking, your blogs are the ones that I think of. I dunno why that is.
PS You wouldn't believe how much proofreading it took to get this shit online. Really. My eyes are all burny.
I've mentioned Sweety's Home Shopping Nework addiction here & here.
Shut Your Piehole!
I never tell the boys to "Shut up!" but today, oh today, it was all over my tongue. I don't know if they were extra picky with each other or if I was extra sensitive but I just about lost my damn mind.
I think I'm fixing to indulge in a cube of vino (heh, doesn't that sound soooo much classier than "drink a box of wine"?).
How do I know that Sweety loves me? He had that all ready to go for me by the time I got finished telling the little hellions a bedtime story. And the best part? He had a straw for me! I've mentioned that I can't drink without making a mess unless I have one and I thought that we didn't have any but he scrounged one up for me! Yay, Sweety!
And what would a Saturday night post be without a gratuitious dog photo?
I think I'm fixing to indulge in a cube of vino (heh, doesn't that sound soooo much classier than "drink a box of wine"?).
How do I know that Sweety loves me? He had that all ready to go for me by the time I got finished telling the little hellions a bedtime story. And the best part? He had a straw for me! I've mentioned that I can't drink without making a mess unless I have one and I thought that we didn't have any but he scrounged one up for me! Yay, Sweety!
And what would a Saturday night post be without a gratuitious dog photo?
Random
Vagisil. I don't think I could buy any of that. Even if my coochie burned like 1000 ants had bitten it. The name is just too off-putting. If I ever really need some, I think I'll shoplift it.
I love orange Tic-Tacs. They taste the best if you buy a box and then forget about them for a few weeks so they're kind of chewy when you eat them. I got a box for Christmas once and forgot about them for 4 years. When I found them I thought "Wow, these have REALLY aged! I'll bet they taste great!" I discovered something after waiting all day long to settle down and eat my delicacy while I read a book - four year old Tic-Tacs taste like shit with orange zest in it. I was really bummed that they didn't taste fantastic. I guess Tic-Tacs don't age well like cheese or wine.
My sister's husband is in the military and is going to be stationed in either Alaska or Georgia for about the next year. If they go to Georgia my fantastic little niece will only be about 4 hours away! If they go to Alaska, I will become Chi Chi's caretaker. She's just too old to live somewhere that the weather is 68 below zero.
I'm been hankering for another Chihuahua and Chi Chi isn't quite what I had in mind but she'll do. I wanted a little puppy that was bald and that I could pet all of the time. Chi Chi meets that criteria but she is also senile or suffering from a bit of doggy dementia. I think as long as I kept giving Tiny attention that she'll be okay with an addition. And if not, at least she doesn't have thumbs. Without those, I don't think she'd be able to set fire to the house or do anything too bad to me in retaliation.
I love orange Tic-Tacs. They taste the best if you buy a box and then forget about them for a few weeks so they're kind of chewy when you eat them. I got a box for Christmas once and forgot about them for 4 years. When I found them I thought "Wow, these have REALLY aged! I'll bet they taste great!" I discovered something after waiting all day long to settle down and eat my delicacy while I read a book - four year old Tic-Tacs taste like shit with orange zest in it. I was really bummed that they didn't taste fantastic. I guess Tic-Tacs don't age well like cheese or wine.
My sister's husband is in the military and is going to be stationed in either Alaska or Georgia for about the next year. If they go to Georgia my fantastic little niece will only be about 4 hours away! If they go to Alaska, I will become Chi Chi's caretaker. She's just too old to live somewhere that the weather is 68 below zero.
I'm been hankering for another Chihuahua and Chi Chi isn't quite what I had in mind but she'll do. I wanted a little puppy that was bald and that I could pet all of the time. Chi Chi meets that criteria but she is also senile or suffering from a bit of doggy dementia. I think as long as I kept giving Tiny attention that she'll be okay with an addition. And if not, at least she doesn't have thumbs. Without those, I don't think she'd be able to set fire to the house or do anything too bad to me in retaliation.
2/22/07
Luck
(me) Hey, don't you a big day coming up at work? Closing on land? When is that?
(sweety) Yup, March 12.
Really? No kidding, March 12? That's my Grandma's birthday!
Then it must be good luck for me!
Nah, I don't think so.
Why not?
Well, she's dead. It wasn't good luck for her.
I can't believe the shit that comes out of your mouth sometimes.
(sweety) Yup, March 12.
Really? No kidding, March 12? That's my Grandma's birthday!
Then it must be good luck for me!
Nah, I don't think so.
Why not?
Well, she's dead. It wasn't good luck for her.
I can't believe the shit that comes out of your mouth sometimes.
2/21/07
At Odds
As I've mentioned, my biological clock is starting to tick.
Our "master plan" for the past 6 years has been that when the boys grow up that we will move to Oklahoma. We've even already bought a lot there to put our new house one. Our house with an atrium where I can sit with my herd of chihuahuas while I drink tea.
But my wanting to procreate has thrown a monkey wrench in that plan.
If we have a baby then Sweety said that we have to stay in Florida.
I hate it here. It's too hot. There are too many people. I'm too far away from my family.
I keep thinking that Sweety is just kidding when he tells me that we can't leave if we breed but he's not showing any signs of joking. He says that we'd have to stay so he could keep working to support us all. There's no way that he could make the kind of money that he is now in the place in Oklahoma that we'd be moving to. As he put it "I'll be in my prime earning years! I can't leave if I have more mouths to feed!" And I do see his point. But I think that we could live in Oklahoma.
I think part of the fun of having kids would be having them around my Mom and sister. Agh. I don't know.
OldOldLady of the Hills doesn't have any kids and she has a great life! I'd be okay if I could be like her when I grew up. Heh, speaking of her reminds me of something funny...
When she first started commenting here, I was kind of afraid that I might say something offensive and freak her out. So one night, after I read a post of hers where she used the f-word, I sent her an email telling her "Thanks for cussing! It makes me feel better cussing on my blog since I've seen that you do!"
Good grief, now you all know what a big dork I am.
I better go monitor the progress of my meat kit. I'll post an update after dinner. Hopefully, we can all choke it down.
Update: Don't buy meat in a box. The meat part was okay but the vegetable pack that came with it was disgusting. The veggies tasted like salty dirt. Stinky & Tiny feasted on the stuff that we couldn't eat.
Our "master plan" for the past 6 years has been that when the boys grow up that we will move to Oklahoma. We've even already bought a lot there to put our new house one. Our house with an atrium where I can sit with my herd of chihuahuas while I drink tea.
But my wanting to procreate has thrown a monkey wrench in that plan.
If we have a baby then Sweety said that we have to stay in Florida.
I hate it here. It's too hot. There are too many people. I'm too far away from my family.
I keep thinking that Sweety is just kidding when he tells me that we can't leave if we breed but he's not showing any signs of joking. He says that we'd have to stay so he could keep working to support us all. There's no way that he could make the kind of money that he is now in the place in Oklahoma that we'd be moving to. As he put it "I'll be in my prime earning years! I can't leave if I have more mouths to feed!" And I do see his point. But I think that we could live in Oklahoma.
I think part of the fun of having kids would be having them around my Mom and sister. Agh. I don't know.
OldOldLady of the Hills doesn't have any kids and she has a great life! I'd be okay if I could be like her when I grew up. Heh, speaking of her reminds me of something funny...
When she first started commenting here, I was kind of afraid that I might say something offensive and freak her out. So one night, after I read a post of hers where she used the f-word, I sent her an email telling her "Thanks for cussing! It makes me feel better cussing on my blog since I've seen that you do!"
Good grief, now you all know what a big dork I am.
I better go monitor the progress of my meat kit. I'll post an update after dinner. Hopefully, we can all choke it down.
Update: Don't buy meat in a box. The meat part was okay but the vegetable pack that came with it was disgusting. The veggies tasted like salty dirt. Stinky & Tiny feasted on the stuff that we couldn't eat.
Flashback
Another meme of sorts, shamelessley stolen from Thomas. (I think I took my last meme from him too. He digs up some interesting stuff.)
Anyways, the gist of it is that you take the first line from the first blog post of each month of the previous year and you get a story (kind of).
Somtimes my first posts were just pictures or something telling you to go look at something so I skipped those and picked the next days.
Well, I did something stupid.
For the longest time, I was very picky about the kind of toilet paper I used (had to be 2-ply and fluffy) but then I realized how many rolls I was going through in a week and decided to change.
Most days the kids' voices when they pick at each other are white noise; This was not the case yesterday.
Things that I want no part of:
1) I NEVER EVER EVER need to see Sweety stick his finger in his ear and then feed earwax to Tiny dog.
We took the dogs to the Paw Park this weekend.
In 2 months and 6 days, I will be 30. Woo hoo.
I was at my friend's house on the 4th (the friend with the blind, eyeless dog) and for fun we decided to dye her dogs blue and red.
Just been busy sucking all the fun out of the niece's last days here.
I feel so sorry for the neighbor's dog.
Make sure you check to see if the outside garage door is open before you stroll naked into the garage to get clothes out of the dryer.
I'm cleaning out the icebox and I think some sort of evolutionary process has begun on the bottom shelf.
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile.
Mine makes absolutely no sense but it was nice to pick through the archives and see what I was doing back then.
Anyways, the gist of it is that you take the first line from the first blog post of each month of the previous year and you get a story (kind of).
Somtimes my first posts were just pictures or something telling you to go look at something so I skipped those and picked the next days.
Well, I did something stupid.
For the longest time, I was very picky about the kind of toilet paper I used (had to be 2-ply and fluffy) but then I realized how many rolls I was going through in a week and decided to change.
Most days the kids' voices when they pick at each other are white noise; This was not the case yesterday.
Things that I want no part of:
1) I NEVER EVER EVER need to see Sweety stick his finger in his ear and then feed earwax to Tiny dog.
We took the dogs to the Paw Park this weekend.
In 2 months and 6 days, I will be 30. Woo hoo.
I was at my friend's house on the 4th (the friend with the blind, eyeless dog) and for fun we decided to dye her dogs blue and red.
Just been busy sucking all the fun out of the niece's last days here.
I feel so sorry for the neighbor's dog.
Make sure you check to see if the outside garage door is open before you stroll naked into the garage to get clothes out of the dryer.
I'm cleaning out the icebox and I think some sort of evolutionary process has begun on the bottom shelf.
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile.
Mine makes absolutely no sense but it was nice to pick through the archives and see what I was doing back then.
2/20/07
The One Where I Bore You To Death
I mentioned that last Wednesday I shampooed the carpet. What I didn't mention was that 2 hours were spent doing said activity. And during one of those hours I wasn't using the cleaner stuff on the carpet. Just water. Because I'm a dumbass. Tomorrow I'll get to do it again but I'll make sure that the machine is turned on properly every time I get ready to use it.
Son of a bitch. I swear, I had something to talk about and it just flew out of my head when I turned on the computer.
Hey! Speaking of computer...
I got the laptop back! Woo hoo! It only took 2 weeks to get it fixed when I'd been told 2.5. They had to replace the hard drive. Between you and me, I think I know what contributed to the hard drive's demise.
I have a bad habit oflying laying lounging in bed while using the computer. I have my knees in the air (covered with a blanket) and put the laptop on my lap. I'm pretty sure that this caused it to overheat. No, I take that back, I'm positive it caused it to overheat. The computer started to run really slow and the mouse wouldn't always work. (Those mice are lazy little bastards!) One night, Sweety was trying to get his fix of Spider Solitaire and when the computer froze up - he slammed it shut. I think the slamming was the straw that broke the camel's back because after that it wouldn't come on anymore.
I bought meat in a box today. I'm kind of embarrassed. It's a kit that has a roast and vegetables and seasonings in it. When I cook, I need directions and this appealed to me because it had very clear directions on the box as to how to cook the contents. I tried to hide it in the icebox because I know that Sweety is going to give me shit about it when he sees it.
Stinky dog is driving me nuts today. She is especially needy today. Like, all-up-in-my-face-when-I'm-sitting-down-poking-me-in-the-chest-with-her-big-paw kind of needy. Oh yuck. She just left a big, juicy Basset hound eye booger on my shirt. Where is Tiny dog? I need her to lick it off.
Son of a bitch. I swear, I had something to talk about and it just flew out of my head when I turned on the computer.
Hey! Speaking of computer...
I got the laptop back! Woo hoo! It only took 2 weeks to get it fixed when I'd been told 2.5. They had to replace the hard drive. Between you and me, I think I know what contributed to the hard drive's demise.
I have a bad habit of
I bought meat in a box today. I'm kind of embarrassed. It's a kit that has a roast and vegetables and seasonings in it. When I cook, I need directions and this appealed to me because it had very clear directions on the box as to how to cook the contents. I tried to hide it in the icebox because I know that Sweety is going to give me shit about it when he sees it.
Stinky dog is driving me nuts today. She is especially needy today. Like, all-up-in-my-face-when-I'm-sitting-down-poking-me-in-the-chest-with-her-big-paw kind of needy. Oh yuck. She just left a big, juicy Basset hound eye booger on my shirt. Where is Tiny dog? I need her to lick it off.
2/18/07
Too Lazy For A Title
Sweety and I did end up going out for dinner on Valentine's Day. We got there early and the food was great but the service sucked royally. I can handle shitty service but not cold food so I'm not complaining.
As you may (or may not) know, the Daytona 500 race was this weekend and we saw the funniest thing on our way home the other night. You know those big electronic signs that are put up on the side of the road to let people know that there's construction ahead? Some guy changed the signs to read "NASCAR SUCKS - GO HOME". I laughed my ass of at that. We saw the guy that was doing it. He was parking his truck away from the signs and then walking up to change them. The messages didn't stay up too long and were gone when I was driving home from work tonight.
Have you ever looked at something you've written and said "Damn, that just doesn't look right?" I'm having a lot of that in this post. And I'm too tired to fix anything. I think my grammar is getting worser as I age.
As you may (or may not) know, the Daytona 500 race was this weekend and we saw the funniest thing on our way home the other night. You know those big electronic signs that are put up on the side of the road to let people know that there's construction ahead? Some guy changed the signs to read "NASCAR SUCKS - GO HOME". I laughed my ass of at that. We saw the guy that was doing it. He was parking his truck away from the signs and then walking up to change them. The messages didn't stay up too long and were gone when I was driving home from work tonight.
Have you ever looked at something you've written and said "Damn, that just doesn't look right?" I'm having a lot of that in this post. And I'm too tired to fix anything. I think my grammar is getting worser as I age.
2/14/07
Happy Valentine's Day!
Don't you wish you could find some hearts like this?Today I shampooed the living room carpet. Ohmyword, it was truly horrid. The best part of it all was when I was in the kitchen, putting new water in the water bucket for the thing, and I looked out and saw Tiny dog munching on the Stinky dog hairwads that were in the bottom of the cleaner. Can we say "Fucking gross!"? Agh, it'll be awhile before I let her kiss me again.
The second best part was when I started to sprint out there to stop her and my wet sneakers hit the wooden floor and I slid aways before gaining my footing. I think that slide took at least 3 years off of my life.
Sweety mentioned going out to eat tonight but I don't know that I feel like it. I'm all grubby from messing with the floor and anywhere you go is going to be crowded tonight. Eh, we'll see.
I wonder if Bekah has squeezed out her baby yet? I can't wait to see pictures of her! I've been doing really good with getting my baby fixes here and here but it will be nice to have a fresh baby to ogle for awhile.
2/13/07
Mission Accomplished!
I just made it back from the local pharmacy where I delivered beatdowns to anyone that stood between me and the perfect Valentine's Day cards and candy! And (oh this is the best part!) I had coupons for my purchases!
You know those people that you get behind in line at the store that have coupons to use and they take forever? Today, I was one of those folks. I had 3 coupons to use but couldn't use any of them together. So I had to ring up everything in 3 separate purchases. I just pretended that I didn't see all of the people seething behind me in line while I took forever and a day to checkout. Usually, I'm one of those people in line and decided that today was my day to take advantage of my coupons!
I was also pissed off because I realized that I had a $5 off coupon that had expired yesterday and decided to use all the coupons that I had to get back at them.
Oh lovely, I hear the sprogs arguing over what they're going to watch on television. They have the voices of angels. Listening to them makes me want to go eat all of the candy that I just bought for them for Valentine's Day.
You know those people that you get behind in line at the store that have coupons to use and they take forever? Today, I was one of those folks. I had 3 coupons to use but couldn't use any of them together. So I had to ring up everything in 3 separate purchases. I just pretended that I didn't see all of the people seething behind me in line while I took forever and a day to checkout. Usually, I'm one of those people in line and decided that today was my day to take advantage of my coupons!
I was also pissed off because I realized that I had a $5 off coupon that had expired yesterday and decided to use all the coupons that I had to get back at them.
Oh lovely, I hear the sprogs arguing over what they're going to watch on television. They have the voices of angels. Listening to them makes me want to go eat all of the candy that I just bought for them for Valentine's Day.
Whoring, Meme & Etc.
Yesterday, my blog was blog of the day at Fuelmyblog. I mentioned this site in a post awhile back when I first put my blog up on it. There's this whole wall of icons and you can put up an icon for your blog and people can get to it that way. There are no more spaces available on the main page but you can still put an icon up on the More, Business, Life, and All Sorts walls.
I wish I'd known that my blog was going to be picked yesterday. I feel sorry for anyone that clicked through to here and the first introduction they got to my site was a post about necrophiliac bestiality. (Is bestiality just sex with mammals or does it cover reptiles too? I couldn't find the answer to that.)
Thomas over at Doom Cake was kind enough to tag me with a meme - 6 Weird Things About Me. Well, I've been tagged with this sort of thing before and thought I'd regurgitate those answers...
And one, shiny, new weird thing!
I haven't polished my toes since November 8, 2006. I did them before I went to Texas for my friend's funeral and all of it has worn off except for my big toes. I look at it and go "Hey! That polish has been to Texas!" and can't bring myself to scrub it off for a new pedicure. I've been wearing socks to keep Sweety from being subjected to the remaining 8 unpolished toes. Maybe I will polish them for Valentine's Day.
Have you ever been to a chiropracter? Sweet-8-and-a-half-pound-baby-Jesus-with-nothing-on-but-a-golden-fleece-lined-diaper, that is some freaky stuff. I don't know that I like hearing all of my bones crack. I need to go recline and let my body settle back to where it belongs.
Added minutes after publishing...
Holy crap! The canines are chasing each other through the house and Stinky dog just slammed into a wall like a ton of bricks! (Okay, maybe not a ton. Like 43 pounds of bricks!) She seems to have shaken off the impact and has abandoned the game of tag for a nap instead.
I knew that everyone would want to hear about Stinky & Tiny's latest mishap while it was still fresh. I hope she doesn't have a concussion.
I wish I'd known that my blog was going to be picked yesterday. I feel sorry for anyone that clicked through to here and the first introduction they got to my site was a post about necrophiliac bestiality. (Is bestiality just sex with mammals or does it cover reptiles too? I couldn't find the answer to that.)
Thomas over at Doom Cake was kind enough to tag me with a meme - 6 Weird Things About Me. Well, I've been tagged with this sort of thing before and thought I'd regurgitate those answers...
1. When eating sunflower seeds I eat the shell too.
2. I brush my tongue til I gag when I brush my teeth. If I haven't gagged then I'm not done brushing my teeth.
3. I groom my eyebrows obsessively. I want to make sure that they're all pointing in the right direction. No wild hairs that are brushed down or sticking out. Sweety's noticed this habit and now when he's getting ready to go somewhere, he'll make a fist, lick the side of his hand, and groom his whole head like he's a cat. I love watching him do that. Funny as hell.
4. Chewing gum is always swallowed at the end of its usefulness with me.
5. I wash out empty food containers and dry them in the sink before they are thrown away or put in the recycle bin. I think I got this habit from my Grandma. Clean trash just looks nicer to me.
6. When dining in a restaurant I can't eat until everything is arranged just right on the table. Nothing pleases me more than having a seat by the window so I can put all of our trash bits (straw wrappers, sugar packets, etc.) on the windowsill and off the table. And I like for everyone to clean their plate so I can stack the dirty dishes up neatly.
7. If the neighbors are outside I'll refrain from going out til they go inside. Even if this means not checking the mail or making the dogs hold their bladders shut. And if I happen to be out when the neighbors come out I have to stifle the urge to sprint indoors. I just don't like talking to people.
8. When eating Snickers Ice Cream bars I have a set method for it:
Carefully pick off the frozen chocolate shell.
Lick out the frozen peanuts.
Eat the ice cream bar that's left in 5 bites.
9. When I'm drinking something I always take 5 big swallows with the first drink.
And one, shiny, new weird thing!
I haven't polished my toes since November 8, 2006. I did them before I went to Texas for my friend's funeral and all of it has worn off except for my big toes. I look at it and go "Hey! That polish has been to Texas!" and can't bring myself to scrub it off for a new pedicure. I've been wearing socks to keep Sweety from being subjected to the remaining 8 unpolished toes. Maybe I will polish them for Valentine's Day.
Have you ever been to a chiropracter? Sweet-8-and-a-half-pound-baby-Jesus-with-nothing-on-but-a-golden-fleece-lined-diaper, that is some freaky stuff. I don't know that I like hearing all of my bones crack. I need to go recline and let my body settle back to where it belongs.
Added minutes after publishing...
Holy crap! The canines are chasing each other through the house and Stinky dog just slammed into a wall like a ton of bricks! (Okay, maybe not a ton. Like 43 pounds of bricks!) She seems to have shaken off the impact and has abandoned the game of tag for a nap instead.
I knew that everyone would want to hear about Stinky & Tiny's latest mishap while it was still fresh. I hope she doesn't have a concussion.
2/11/07
WTF?
I've got a confession.
Okaaaaay.
I like turtle sex.
Huh? Turtle sex? What's that?
You know - you find a nice turtle and core it out and then give it a poke. Nice, hot turtle...mmmmm.
And then he ran off to get himself a bowl of ice cream. What the hell goes on in the mind of the man that I married? I guess if I ever catch him fucking a turtle carcass that I can't say that I wasn't warned.
Okaaaaay.
I like turtle sex.
Huh? Turtle sex? What's that?
You know - you find a nice turtle and core it out and then give it a poke. Nice, hot turtle...mmmmm.
And then he ran off to get himself a bowl of ice cream. What the hell goes on in the mind of the man that I married? I guess if I ever catch him fucking a turtle carcass that I can't say that I wasn't warned.
2/10/07
Walking Tall
It is my goal to have Tiny walking on just her hind legs by the end of the year. She's getting there!
2/9/07
Tasty!
Have you ever wondered where those little candy-conversation hearts really come from?
Wonder no more!
Wonder no more!
2/8/07
Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!
I can't drink anything without a straw. I'll make a mess and end up dribbling stuff on my shirt. The other night, I couldn't find any straws but did remember that I'd thrown a cup away earlier in the day that had a straw in it. So I went looking for it. Luckily, it wasn't too far in the garbage can.
You can thank Sweety's keen eye for such a lovely photo.
Happy HNT!
You can thank Sweety's keen eye for such a lovely photo.
Happy HNT!
2/7/07
Spinning My Wheels
Ever had a bunch of shit to do and just didn't even want to start it? Right now I'm listening to the freshly bathed canines play chase all through the house. I guess getting clean put some pep in their step.
The boys have baseball tryouts this weekend. We're going to see if LittleBrother(10) is ready to play on the same team as his brother (the 12 year old league) because it makes games a helluva lot easier if we only have one to go to. If he's not, then Sweety is going to coach LB's team. When Sweety told me about that I said, "Oh, that'll be fun for him." And Sweety said, "You'll be Team Mom, right?" Oh. Hell. No. I hate stuff like that. Having to talk to all of the parents and make sure all the kids are in order in the dugout and that everyone knows what's going on - I'd really rather eat broken glass. So I told Sweety no and that maybe his cuntofanexwife could be Team Mom (you know, since she is the boys' mom an all). But I know that shit won't happen so I'll be stuck with it. Agh. I hate dealing with people. I am so keeping my fingers crossed that LB will be on the same team as BigBrother so this won't be an issue.
I better get moving and get some things done.
The boys have baseball tryouts this weekend. We're going to see if LittleBrother(10) is ready to play on the same team as his brother (the 12 year old league) because it makes games a helluva lot easier if we only have one to go to. If he's not, then Sweety is going to coach LB's team. When Sweety told me about that I said, "Oh, that'll be fun for him." And Sweety said, "You'll be Team Mom, right?" Oh. Hell. No. I hate stuff like that. Having to talk to all of the parents and make sure all the kids are in order in the dugout and that everyone knows what's going on - I'd really rather eat broken glass. So I told Sweety no and that maybe his cuntofanexwife could be Team Mom (you know, since she is the boys' mom an all). But I know that shit won't happen so I'll be stuck with it. Agh. I hate dealing with people. I am so keeping my fingers crossed that LB will be on the same team as BigBrother so this won't be an issue.
I better get moving and get some things done.
2/6/07
My New Favorite Song
John Prine & Iris Dement
In Spite Of Ourselves
I know this song is several years old but WHY didn't anyone tell me that it existed sooner?
In Spite Of Ourselves
I know this song is several years old but WHY didn't anyone tell me that it existed sooner?
Not Much Here
I swear, I had a really fantastic idea for a great, witty, amazing post. It was all written out in my head on my way home and now it is gone. I wonder where it went? Probably off in the back corner of my mind dry-humping one of my bad ideas.
Ended up taking my laptop back to the store on Saturday. They said it would be ready in about 2.5 weeks. While I was there, I heard the tech tell someone that a computer would be ready in 1 to 2 hours but when he was questioned about it again minutes later, said it would be 5 to 6 hours. Since their sense of time is so skewed, I figure it'll be closer to a month before mine is ready.
I'm discovering that I like New Blogger! What a surprise. My favorite thing is that it tells you what posts comments are left on so you can go dispose of spam much more efficiently.
This was just begging to be shared...
Ended up taking my laptop back to the store on Saturday. They said it would be ready in about 2.5 weeks. While I was there, I heard the tech tell someone that a computer would be ready in 1 to 2 hours but when he was questioned about it again minutes later, said it would be 5 to 6 hours. Since their sense of time is so skewed, I figure it'll be closer to a month before mine is ready.
I'm discovering that I like New Blogger! What a surprise. My favorite thing is that it tells you what posts comments are left on so you can go dispose of spam much more efficiently.
This was just begging to be shared...
2/3/07
It's A New Record!
I drove 24.5 miles after my "almost out of gas" light came on!
Blogger has forced me over to the new and improved Blogger. Has anyone out there had any problems with the new Blogger?
Blogger has forced me over to the new and improved Blogger. Has anyone out there had any problems with the new Blogger?
Random Blah
How do you embarrass one Tiny dog?
1) Find a little doggy turd that she has so lovingly left on the floor.
2) Pick it up.
3) Walk to Tiny with it hidden in your hand while asking in a sing-song voice, "Do you want a treat? A yummy treat?!"
4) Let the dog get all excited and then throw the turd at her dancing feet.
All merriment ceases immediately and Tiny will slink off to the fartherest corner of the house with her ears burning in embarrassment and humiliation. Rotten little rat.
I'm trying to reformat the sonofabitching laptop in a last ditch effort to save it. If this doesn't work then I'll have to take it back to where we bought it for repair work. We have the extended warranty on it and if anything bad happens to it (dropped, soda spilled in it, etc.) then it is replaced at no additional charge. I am thisclose to just slamming it on the ground and getting a brand new one.
Well, rats. I was going to take some pictures of the canines because they are looking especially photogenic and realized if I do that that I can't do anything with them (like get them off the camera) because all of that software in on the laptop. (Damn, that sentence looks fucked up. Please forgive my mangling of the English language today.) Phooey.
Awhile back, I mentioned that I didn't despise my exhusband anymore and wanted him to have a nice life. I've come to the realization that no matter how well things may have turned out for me after our marriage ended that I'm probably always going to be a teeny bit resentful that he put me through that shit. Like, 2 percent of me is resentful. But this is only human, right?
I think I'm suffering from a mild case of the burn-outs. It seems like I'm either working or ferrying children back and forth to school. I'm tired of it. I think my insurance program pays for a 30 day stint in a rehab program. I'm considering of seeking help for an alcohol or drug dependency and going on vacation.
1) Find a little doggy turd that she has so lovingly left on the floor.
2) Pick it up.
3) Walk to Tiny with it hidden in your hand while asking in a sing-song voice, "Do you want a treat? A yummy treat?!"
4) Let the dog get all excited and then throw the turd at her dancing feet.
All merriment ceases immediately and Tiny will slink off to the fartherest corner of the house with her ears burning in embarrassment and humiliation. Rotten little rat.
I'm trying to reformat the sonofabitching laptop in a last ditch effort to save it. If this doesn't work then I'll have to take it back to where we bought it for repair work. We have the extended warranty on it and if anything bad happens to it (dropped, soda spilled in it, etc.) then it is replaced at no additional charge. I am thisclose to just slamming it on the ground and getting a brand new one.
Well, rats. I was going to take some pictures of the canines because they are looking especially photogenic and realized if I do that that I can't do anything with them (like get them off the camera) because all of that software in on the laptop. (Damn, that sentence looks fucked up. Please forgive my mangling of the English language today.) Phooey.
Awhile back, I mentioned that I didn't despise my exhusband anymore and wanted him to have a nice life. I've come to the realization that no matter how well things may have turned out for me after our marriage ended that I'm probably always going to be a teeny bit resentful that he put me through that shit. Like, 2 percent of me is resentful. But this is only human, right?
I think I'm suffering from a mild case of the burn-outs. It seems like I'm either working or ferrying children back and forth to school. I'm tired of it. I think my insurance program pays for a 30 day stint in a rehab program. I'm considering of seeking help for an alcohol or drug dependency and going on vacation.
2/2/07
Pirates Of Suburbia Go On Vacation!
They're getting tired of mayhem and kidnapping.
If LittleBrother ever sees this blog, he will kill me.
2/1/07
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