Thanks to all for your well wishes. Our trip went quite nicely. We are now the proud parents of a one acre lot, less than 1.5 miles away from the lake in Oklahoma. I can't wait to put a house on it in 10 years! Sweety's very excited over his new dual citizenship.
Over the last couple of days we had about 12 hours of alone time while driving. When we're on drives we almost never turn on the radio. I think neither of us wants to miss whatever bit of conversation the other may come up with. Case in point - I presented a question to Sweety: If you had to be any animal in the world but still have a human brain so you knew what was going on, what would you be?
For comfort purposes, he chose a house cat. He could poop in a box so he wouldn't have to depend on some lazy human to take him outside and could be self sufficient in the house.
I'd be a boy chimp. Preferably the leader of a group of chimps. A boy because it seems like as a girl human, sometimes we get shortchanged in the sex department and I can only imagine that girl chimps don't have much fun doing the deed. But I bet the boy ones do. I think it would be nice to keep my opposable thumbs and just lay around and let my peers pick off my lice.
When I got to telling Sweety the part about the lice picking, he turned the radio on and up really loud.
And if anyone feels like sharing, what kind of animal would you be with a human brain and why?
I have a sneaking suspicion that Tiny dog has been peeing on my comforter. She's toast if my thoughts are confirmed. So, Anne, what's your good idea to fix Tiny the next time she acts up? Do I need to buy any special supplies to prepare?
Our big painting of Starry Night is in! Now I only have to clear off the wall where I want it to go.
I must go retire. I haven't had any good sleep since Monday.
9/30/05
9/27/05
And They're Off!
Going to Oklahoma today to check out some land that we may buy. Woo hoo! Tonight, I will be following my Mom around her house. I cannot wait! The only thing I'm feeling guilty about is leaving the canines here but they can't go with us. Neighborgirl is coming over to feed them and give them some love. They'll manage til Thursday.
They're playing happily right now. They have no idea that in 2 hours I'll be locking their fuzzy asses in the bathroom for the next 2 days.
I forgot to take 2 birth control pills so this morning I had to double up. Forgot that the double dose of hormones makes me feel nausey. And I know that nausey isn't a real word. It's just shorter than nauseated.
Sweety just called to tell me that he saw a tiny chihuahua on the side of the road on his way to work. I told him to turn around and go get it but he said he didn't have time. I don't know what the purpose was in calling me. I'll be keeping an eye out for it when I'm on my drive to meet Sweety before catching the plane.
I guess I should go pack and get dressed.
Adios til Thursday or Friday!
They're playing happily right now. They have no idea that in 2 hours I'll be locking their fuzzy asses in the bathroom for the next 2 days.
I forgot to take 2 birth control pills so this morning I had to double up. Forgot that the double dose of hormones makes me feel nausey. And I know that nausey isn't a real word. It's just shorter than nauseated.
Sweety just called to tell me that he saw a tiny chihuahua on the side of the road on his way to work. I told him to turn around and go get it but he said he didn't have time. I don't know what the purpose was in calling me. I'll be keeping an eye out for it when I'm on my drive to meet Sweety before catching the plane.
I guess I should go pack and get dressed.
Adios til Thursday or Friday!
9/26/05
Conveniences
Moving to Florida gave me two very nice items, both of which I'd never had before. A garbage disposal and a dishwasher.
I've always know that I'd love a dishwasher but I'd never had an opinion on a disposal. Until I got one. I fucking love putting stuff in there. I accidentally broke the one that had been in the house for a decade before I moved in. I guess you can't put a whole potato in them. But see how much faith I had in the disposal? I just knew if I put that tuber in there that it would get all chopped up. Instead I started to smell something burning. And flowers. You can't put flowers in the disposal. What happens is they start to swing around violently and the part that's still hanging out of the disposal will start to fly off and you'll end up with flower bits on the walls and ceiling. And you can't fill the sink up with food and then turn the disposal on because it will cause a flood.
I love the garbage disposal. I need to give it a name.
I've always know that I'd love a dishwasher but I'd never had an opinion on a disposal. Until I got one. I fucking love putting stuff in there. I accidentally broke the one that had been in the house for a decade before I moved in. I guess you can't put a whole potato in them. But see how much faith I had in the disposal? I just knew if I put that tuber in there that it would get all chopped up. Instead I started to smell something burning. And flowers. You can't put flowers in the disposal. What happens is they start to swing around violently and the part that's still hanging out of the disposal will start to fly off and you'll end up with flower bits on the walls and ceiling. And you can't fill the sink up with food and then turn the disposal on because it will cause a flood.
I love the garbage disposal. I need to give it a name.
Funny Head
The bad thing about vodka is it has no taste when you mix it with Hawaiin Punch. This makes it easy to over imbibe, as I did Saturday night. Sweety insisted on taking a photo of my hungover self getting ready for work Sunday afternoon. I actually worked up a sweat tying my shoes.
I think this angle makes me look kind of like an elf.
I puked so much Saturday night that the little punching bag thing in the back of my throat flew out. Tiny dog ate it.
When I heard Sweety coming to the bathroom to check on me I didn't want him to see me with any stray vomit on my face so I washed it...
In the toilet.
Mental note to self: Next time, have no more than 3 drinks. Check.
I think this angle makes me look kind of like an elf.
I puked so much Saturday night that the little punching bag thing in the back of my throat flew out. Tiny dog ate it.
When I heard Sweety coming to the bathroom to check on me I didn't want him to see me with any stray vomit on my face so I washed it...
In the toilet.
Mental note to self: Next time, have no more than 3 drinks. Check.
9/24/05
Game Over
Thank you, oh mighty little league baseball gods, for bestowing a tie upon us. We didn't get stomped as I had predicted. It was a tie instead. I was sooooooo effing relieved. The tension in the car if a ballgame is lost can be cut with a knife. BB(10) really sulks up if they don't do good. LB(8) takes it just a wee bit better.
There was one lady in the stands whom I wanted to mute. She'd find out the name of whatever kid was out there and then shout directions. In a really whiny sort of voice. Instead of saying "concentrate on the ball", she'd say "connnnn-sinnnnn-traaaait on the BALL!" When she wasn't screaming from the stands like some kind of baseball guru with tourette's syndrome, she was busy evaluating the game while she smoked from beside the fence. Next ballgame I may wear my earplugs and just watch it without hearing all the extra noise.
While we were there I started feeling a little green around the gills and disappeared into the bathroom a couple of times. The EW came and asked me if I was sick because she'd noticed me being gone. (and in my head i'm thinking 'gee, i never personally expressed my condolences to you when your husband died.) I told her I wasn't feeling too hot and thanked her for her concern. Maybe if I could get past what a total cunt she was to me when I moved down here, we could be good buddies. (I know if Sweety reads this he will probably choke on his tongue) I must be getting soft in my old age. Or maybe I'm just feeling nice while I'm on the downhill slope of PMS.
The boys are getting to stay up a little late tonight. As a trade off I don't have to tell them a story or read to them.
You know that little piece of skin that attaches your bottom lip to your gum? I ripped mine the other night. I got really involved in some oral activity and damn near dislocated my jaw. Every now and then I try to really shine in the bedroom so he doesn't start wondering why he keeps me.
Oh goody! The sprogs are going to bed! Time for tequila and popcorn and t.v.!
There was one lady in the stands whom I wanted to mute. She'd find out the name of whatever kid was out there and then shout directions. In a really whiny sort of voice. Instead of saying "concentrate on the ball", she'd say "connnnn-sinnnnn-traaaait on the BALL!" When she wasn't screaming from the stands like some kind of baseball guru with tourette's syndrome, she was busy evaluating the game while she smoked from beside the fence. Next ballgame I may wear my earplugs and just watch it without hearing all the extra noise.
While we were there I started feeling a little green around the gills and disappeared into the bathroom a couple of times. The EW came and asked me if I was sick because she'd noticed me being gone. (and in my head i'm thinking 'gee, i never personally expressed my condolences to you when your husband died.) I told her I wasn't feeling too hot and thanked her for her concern. Maybe if I could get past what a total cunt she was to me when I moved down here, we could be good buddies. (I know if Sweety reads this he will probably choke on his tongue) I must be getting soft in my old age. Or maybe I'm just feeling nice while I'm on the downhill slope of PMS.
The boys are getting to stay up a little late tonight. As a trade off I don't have to tell them a story or read to them.
You know that little piece of skin that attaches your bottom lip to your gum? I ripped mine the other night. I got really involved in some oral activity and damn near dislocated my jaw. Every now and then I try to really shine in the bedroom so he doesn't start wondering why he keeps me.
Oh goody! The sprogs are going to bed! Time for tequila and popcorn and t.v.!
In Case the 100 Things List isn't Enough
Shamelessly stolen from Chuck , I present to you:
More Crap About Me
1. Legal First name? Anna
2. Were you named after anyone? Nope
3. Do you wish on stars? Not anymore
4. When did you last cry? Thursday
5. What is your favorite lunch meat? Ham
6. What is your birth date? August 7
7. What's your most embarrassing CD? Veggitales
8. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yeah, after I got to know me.
9. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Oh gee, fucking never.
10. What are your nicknames? Chickie. The dreaded "Anna Banana"
11. Would you bungee jump? Hell yeah!
12. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Only if I have to
13. Do you think that you are strong? No
14. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Moo-lennium Crunch by Blue Bell
15. Shoe Size? 7
16. Red or pink? Pink
17. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My hair
18. Who do you miss most? Having my friends living close by
19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Jeans and no shoes
20. What are you listening to right now? The football game on t.v. and the sprogs crashing around the house
21. What did you eat for breakfast? Ramen with hot paste and sesame seeds
22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Purple
23. What is the weather like right now? Sunny
24. Last person you talked to on the phone? A friend who is also my ex-MIL
25.The first things you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes
26. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Well, I stole it from Chuck's blog. The blog is good so he must be an okay guy.
27. Favorite Drink? Vodka, grape juice and sprite
28. Hair Color? Brown
29. Do you wear contacts? Yes
30. Favorite Food? Rice with Korean side dishes
31. Last Movie You Watched? Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
32. Favorite Day Of The Year? My anniversary, July 6
33. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Scary movies
34. Summer Or Winter? Winter - I hate being sweaty
35. Hugs OR Kisses? Hugs
36. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Pecan pie
37. Living Arrangements? In a house with 3 males and 2 dogs
38. What Books Are You Reading? All Over but the Shoutin' by Rick Bragg Graciously given to me by my friend, PM, from work.
39. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Don't have one
40.What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Nothing. I was at work.
41. Favorite Smells? Sweety out of the shower. Tiny dog under the cover.
42. Favorite junk food? Microwave popcorn and soda
43. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles
44. What's the farthest you've been from home? Korea
More Crap About Me
1. Legal First name? Anna
2. Were you named after anyone? Nope
3. Do you wish on stars? Not anymore
4. When did you last cry? Thursday
5. What is your favorite lunch meat? Ham
6. What is your birth date? August 7
7. What's your most embarrassing CD? Veggitales
8. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yeah, after I got to know me.
9. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Oh gee, fucking never.
10. What are your nicknames? Chickie. The dreaded "Anna Banana"
11. Would you bungee jump? Hell yeah!
12. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Only if I have to
13. Do you think that you are strong? No
14. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Moo-lennium Crunch by Blue Bell
15. Shoe Size? 7
16. Red or pink? Pink
17. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My hair
18. Who do you miss most? Having my friends living close by
19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Jeans and no shoes
20. What are you listening to right now? The football game on t.v. and the sprogs crashing around the house
21. What did you eat for breakfast? Ramen with hot paste and sesame seeds
22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Purple
23. What is the weather like right now? Sunny
24. Last person you talked to on the phone? A friend who is also my ex-MIL
25.The first things you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes
26. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Well, I stole it from Chuck's blog. The blog is good so he must be an okay guy.
27. Favorite Drink? Vodka, grape juice and sprite
28. Hair Color? Brown
29. Do you wear contacts? Yes
30. Favorite Food? Rice with Korean side dishes
31. Last Movie You Watched? Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
32. Favorite Day Of The Year? My anniversary, July 6
33. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Scary movies
34. Summer Or Winter? Winter - I hate being sweaty
35. Hugs OR Kisses? Hugs
36. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Pecan pie
37. Living Arrangements? In a house with 3 males and 2 dogs
38. What Books Are You Reading? All Over but the Shoutin' by Rick Bragg Graciously given to me by my friend, PM, from work.
39. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Don't have one
40.What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Nothing. I was at work.
41. Favorite Smells? Sweety out of the shower. Tiny dog under the cover.
42. Favorite junk food? Microwave popcorn and soda
43. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles
44. What's the farthest you've been from home? Korea
TGIF
I'm so stinking glad that Friday is OVER! Tomorrow the boys have a ballgame at 4:00. We'll get to bake and watch them get stomped. Their team is kind of Bad News Bears-ish. But you have to give them an "E" for effort.
Sweety got home today before I left for work. I'd just gotten up and Tiny was bouncing around in the bed all excited to hear his voice. I look over to see that in her joy she has pissed all over the bed. I knew she needed to go out and I was trying to get my clothes on to take her but she exploded first. I didn't tell Sweety why I was washing the sheets right before work. I asked him to wash the comforter when the sheets were done. I hope he didn't notice the pee on that.
I have a habit of eating leftovers and not knowing how old they are. As far as I'm concerned, if the food isn't fuzzy or smell funny then it's okay to eat. But I think I may have been broken from that. I ate some potato salad when I got in yesterday night and it was quite expired but I didn't notice. Sweety pointed it out after I sprinted to the bathroom and he saw the empty carton on the counter. I have truly never had such an unpleasant bathroom experience. No more potato salad for me.
Tiny dog has been hoarding my underwear. I found 4 pairs scattered around the house today. Perhaps that is the cause of my recent panty shortage.
Well, Sweety just came in here and scared the hell out of me. He thinks I don't love him since I came in from work and decided to play on the computer instead of spooning him. I better go soothe his ego.
Sweety got home today before I left for work. I'd just gotten up and Tiny was bouncing around in the bed all excited to hear his voice. I look over to see that in her joy she has pissed all over the bed. I knew she needed to go out and I was trying to get my clothes on to take her but she exploded first. I didn't tell Sweety why I was washing the sheets right before work. I asked him to wash the comforter when the sheets were done. I hope he didn't notice the pee on that.
I have a habit of eating leftovers and not knowing how old they are. As far as I'm concerned, if the food isn't fuzzy or smell funny then it's okay to eat. But I think I may have been broken from that. I ate some potato salad when I got in yesterday night and it was quite expired but I didn't notice. Sweety pointed it out after I sprinted to the bathroom and he saw the empty carton on the counter. I have truly never had such an unpleasant bathroom experience. No more potato salad for me.
Tiny dog has been hoarding my underwear. I found 4 pairs scattered around the house today. Perhaps that is the cause of my recent panty shortage.
Well, Sweety just came in here and scared the hell out of me. He thinks I don't love him since I came in from work and decided to play on the computer instead of spooning him. I better go soothe his ego.
9/22/05
What I Do For Fun
I give my dog treats in such a manner that it looks like she's smoking a cigar. I like to pretend that she's a gangster. A very small gangster. She looks cute but this bitch will cut you if you cross her.
Sweety
Sweety's noggin seems to be okay. He called the doctor's office today and was told by a nurse that the MRI was "all clear". He asked for additional clarification such as what the hell was causing his headache so the nurse put him back on hold and told him if his head was still hurting to schedule another appointment.
He told me it still hurts but less than it has been for the last week. I really think he has a rotten sinus infection going on. The whole time I've know him (4 years or so) every night he wakes me up by coughing and clearing his throat in his sleep. Surely his sinuses are to blame. Otherwise, I will smother his doctor with my elbow.
I'd like to speak about the lovely baseball game that the boys played in tonight and the aggravation that their more than lovely mother was a catalyst for, but I'm all effed out.
I may have to crank up the sex blog. Just because the stuff is too damn good to not talk about :)
Night.
He told me it still hurts but less than it has been for the last week. I really think he has a rotten sinus infection going on. The whole time I've know him (4 years or so) every night he wakes me up by coughing and clearing his throat in his sleep. Surely his sinuses are to blame. Otherwise, I will smother his doctor with my elbow.
I'd like to speak about the lovely baseball game that the boys played in tonight and the aggravation that their more than lovely mother was a catalyst for, but I'm all effed out.
I may have to crank up the sex blog. Just because the stuff is too damn good to not talk about :)
Night.
9/21/05
See Me Volunteer!
Woo hoo! What a good little soccer mom I am! Except the boys don't play soccer, but that's beside the point.
I just spent the last 2 hours at school, with BB's fifth grade class. I feel like I've been shook up in a can full of pennies. We had lunch at 11:30 in the cafeteria and it sounded like feeding time at the walrus pen of the zoo. Then after that I was in his classroom typing some reports that the kids are doing. A lot of bodies around me makes me nervous and it was especially fun trying to keep my train of thought while kids were yammering right in my ear - wow! you type fast! how fast do you type? how many keys are you hitting? how can you do that? I brought one kid's stuff home with me to do and I go back next Wednesday. Surely, I'll finish them up then.
Sweety said his head was feeling not so hurty for the first time in about a week. Hopefully, it's just a nice rancid sinus infection in there and it's just taken a week for the antibiotic to start working. I'd heard that some dogs can sniff out cancer or tumors but when Tiny dog is by his head she doesn't signal that anything is wrong. That must be a good sign.
Tonight is the boys' first baseball game. I'm trying to strike a deal with the rain gods to keep from getting soaked.
I just spent the last 2 hours at school, with BB's fifth grade class. I feel like I've been shook up in a can full of pennies. We had lunch at 11:30 in the cafeteria and it sounded like feeding time at the walrus pen of the zoo. Then after that I was in his classroom typing some reports that the kids are doing. A lot of bodies around me makes me nervous and it was especially fun trying to keep my train of thought while kids were yammering right in my ear - wow! you type fast! how fast do you type? how many keys are you hitting? how can you do that? I brought one kid's stuff home with me to do and I go back next Wednesday. Surely, I'll finish them up then.
Sweety said his head was feeling not so hurty for the first time in about a week. Hopefully, it's just a nice rancid sinus infection in there and it's just taken a week for the antibiotic to start working. I'd heard that some dogs can sniff out cancer or tumors but when Tiny dog is by his head she doesn't signal that anything is wrong. That must be a good sign.
Tonight is the boys' first baseball game. I'm trying to strike a deal with the rain gods to keep from getting soaked.
9/20/05
Happy Tuesday!!!
Sweety got his noggin MRI-ed yesterday and we'll know something on Thursday. I am certainly enjoying the wait. Feel my sarcasm; embrace it with me!
I couldn't find any clean drawers yesterday so I resorted to wearing a thong to work. Holy crap batman. I know there are some people who wear them all the time. People who perhaps don't have any other type of underwear. How the hell do they stand it? It was like I gave myself a wedgie. I just had to keep reminding myself that the feeling at my ass was the way it was supposed to feel and just tried to ignore it. If I'd have had scissors in my car, I would have cut them off and tossed them out the window on my way home. Must go panty shopping, sooner rather than later.
Tiny dog has discovered the bookshelf in my room. Lucky for her, she gnawed on Sweety's paperback copy of "50 Types of Big Rigs" instead of any of my books. I don't have a lot of books but the ones that I do have, I like very much. Even more than I like Tiny dog.
For something rather disturbing, go see what Betty Butterfield has to say about various things. Thanks to Apostle John for bringing this little gem of the internet to my attention. After watching some of these things, I had a dream that Betty was my landlord and kicked me out of my house because my dog peed on the rug.
Considering that Sweety mopped all the floors, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned the kitchen, and did 2 loads of laundry after he got home yesterday - I should probably go be productive too. But wait, I think he did it all...
I need a nap then.
I couldn't find any clean drawers yesterday so I resorted to wearing a thong to work. Holy crap batman. I know there are some people who wear them all the time. People who perhaps don't have any other type of underwear. How the hell do they stand it? It was like I gave myself a wedgie. I just had to keep reminding myself that the feeling at my ass was the way it was supposed to feel and just tried to ignore it. If I'd have had scissors in my car, I would have cut them off and tossed them out the window on my way home. Must go panty shopping, sooner rather than later.
Tiny dog has discovered the bookshelf in my room. Lucky for her, she gnawed on Sweety's paperback copy of "50 Types of Big Rigs" instead of any of my books. I don't have a lot of books but the ones that I do have, I like very much. Even more than I like Tiny dog.
For something rather disturbing, go see what Betty Butterfield has to say about various things. Thanks to Apostle John for bringing this little gem of the internet to my attention. After watching some of these things, I had a dream that Betty was my landlord and kicked me out of my house because my dog peed on the rug.
Considering that Sweety mopped all the floors, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned the kitchen, and did 2 loads of laundry after he got home yesterday - I should probably go be productive too. But wait, I think he did it all...
I need a nap then.
9/19/05
"Are you a Christian?"
Let me tell you something: when you're on the phone with some customer service person and at the end of the call, when they ask if there's anything else they can help you with - don't ask them if they're a Christian or if they know the Lord as their personal savior. Because that is not the kind of stuff that I'm available to talk about. This type of question can take a 60 second call and turn it into 5 minutes. Someday, when I get the balls (figuratively speaking of course) to do it, I'm going to tell them that I serve the other side and sacrifice small helpless creatures on a monthly basis. People can be such twits.
My sweet husband so surprised me today. When I got in the car at the end of my shift, there were some flowers and a card in the front seat. I was shocked. I thought that maybe I'd gotten into the wrong car. Then I thought that I must have a secret admirer because I couldn't believe that Sweety would waste all that gas just to leave me flowers. He is one good egg.
And in case you didn't know, today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. So sayeth The Cow. Today would be the perfect day to polish up your peg leg and make someone walk the plank. I'm going to sharpen my scabbard, right now.
Maybe I'll use the scabbard to remove what's lingering of Quasimodo.
My sweet husband so surprised me today. When I got in the car at the end of my shift, there were some flowers and a card in the front seat. I was shocked. I thought that maybe I'd gotten into the wrong car. Then I thought that I must have a secret admirer because I couldn't believe that Sweety would waste all that gas just to leave me flowers. He is one good egg.
And in case you didn't know, today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. So sayeth The Cow. Today would be the perfect day to polish up your peg leg and make someone walk the plank. I'm going to sharpen my scabbard, right now.
Maybe I'll use the scabbard to remove what's lingering of Quasimodo.
9/18/05
Yum
There's not much better than a lot of good sex.
Even if you think your significant other's head may pop when they have an orgasm.
He's snoring like a chainsaw right now. It's different if I smother him as opposed to him dying on his own. I'm gonna go dump a gallon of Hawaiian punch in his mouth now to quiet him down.
Even if you think your significant other's head may pop when they have an orgasm.
He's snoring like a chainsaw right now. It's different if I smother him as opposed to him dying on his own. I'm gonna go dump a gallon of Hawaiian punch in his mouth now to quiet him down.
9/17/05
Redneck Ramblings
You might be a redneck if you stop at the pharmacy for a 24 ounce beer and a can of mixed nuts to eat for breakfast.
I have a total freaking bar at home but I didn't want to disturb the dogs by digging around in the kitchen. So now I have the biggest beer that I've ever had sitting here, taunting me. I hope I don't wet the bed after I drink it.
I've started eating Xanax at work again. It seems to be the only thing that keeps me from freaking out on the phone with a "customer". I don't guess work cares if I'm doped to the gills while I'm there. Just as long as they have a hot body to answer the phone, it's all good.
On my way home tonight I picked up the dvd The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I love the book and was so pleased when a movie came out. The boys really liked it too so it'll be fun to watch it with them again.
The first thing I did when I got in was to make sure Sweety's still alive. He's been having headache's off and on for about a month. Something happened Wednesday and when the head pain hit, the right side of his face went numb too. There was an xray done but they didn't see anything so he's getting an MRI on Monday. The doctor said it's either a sinus infection that the xray missed (though he's never had that happen before) an aneurysm, or a tumor. I'm sure it's just his sinuses. But his heads been killing him since Wednesday. I feel sorry for him. He looks like crap. I can tell that he's not sleeping.
I know I said I wasn't going to post about Sweety's health issues but I can't stand it. It's making me crazy. It doesn't help that he's really scared about it too.
I'm afraid that all the bad thoughts that I've thrown out to various people are coming back to land on him. The three worst ones that I could think of were the EW's husband getting a brain tumor after I'd been wishing one on her, our neighbor having a ministroke after I glared at him and tried to give him a tiny aneurysm and some kid on BB's basketball team who was a total turd and I said to Sweety, "i hope he blows his knee out" and then a few games later in the finals, he did. Maybe these were all coincidences. For these three things that happened, I've probably had a million bad thoughts that didn't come to fruition.
I have a total freaking bar at home but I didn't want to disturb the dogs by digging around in the kitchen. So now I have the biggest beer that I've ever had sitting here, taunting me. I hope I don't wet the bed after I drink it.
I've started eating Xanax at work again. It seems to be the only thing that keeps me from freaking out on the phone with a "customer". I don't guess work cares if I'm doped to the gills while I'm there. Just as long as they have a hot body to answer the phone, it's all good.
On my way home tonight I picked up the dvd The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I love the book and was so pleased when a movie came out. The boys really liked it too so it'll be fun to watch it with them again.
The first thing I did when I got in was to make sure Sweety's still alive. He's been having headache's off and on for about a month. Something happened Wednesday and when the head pain hit, the right side of his face went numb too. There was an xray done but they didn't see anything so he's getting an MRI on Monday. The doctor said it's either a sinus infection that the xray missed (though he's never had that happen before) an aneurysm, or a tumor. I'm sure it's just his sinuses. But his heads been killing him since Wednesday. I feel sorry for him. He looks like crap. I can tell that he's not sleeping.
I know I said I wasn't going to post about Sweety's health issues but I can't stand it. It's making me crazy. It doesn't help that he's really scared about it too.
I'm afraid that all the bad thoughts that I've thrown out to various people are coming back to land on him. The three worst ones that I could think of were the EW's husband getting a brain tumor after I'd been wishing one on her, our neighbor having a ministroke after I glared at him and tried to give him a tiny aneurysm and some kid on BB's basketball team who was a total turd and I said to Sweety, "i hope he blows his knee out" and then a few games later in the finals, he did. Maybe these were all coincidences. For these three things that happened, I've probably had a million bad thoughts that didn't come to fruition.
9/16/05
Stuff Portrait Friday
My handwriting
The first line from one of my favorite books.
The kitchen
This is it now, with the new stove and wood floor.
Sweety installed the floor and took out the tile. He's pretty handy!
This is before. I'm glad the tile is gone. It was hard to keep clean.
Something random
My wonderful Mom, whom I will get to see in 11 days!
The first line from one of my favorite books.
The kitchen
This is it now, with the new stove and wood floor.
Sweety installed the floor and took out the tile. He's pretty handy!
This is before. I'm glad the tile is gone. It was hard to keep clean.
Something random
My wonderful Mom, whom I will get to see in 11 days!
9/15/05
Worrywort
Sometimes I make mountains out of molehills. So I'm not going to write about my molehill just yet. But if anyone could spare a positive thoughtbeam, please direct it to Sweety. I'll write about this more on Tuesday after we find out what's up. Til then, I'm going to ignore the problem so I don't freak out.
Back to our regularly scheduled program...
Tiny dog has developed the most disgusting habit of humping Stinky dog's head. I know she's doing it to try and establish dominance, but come on Tiny. Have you got to stick your coochie right in her face? I may go get her some type of toy to ride.
I was in the kitchen earlier and heard this sighing/hissing noise behind me and I froze because it sounded a lot like the creepy noise in The Grudge. I turned around, fully expecting to see a drowned Japanese boy behind me, but it was just the pantry door sliding open by itself. Whew. Now I don't know if I should be concerned that the pantry door swung open by itself or just happy there was no visible poltergeist behind me.
The boys had baseball practice last night and I was really surprised with how well the team is playing. It's nice that they know what they're doing now but I really miss the days of t-ball. There's nothing more entertaining than some kid whacking a ball off a tee and then sprinting to third base instead of first. Some of their games this season are at 1 and 4 in the afternoon. Can't wait to sit and swelter in the sun while they run lethargically around on the field.
It tickles me how the boys make conversation with me now. The first thing they ask when I pick them up from school on Tuesday is how my night at work went and my day. Then I ask about theirs and they tell me all about it. I just think it's neat to talk to them. Yesterday, I picked them up from their mom's and when I asked BB about his day he said it was less than perfect because his mom and grandma have been fighting. I replied with something like 'oh, moms and daughters fuss sometimes' and veered away from that topic. I don't know if I should have changed the subject or asked about why they were fighting. I kinda felt like if I asked about it would have been like I was pumping him for information. But then part of me thought since he mentioned it maybe he wanted to talk about it. He didn't bring it back up though. It is confusing dealing with someone else's children sometimes.
Back to our regularly scheduled program...
Tiny dog has developed the most disgusting habit of humping Stinky dog's head. I know she's doing it to try and establish dominance, but come on Tiny. Have you got to stick your coochie right in her face? I may go get her some type of toy to ride.
I was in the kitchen earlier and heard this sighing/hissing noise behind me and I froze because it sounded a lot like the creepy noise in The Grudge. I turned around, fully expecting to see a drowned Japanese boy behind me, but it was just the pantry door sliding open by itself. Whew. Now I don't know if I should be concerned that the pantry door swung open by itself or just happy there was no visible poltergeist behind me.
The boys had baseball practice last night and I was really surprised with how well the team is playing. It's nice that they know what they're doing now but I really miss the days of t-ball. There's nothing more entertaining than some kid whacking a ball off a tee and then sprinting to third base instead of first. Some of their games this season are at 1 and 4 in the afternoon. Can't wait to sit and swelter in the sun while they run lethargically around on the field.
It tickles me how the boys make conversation with me now. The first thing they ask when I pick them up from school on Tuesday is how my night at work went and my day. Then I ask about theirs and they tell me all about it. I just think it's neat to talk to them. Yesterday, I picked them up from their mom's and when I asked BB about his day he said it was less than perfect because his mom and grandma have been fighting. I replied with something like 'oh, moms and daughters fuss sometimes' and veered away from that topic. I don't know if I should have changed the subject or asked about why they were fighting. I kinda felt like if I asked about it would have been like I was pumping him for information. But then part of me thought since he mentioned it maybe he wanted to talk about it. He didn't bring it back up though. It is confusing dealing with someone else's children sometimes.
9/13/05
No Worries
Well I suck big, sweaty, hairy, donkey balls at Fantasy Football. My team would be the Killer Wombats. That's the one that came in last. And not last by just a little - last by a lot. The final score was 69. That must be good luck or something, right?
Sweety wouldn't help me with it at first when he found out I was playing (he just laughed til he cried when i told him i had a football team). But once he saw how awful it went he did agree to take a peek at my roster and move some people around. BB got to help too. We'll turn it into our Tuesday night bonding ritual. Maybe I'll learn something about football through osmosis.
And in response to MCB's comment: What did tiny dog do? And how long does it take to deliver an oven? Does she know she got on your bad side? Tiny dog just embarrassed the hell out of me when the oven was being delivered. I was asleep in my room with a baby gate up in the doorway. As soon as she heard the knock on the door she started flipping out. When the delivery guys walked by she was trying to be all vicious and attempting to climb over the gate. After I stuck her in her cage she really turned her screams up. They were probably in the house for less than 10 minutes and the whole time we had to talk over the sounds of the dog who sounded like she was being boiled. I think I was embarrassed because I was standing there in my robe, with my hair in a broke ponytail while my little toy dog was screaming and I was afraid they thought I was just a spoiled lazy ass who didn't work and slept all the time (it was about noon when they got here). So I apologized for my appearance and told them I worked nights and had been asleep. As they were walking out, Tiny dog took a breath and started screeching away and I told them the first thing I was going to cook in the new oven was going to be that little dog. I don't know if they believed me or not. Tiny has no idea how peeved I was. When she was let out of her cage, she carried on as normal. Now that I think about it, she probably was trying to "protect" me from the strangers who were taking our things away.
I think the dogcatcher is trying to catch Stinky dog outside unleashed. He stopped by here a couple of weeks ago when I was standing outside with her and told me she needed to be leashed. I saw him coming up the street yesterday and quickly shooed her inside while blocking the view he'd have of her unleashed body. I know that dogs need to be leashed. But please, give me a fucking break. She's not unsupervised out there. I'm walking her; she's 4 feet away from me taking a poop. I think he needs to concentrate on some of the dogs that do run around here eating cats. Dork.
The house is basically tidy and I have nothing that must be done today. Life is good.
Sweety wouldn't help me with it at first when he found out I was playing (he just laughed til he cried when i told him i had a football team). But once he saw how awful it went he did agree to take a peek at my roster and move some people around. BB got to help too. We'll turn it into our Tuesday night bonding ritual. Maybe I'll learn something about football through osmosis.
And in response to MCB's comment: What did tiny dog do? And how long does it take to deliver an oven? Does she know she got on your bad side? Tiny dog just embarrassed the hell out of me when the oven was being delivered. I was asleep in my room with a baby gate up in the doorway. As soon as she heard the knock on the door she started flipping out. When the delivery guys walked by she was trying to be all vicious and attempting to climb over the gate. After I stuck her in her cage she really turned her screams up. They were probably in the house for less than 10 minutes and the whole time we had to talk over the sounds of the dog who sounded like she was being boiled. I think I was embarrassed because I was standing there in my robe, with my hair in a broke ponytail while my little toy dog was screaming and I was afraid they thought I was just a spoiled lazy ass who didn't work and slept all the time (it was about noon when they got here). So I apologized for my appearance and told them I worked nights and had been asleep. As they were walking out, Tiny dog took a breath and started screeching away and I told them the first thing I was going to cook in the new oven was going to be that little dog. I don't know if they believed me or not. Tiny has no idea how peeved I was. When she was let out of her cage, she carried on as normal. Now that I think about it, she probably was trying to "protect" me from the strangers who were taking our things away.
I think the dogcatcher is trying to catch Stinky dog outside unleashed. He stopped by here a couple of weeks ago when I was standing outside with her and told me she needed to be leashed. I saw him coming up the street yesterday and quickly shooed her inside while blocking the view he'd have of her unleashed body. I know that dogs need to be leashed. But please, give me a fucking break. She's not unsupervised out there. I'm walking her; she's 4 feet away from me taking a poop. I think he needs to concentrate on some of the dogs that do run around here eating cats. Dork.
The house is basically tidy and I have nothing that must be done today. Life is good.
Nice Recipe For One
1 - Tiny dog
1 - Wooden stake (preferably hickory)
18 - Garlic cloves
1 - Small potato
Salt and pepper to taste
Let Tiny dog tenderize herself from the inside out by barking like a rabid loon at the furniture people who are bringing in a new oven. She will bark even harder if you lock her inside her cage thus hastening the tenderizing process. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Once dog is limp from exertion: remove pink sweater; pound wooden stake through the heart; stuff garlic cloves in gullet; seal with the potato in the mouth.
Bake til you haven't heard her squeal for at least 30 minutes.
When eating - do not remove the wooden stake because she could come back to life.
1 - Wooden stake (preferably hickory)
18 - Garlic cloves
1 - Small potato
Salt and pepper to taste
Let Tiny dog tenderize herself from the inside out by barking like a rabid loon at the furniture people who are bringing in a new oven. She will bark even harder if you lock her inside her cage thus hastening the tenderizing process. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Once dog is limp from exertion: remove pink sweater; pound wooden stake through the heart; stuff garlic cloves in gullet; seal with the potato in the mouth.
Bake til you haven't heard her squeal for at least 30 minutes.
When eating - do not remove the wooden stake because she could come back to life.
Tired Rambling
The old oven is hitting the road today and the new one will be delivered. Yay! When we moved the old one out we found a decades worth of stray food bits. There was enough pasta on the floor to feed a family of 4 for at least 2 meals. Tiny dog was thrilled to see all the goodies and I contemplated boiling it all up for her in some type of soup but then realized that I couldn't because the stove wasn't hooked up any more.
I drive a Honda Pilot and while I totally loathe it, I have to give it some credit for having some "get up and go". I was trying to merge onto the road this morning and some dorkwad in a little sports car (and I know that means he must be suffering from micropenis) didn't want to let me over. Geez, excuse me, we're the only 2 cars on the road but god forbid I get in front of him. So he gassed it and I just followed him at warp speed til I got to my exit. I love being at a stop light with someone beside me who's just itching to go so they keep creeping forward and then when the light turns green I zoom away and make it through the next yellow light and they get caught on red. It doesn't take much to amuse me.
Instead of getting my boobage lifted/reduced in October, I'm waiting til March. My Mom will be here for a week so I can get it done and then take some days off and visit with her. If I still get it done. I'm very nervous about the whole general anesthesia thing. I like to sleep but I prefer it when I induce it. Maybe I really don't need perky little C cups that I can put in cute, tiny tops. I'm glad I've given myself some more time to kick the idea around.
Yee-ouch. Speaking of boobs, Tiny dog just jumped in my lap and poked me in the boob with her spiked collar. I didn't realize it could be so lethal.
I'm pooped. It will be nice to live on a regular daytime schedule, someday. Goodnight to me.
I drive a Honda Pilot and while I totally loathe it, I have to give it some credit for having some "get up and go". I was trying to merge onto the road this morning and some dorkwad in a little sports car (and I know that means he must be suffering from micropenis) didn't want to let me over. Geez, excuse me, we're the only 2 cars on the road but god forbid I get in front of him. So he gassed it and I just followed him at warp speed til I got to my exit. I love being at a stop light with someone beside me who's just itching to go so they keep creeping forward and then when the light turns green I zoom away and make it through the next yellow light and they get caught on red. It doesn't take much to amuse me.
Instead of getting my boobage lifted/reduced in October, I'm waiting til March. My Mom will be here for a week so I can get it done and then take some days off and visit with her. If I still get it done. I'm very nervous about the whole general anesthesia thing. I like to sleep but I prefer it when I induce it. Maybe I really don't need perky little C cups that I can put in cute, tiny tops. I'm glad I've given myself some more time to kick the idea around.
Yee-ouch. Speaking of boobs, Tiny dog just jumped in my lap and poked me in the boob with her spiked collar. I didn't realize it could be so lethal.
I'm pooped. It will be nice to live on a regular daytime schedule, someday. Goodnight to me.
The Penguin
A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot.
He gets a big dish of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat it. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.
After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just vanilla ice cream."
Well, I thought it was funny.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot.
He gets a big dish of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat it. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.
After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just vanilla ice cream."
Well, I thought it was funny.
9/12/05
Weekend Recap
We are going to Oklahoma the 27th to the 29th this month. I can't wait! It will be so great to sit in my Mom's living room. We'll get there really late on the 27th and spend the 28th looking at land to buy and have to leave super early on the 29th. Even though we won't be there long, it'll still be good to hug her neck.
I was telling the boys about Tiny dog eating puke and we decided that she probably gags Stinky dog for those goodies. I wouldn't put it past her.
This weekend we did a bit of decorating. Our entryway was bare but one basketful of stuff from Target later - voila! A nifty looking little entrance now. I was kinda surprised how put together it turned out to be because I'm not very good at matching stuff. Here is a photo Sweety took of me admiring our stuff. I was making sure that everything was centered just right. I didn't realize that he was stalking me with the camera. One of the reasons it excites me to get new things is because when I was growing up we didn't get to buy much. My Mom kept us fed but I was still the kid wearing the funny clothes that got picked on. I don't think I've told anyone this, but my secret thing that I'd really like to do is buy my Mom a car. I'm really thinking about working an extra year so I can do that for her. She's always been in debt with her cars and with her job plus living in the country they get used up rather quickly.
The previous bitch that lived here was really into the cutesy country stuff. I think that kind of stuff is cute but I prefer it in other people's homes. I like just a few things that I really like to decorate with. I think maybe the neighbor or the EW used to sell home interior stuff because when I was at the neighbor's house I noticed some of the same stuff hanging over there that used to be here.
We also got a new oven. The current one was 16 years old and it finally bit the dust. The new one is one of those with the flat range on top. It's cool to be accumulating some things of our own together. Next on the list is a washer and dryer when the current ones die. I am very tempted to go sabotage the old ones to hurry that process but that does seem wrong.
And last but not least, we're getting new carpet for the boys' rooms. The stuff in there is what was installed 16 years ago when the house was built and it is way past it's prime. They boys got to pick out their own carpet. LB wanted freaking RED carpet but we managed to steer him away from that to something a bit more subdued.
I'm starting to like the house a little more since when I look around now I see things that I helped choose.
Time for a nap with the canines.
I was telling the boys about Tiny dog eating puke and we decided that she probably gags Stinky dog for those goodies. I wouldn't put it past her.
This weekend we did a bit of decorating. Our entryway was bare but one basketful of stuff from Target later - voila! A nifty looking little entrance now. I was kinda surprised how put together it turned out to be because I'm not very good at matching stuff. Here is a photo Sweety took of me admiring our stuff. I was making sure that everything was centered just right. I didn't realize that he was stalking me with the camera. One of the reasons it excites me to get new things is because when I was growing up we didn't get to buy much. My Mom kept us fed but I was still the kid wearing the funny clothes that got picked on. I don't think I've told anyone this, but my secret thing that I'd really like to do is buy my Mom a car. I'm really thinking about working an extra year so I can do that for her. She's always been in debt with her cars and with her job plus living in the country they get used up rather quickly.
The previous bitch that lived here was really into the cutesy country stuff. I think that kind of stuff is cute but I prefer it in other people's homes. I like just a few things that I really like to decorate with. I think maybe the neighbor or the EW used to sell home interior stuff because when I was at the neighbor's house I noticed some of the same stuff hanging over there that used to be here.
We also got a new oven. The current one was 16 years old and it finally bit the dust. The new one is one of those with the flat range on top. It's cool to be accumulating some things of our own together. Next on the list is a washer and dryer when the current ones die. I am very tempted to go sabotage the old ones to hurry that process but that does seem wrong.
And last but not least, we're getting new carpet for the boys' rooms. The stuff in there is what was installed 16 years ago when the house was built and it is way past it's prime. They boys got to pick out their own carpet. LB wanted freaking RED carpet but we managed to steer him away from that to something a bit more subdued.
I'm starting to like the house a little more since when I look around now I see things that I helped choose.
Time for a nap with the canines.
9/11/05
Effing OW
Sweety poked Quasimodo last night. It was not a pretty sight. I think he just pissed it off. At the bowling alley tonight he got some ideas on how to deal with it. I see an archaic do-it-yourself surgery on my horizon.
I was tempted to post a picture of it in all it's angry glory today, but I didn't want to make anyone puke.
Surely I live to see the doctor on Tuesday to get this thing removed or lanced or whatever needs to be done. Maybe it will just go away.
I was tempted to post a picture of it in all it's angry glory today, but I didn't want to make anyone puke.
Surely I live to see the doctor on Tuesday to get this thing removed or lanced or whatever needs to be done. Maybe it will just go away.
9/10/05
Lazy
There's a lot of shit I should be doing right now (washing the dogs, washing myself, brushing my teeth, cleaning the house, cleaning the porch, grocery shopping) but I'm just going to take yet another moment and just say "fuck it".
I just woke up and I'm feeling like one lazy chick today. Not unlike any other day.
I did get one thing accomplished; I called the bank in the TX town I used to live in and got the payoff on a loan I have there. 380.00. That is all that's left of a 15 grand unsecured note. It will be so nice to have that thing paid off. Lots of memories in that loan...Bailing my first husband out of jail. Bailing myself out of debt. Lots of little miscellaneous stuff in that loan.
The effing dogs are wound up like eight day clocks. I guess since they've spent the last 2 days sleeping in my room that they have some energy to burn. They're playing tag and the sound of their toes clicking on the wood floor is making me crazy. I will have to buy them some boots. I got Tiny dog some boots and a raincoat the other day but they're too big. Maybe when I take them back I'll get Stinky some boots to muffle the sound when she walks. Otherwise, the noise is going to make me crazy and I'll end up chopping their feet off.
Today was the first baseball practice for the sprogs. I opted out of going. Usually I'm at every one of them but I woke up late today. Out of guilt, I'll make it a point to go to the rest of them. I just love roasting in the sun while they practice. And it makes it even more fun when the EW graces us with her occasional presence - gives me someone to talk to. I know you felt my sarcasm, right?
I had someone call me a fucking asshole and a fat lazy ass last night! It warms my heart to be able to elicit such emotion from someone that I don't even know.
I do enjoy my job.
Hmmm. I think I'm gonna go dink with my template some more. First I'll go see what Tiny dog is doing. I hear shit crashing in another part of the house.
I just woke up and I'm feeling like one lazy chick today. Not unlike any other day.
I did get one thing accomplished; I called the bank in the TX town I used to live in and got the payoff on a loan I have there. 380.00. That is all that's left of a 15 grand unsecured note. It will be so nice to have that thing paid off. Lots of memories in that loan...Bailing my first husband out of jail. Bailing myself out of debt. Lots of little miscellaneous stuff in that loan.
The effing dogs are wound up like eight day clocks. I guess since they've spent the last 2 days sleeping in my room that they have some energy to burn. They're playing tag and the sound of their toes clicking on the wood floor is making me crazy. I will have to buy them some boots. I got Tiny dog some boots and a raincoat the other day but they're too big. Maybe when I take them back I'll get Stinky some boots to muffle the sound when she walks. Otherwise, the noise is going to make me crazy and I'll end up chopping their feet off.
Today was the first baseball practice for the sprogs. I opted out of going. Usually I'm at every one of them but I woke up late today. Out of guilt, I'll make it a point to go to the rest of them. I just love roasting in the sun while they practice. And it makes it even more fun when the EW graces us with her occasional presence - gives me someone to talk to. I know you felt my sarcasm, right?
I had someone call me a fucking asshole and a fat lazy ass last night! It warms my heart to be able to elicit such emotion from someone that I don't even know.
I do enjoy my job.
Hmmm. I think I'm gonna go dink with my template some more. First I'll go see what Tiny dog is doing. I hear shit crashing in another part of the house.
9/9/05
Ew.
I had to open the shower curtain this morning and get something that I'd left on the bathroom counter. I took a peek at the canines in the corner and saw that Stinky dog had just puked up all of her breakfast. But by the time I got out of the shower, it was all gone and Tiny dog was using her 7 inch tongue to clean her own ears. I wonder how many times this has happened and I didn't even know it? No surprise that Tiny dog is getting chunky.
There's a stool that I put by my bed so Tiny can hop up on it. She was crying earlier and she'd gotten up there but she hasn't figured out how to get down yet. I took her off the bed and moved the stool away. While making my bed I found a dog treat buried in my sheets. I am so glad that I made the bed. Sweety would freak out if he found a dog treat in his bed. Sweety, if you're reading this: ha ha. i'm just kidding.
It has been raining all stinking morning long. I've managed to get plenty of sleep today and I am so not looking forward to going to work tonight. But I guess I never look forward to that. At least it is Friday.
There are some people that I'm around that make me want to poke their eyes out with hot forks. Or at least rub their smug little smiles off. I wish I still had my Photon Deathray Gun.
There's a stool that I put by my bed so Tiny can hop up on it. She was crying earlier and she'd gotten up there but she hasn't figured out how to get down yet. I took her off the bed and moved the stool away. While making my bed I found a dog treat buried in my sheets. I am so glad that I made the bed. Sweety would freak out if he found a dog treat in his bed. Sweety, if you're reading this: ha ha. i'm just kidding.
It has been raining all stinking morning long. I've managed to get plenty of sleep today and I am so not looking forward to going to work tonight. But I guess I never look forward to that. At least it is Friday.
There are some people that I'm around that make me want to poke their eyes out with hot forks. Or at least rub their smug little smiles off. I wish I still had my Photon Deathray Gun.
Quasimodo
There is something that has sprung up on my back within the last 36 hours. Some kind of big ass knot that's a tad bigger than a shooter marble. I don't know if it's a spider bite or a pimple or a boil or a pocket of spinal fluid. It hurts like hell when any pressure is put on it though. I'm hoping it goes away soon. My biggest worry is that it's full of some kind of strange little eggs that are waiting to hatch. I think I read too many weird books. Maybe I should sterilize the ice cream scoop and ask Sweety to operate when he gets up.
9/8/05
Look At Meeeeee!
See the new header? See it? See it?
I love it.
The fantabulous Bekah of Eureka Blyth fame has hooked me up! I am so stinking pleased.
I've been wanting to change that thing and have probably spent 20 hours checking out different places to have it done but I only wanted a new banner and I wasn't sure if somewhere would go into my blog and do just that or if I'd have to install it. I had an idea for something much like this in my head.
One of the reasons I was thinking of moving away from Blogger, to get a new page design during my move. But now, I have decided to keep my little dysfunctional home here at Blogger. Sure, Blogger's a bitch sometimes, but she is free. And now I'm all snazzy looking.
I must go admire my page some more.
I love it.
The fantabulous Bekah of Eureka Blyth fame has hooked me up! I am so stinking pleased.
I've been wanting to change that thing and have probably spent 20 hours checking out different places to have it done but I only wanted a new banner and I wasn't sure if somewhere would go into my blog and do just that or if I'd have to install it. I had an idea for something much like this in my head.
One of the reasons I was thinking of moving away from Blogger, to get a new page design during my move. But now, I have decided to keep my little dysfunctional home here at Blogger. Sure, Blogger's a bitch sometimes, but she is free. And now I'm all snazzy looking.
I must go admire my page some more.
Blah blah blah
Due to the high winds expected with the latest hurricane in training, Ophelia, school was cancelled today. I'm just glad that today is Thursday and the boys will be at their mom's.
Stinky dog is parked on the couch suffering from withdrawals. Last night I let her lay on the couch with me and we napped for a couple of hours. This type of thing happens sporadically because it is not often that I'm laying around in clothes that I don't mind getting Stinky-dogged up. Since she received so much love last night she's been all under my feet this morning looking for more of the same. I feel a little guilty so I may fix the bed so she can nap there with me later.
I don't know where the hell Tiny dog is. Probably off eating the wall somewhere.
I've heard that dogs and their owners sometimes share traits and after observing Tiny dog, I think that is true. Cases in point: When I'm digging in the pantry, trying to find a snack, I have my right hand up by my chest (kind of like one of those dinosaurs with small front feet), ready to dart out and snatch the snack when I find it; Tiny uses the same pose when she begging for food or listening for something. I like stuff to be smooth and even and I've decided that's why Tiny likes to nibble on stuff. Last night I was letting her lick out a pudding cup and she became distracted by a tiny tag of plastic on the side. She abandoned eating the pudding remnants to try and nibble off (make smooth!) the plastic bit. I think she has doggie OCD. Now that I'm on my way to understanding my pet, maybe we'll be able to get this housebreaking thing done.
With the front part of the house now having wood flooring, it kind of looks like a basketball court up there. We have raised ceilings so I suggested installing a basketball hoop on the wall. Sweety wasn't too keen with that idea. I guess I'll have to really decorate now.
Speaking of decorate...We finally ordered a picture for the living room. It's a big painting of Starry Night that will go above the couch (probably). I've been wanting to get it forever. It should arrive the beginning of October. I can't wait! I'm going to do some major moving of the stuff that's already on the walls.
We're thinking of buying some land in Oklahoma and will need to make a quick trip up there to check it out if we do. I'm kind of excited about it. It will be nice to see my Mom, even if it is just for one day.
Stinky dog is parked on the couch suffering from withdrawals. Last night I let her lay on the couch with me and we napped for a couple of hours. This type of thing happens sporadically because it is not often that I'm laying around in clothes that I don't mind getting Stinky-dogged up. Since she received so much love last night she's been all under my feet this morning looking for more of the same. I feel a little guilty so I may fix the bed so she can nap there with me later.
I don't know where the hell Tiny dog is. Probably off eating the wall somewhere.
I've heard that dogs and their owners sometimes share traits and after observing Tiny dog, I think that is true. Cases in point: When I'm digging in the pantry, trying to find a snack, I have my right hand up by my chest (kind of like one of those dinosaurs with small front feet), ready to dart out and snatch the snack when I find it; Tiny uses the same pose when she begging for food or listening for something. I like stuff to be smooth and even and I've decided that's why Tiny likes to nibble on stuff. Last night I was letting her lick out a pudding cup and she became distracted by a tiny tag of plastic on the side. She abandoned eating the pudding remnants to try and nibble off (make smooth!) the plastic bit. I think she has doggie OCD. Now that I'm on my way to understanding my pet, maybe we'll be able to get this housebreaking thing done.
With the front part of the house now having wood flooring, it kind of looks like a basketball court up there. We have raised ceilings so I suggested installing a basketball hoop on the wall. Sweety wasn't too keen with that idea. I guess I'll have to really decorate now.
Speaking of decorate...We finally ordered a picture for the living room. It's a big painting of Starry Night that will go above the couch (probably). I've been wanting to get it forever. It should arrive the beginning of October. I can't wait! I'm going to do some major moving of the stuff that's already on the walls.
We're thinking of buying some land in Oklahoma and will need to make a quick trip up there to check it out if we do. I'm kind of excited about it. It will be nice to see my Mom, even if it is just for one day.
Half Nekkid Thursday
This is my calendar of fairies. September's centerfold showed some nippleage, so I took it upon myself to censor it. I saw NeighborGirl looking at some of the previous months and I didn't want her to tell her parents that I had pictures of naked women on the walls. They might not let her come over; I do like it when she's here because she entertains the boys and I can read a book.
9/7/05
Belated National Read A Book Day
Per L, yesterday was National Read A Book Day. I decided to share my favorite excerpt out of the book I'm rereading now:
Magical Thinking.
This is after he finds a rat in his tub and has doused it in Raid to try and kill it...
The rat/thing was still alive. I had to close my eyes and then reopen them again to make sure what I was seeing was fact. The rat/thing was not dead, not injured or impaired. I'd felt certain that once the Raid soaked through its coat and into its skin, the creature would be dead. But no. It was charging from the front of the tub to the back, furious and crazed.
The little fucker.
Then with hideous, calm precision, I locked the drain and turned the water on full blast and scalding hot. I did this automatically, dutifully, without a trace of emotion. I was simply a nurse administering pain medication to my comatose patient, an electrician changing a fuse. I was somebody from PETA handing out a brochure on the street.
I was going to drown the rat/thing. And while I was at, I would boil it, too.
He ends up using a flashlight beam to give the rat a seizure. For some reason, this whole sequence tickles the hell out of me. Maybe because I could picture myself doing this.
Magical Thinking.
This is after he finds a rat in his tub and has doused it in Raid to try and kill it...
The rat/thing was still alive. I had to close my eyes and then reopen them again to make sure what I was seeing was fact. The rat/thing was not dead, not injured or impaired. I'd felt certain that once the Raid soaked through its coat and into its skin, the creature would be dead. But no. It was charging from the front of the tub to the back, furious and crazed.
The little fucker.
Then with hideous, calm precision, I locked the drain and turned the water on full blast and scalding hot. I did this automatically, dutifully, without a trace of emotion. I was simply a nurse administering pain medication to my comatose patient, an electrician changing a fuse. I was somebody from PETA handing out a brochure on the street.
I was going to drown the rat/thing. And while I was at, I would boil it, too.
He ends up using a flashlight beam to give the rat a seizure. For some reason, this whole sequence tickles the hell out of me. Maybe because I could picture myself doing this.
My Tangled Web
I don't tell Sweety lies and usually don't keep secrets. I've had a little secret that I was keeping and it was starting to give me bad dreams so I finally came clean yesterday. For my friend N's birthday I bought her a computer.
I was planning on telling him at some point in the future for but my other friend, E, told me that withholding information was the same thing as lying. And when I woke up from a bad dream about it yesterday I figured it was time to tell him before the guilt consumed me.
He took it rather well. I informed him while we were at the dentist's office. That way if he was annoyed he'd have to tamp it down til we got home. The first thing he asked was "What did you get me for my birthday?" And I told him not a computer because he didn't need one. Then he wanted to know why we buy such extravagant gifts for each other (last year for my birthday she gave me a pretty birthstone ring) and I said we don't always do that. I'm a rather sporadic gift giver. One year you might just get a card or phone call but occasionally I'll deliver a kick ass present. With this gift, N and I agreed that from now on we will just exchange cards for holidays.
I'm just glad he didn't make a big deal out of it and now I can sleep better.
I was planning on telling him at some point in the future for but my other friend, E, told me that withholding information was the same thing as lying. And when I woke up from a bad dream about it yesterday I figured it was time to tell him before the guilt consumed me.
He took it rather well. I informed him while we were at the dentist's office. That way if he was annoyed he'd have to tamp it down til we got home. The first thing he asked was "What did you get me for my birthday?" And I told him not a computer because he didn't need one. Then he wanted to know why we buy such extravagant gifts for each other (last year for my birthday she gave me a pretty birthstone ring) and I said we don't always do that. I'm a rather sporadic gift giver. One year you might just get a card or phone call but occasionally I'll deliver a kick ass present. With this gift, N and I agreed that from now on we will just exchange cards for holidays.
I'm just glad he didn't make a big deal out of it and now I can sleep better.
9/6/05
Morning Chaos
This morning before school I was digging through BB's backpack and saw that he had been given homework on Friday and it wasn't done. The boys were at EW's for the weekend and we picked them up yesterday afternoon. I asked them yesterday if there was anything in their bags that needed to come out or be signed and they both said no. Sweety wants to say something to EW about him being over there all weekend long and the work not being noticed. I say, why bother? She's just going to get defensive and he'll end up fussing with her. I told him that he knows she's not checking their bags so anytime he picks them up from over there the first thing he should do is go through their backpacks. Preferably while they are still parked in her yard so if they left something behind in her house they can go back in and get it.
Tonight is open house. I will get to make small talk with the beast. I'm trying to think of something quietly snarky to say.
The wood floor is almost all done. There's only a couple more boards to be put down and then the trim along the bottom of the wall. We moved the furniture that was in the first living room into the toyroom and Stinky dog is totally confused now. She used to lay on the couch when it was in the front part of the house. I've taken her to the couches new spot but she doesn't like it. She keeps walking over to where it used to be and then looking at me like "where the hell is my stuff, mom?". The one bad thing about wood floor is there's all this wood for 40 little doggy toenails to clack around on. It is funny to see them try and run on the wood; one of them usually blows a wheel and ends up skittering across the floor on her side.
Some of the construction dust has gotten into the door on the dishwasher; now it squeaks horribly when you open it. Sweety was trying to get to the source of the squeak last night and Tiny dog kept stealing his napkins that were soaked in oil. She grabs one and goes under the couch with it and when Sweety flips the couch on it's side to confront her he smashes his toe. Blood everywhere. Tiny dog had the sense to disappear for awhile. And I managed to choke back any inappropriate laughter til I was out of Sweety's sight.
Later he played with her so I guess he had no hard feelings.
How could you stay mad to such an innocent little animal? She doesn't look like an eater of walls, does she? She found another spot on the wall to munch on so I maced her with some of the bitter stuff to keep her away from it and then put some on the wall. I guess I really am going to have to go around and put the stuff everywhere and let her see me doing it.
Agh. I've put it off long enough. I must go fold the laundry.
Tonight is open house. I will get to make small talk with the beast. I'm trying to think of something quietly snarky to say.
The wood floor is almost all done. There's only a couple more boards to be put down and then the trim along the bottom of the wall. We moved the furniture that was in the first living room into the toyroom and Stinky dog is totally confused now. She used to lay on the couch when it was in the front part of the house. I've taken her to the couches new spot but she doesn't like it. She keeps walking over to where it used to be and then looking at me like "where the hell is my stuff, mom?". The one bad thing about wood floor is there's all this wood for 40 little doggy toenails to clack around on. It is funny to see them try and run on the wood; one of them usually blows a wheel and ends up skittering across the floor on her side.
Some of the construction dust has gotten into the door on the dishwasher; now it squeaks horribly when you open it. Sweety was trying to get to the source of the squeak last night and Tiny dog kept stealing his napkins that were soaked in oil. She grabs one and goes under the couch with it and when Sweety flips the couch on it's side to confront her he smashes his toe. Blood everywhere. Tiny dog had the sense to disappear for awhile. And I managed to choke back any inappropriate laughter til I was out of Sweety's sight.
Later he played with her so I guess he had no hard feelings.
How could you stay mad to such an innocent little animal? She doesn't look like an eater of walls, does she? She found another spot on the wall to munch on so I maced her with some of the bitter stuff to keep her away from it and then put some on the wall. I guess I really am going to have to go around and put the stuff everywhere and let her see me doing it.Agh. I've put it off long enough. I must go fold the laundry.
9/5/05
Thank You to the Driving Gods
About half way home tonight it started to rain; I hate driving in the rain. Especially in the dark, on the interstate and with other people on the road. There are 3 lanes and I was scooting along in the middle one when I noticed the cars ahead in the right lane were moving over in front of me. I'm wondering why they did this when something catches my eye in the passenger window. It is the guy on a motorcycle that the cars were going around. I realize if I'd have been in that lane that I would've probably smacked into him. I wonder if he felt a goose walk over his grave tonight.
If I'd have known it was going to rain I'd have taken an alternate route home. After I turned onto our highway I figured the worst part of the driving experience was over so I started to relax and ungrit my teeth a little. But sneaking up on a small pond that had formed in the highway and caused my car to weeble a little bit freaked me right back out. My butt is so clenched that I don't think I will poop for a month. I loathe driving in the rain. I had a wreck in the rain some years ago and have had a problem with it ever since.
I better go rouse the canines so they'll be calmed down enough to go back to sleep when I'm ready to go to bed.
If I'd have known it was going to rain I'd have taken an alternate route home. After I turned onto our highway I figured the worst part of the driving experience was over so I started to relax and ungrit my teeth a little. But sneaking up on a small pond that had formed in the highway and caused my car to weeble a little bit freaked me right back out. My butt is so clenched that I don't think I will poop for a month. I loathe driving in the rain. I had a wreck in the rain some years ago and have had a problem with it ever since.
I better go rouse the canines so they'll be calmed down enough to go back to sleep when I'm ready to go to bed.
9/3/05
This Book Kicks Ass
gods in Alabama
I just got it this afternoon and I've already finished it. The author is Joshilyn Jackson and she has a neato blog (Faster Than Kudzu) too. I'd been reading the blog for awhile and I was afraid to read the book because what if I didn't like it? And since I enjoy her blog so much I didn't want a bad book review to maybe taint that. This is kind of the same reasoning behind my reluctance to ever do any business with someone that I know personally.
But my fears were completely unfounded. It was good from start to finish and the ending was something else.
If anyone out there would like the book, and you trust me with your address, send me an email I'll mail you mine to keep. Think of it as an early Christmas present.
I just got it this afternoon and I've already finished it. The author is Joshilyn Jackson and she has a neato blog (Faster Than Kudzu) too. I'd been reading the blog for awhile and I was afraid to read the book because what if I didn't like it? And since I enjoy her blog so much I didn't want a bad book review to maybe taint that. This is kind of the same reasoning behind my reluctance to ever do any business with someone that I know personally.
But my fears were completely unfounded. It was good from start to finish and the ending was something else.
If anyone out there would like the book, and you trust me with your address, send me an email I'll mail you mine to keep. Think of it as an early Christmas present.
Grit In My Teeth
Last night Sweety got all of the kitchen tile up and he's putting the wood floor in now. There is ceramic dust EVERYWHERE. The dogs are blinking slower than normal because the dust combined with their eyesnot makes a cement-like substance. Just hearing him scrape up the tile made me want to pee myself and break my teeth off at the same time. I am so glad that part of the renovation is done.
Now I've got to figure out how to decorate the kitchen. My home decorating skills are well below average. I just need to go somewhere and find some stuff that I like and then buy everything at once that matches. I was thinking daisies and ladybugs but Sweety has vetoes ladybugs. Apparently EW got a tattoo of a ladybug while they were married because her boyfriend liked them. Thanks for ruining that for me, bitch.
I think I have pre-narcolepsy. I'm not dropping down asleep yet but I've been so stinking tired the last few days that I can hardly hold my eyes open. I'd like to go take a nap but I think I should at least try and stay conscious to lend Sweety moral support while he works. My lids grow heavy though.
I think I'll go have some caffeine and follow him around the house.
Now I've got to figure out how to decorate the kitchen. My home decorating skills are well below average. I just need to go somewhere and find some stuff that I like and then buy everything at once that matches. I was thinking daisies and ladybugs but Sweety has vetoes ladybugs. Apparently EW got a tattoo of a ladybug while they were married because her boyfriend liked them. Thanks for ruining that for me, bitch.
I think I have pre-narcolepsy. I'm not dropping down asleep yet but I've been so stinking tired the last few days that I can hardly hold my eyes open. I'd like to go take a nap but I think I should at least try and stay conscious to lend Sweety moral support while he works. My lids grow heavy though.
I think I'll go have some caffeine and follow him around the house.
9/2/05
It's Friday Night and All Is Well
I just love my doctor. I went in for a checkup today to see how the blood pressure meds were working and it was noted that I've gained 2 pounds in the last 2 weeks. He was reading my chart and calling these numbers out loud. The numbers were my weights for about the past year. When he was done he looked at me and said, "Hmm. You're just getting fatter and fatter, eh?" My reply was "Obviously." I'm going to start my new health regimen by not going to another fast food restaurant til the end of October. Ignoring the sweet siren song of salty french fries will be hard but I know it is necessary. I wonder if I ate enough fries to make me sick, would that turn me off of them?
While I was there my doctor was kind enough to give me a note excusing me from work tonight. I'm just going to slog around the house. I feel way tired for some reason. I do need to wash the pooches though. They seem to be a bit stale.
Right now Stinky is rubbing her nose all over me. Someday, just once, I'm gonna put some Silly Putty in that thing. Her nose is big enough that I bet I could put a whole eggs worth of putty inside. I don't think she'd care as long as I was petting her belly while I did it.
Sweety was okay with my being home since I have a doctor's note. Goody! It's nicer to be at home if he's not all freaked out about it. Maybe I can talk him into doing body shots with the remaining tequila.
While I was there my doctor was kind enough to give me a note excusing me from work tonight. I'm just going to slog around the house. I feel way tired for some reason. I do need to wash the pooches though. They seem to be a bit stale.
Right now Stinky is rubbing her nose all over me. Someday, just once, I'm gonna put some Silly Putty in that thing. Her nose is big enough that I bet I could put a whole eggs worth of putty inside. I don't think she'd care as long as I was petting her belly while I did it.
Sweety was okay with my being home since I have a doctor's note. Goody! It's nicer to be at home if he's not all freaked out about it. Maybe I can talk him into doing body shots with the remaining tequila.
Things I Found Interesting
This post at My Eggs Are Cooked. She's a supporter of the President and isn't afraid to say it. I'm not a die-hard Republican but it makes me uncomfortable when people bash the President (I think it's due to how my Mom told me to always be nice to men because they can't handle it if you're mean.) It was nice to read a post where the author wasn't blaming all bad things in life on the U.S. government. And she made a good point with 'where else in the world does the government pay you in you're in a natural disaster?'
I'm just really kind of peeved with the situation after the hurricane. There are people freaking shooting at rescue helicopters and each other - wtf? I'm sorry but if I was trying to help some people and started getting shot at I would pack up and take my toys home. A few bad apples will spoil the whole barrel.
And I found this little nugget over at HDL's. This chick actually uses her nether parts to paint pictures. For some reason, this struck me as very odd. But I felt compelled to look at all of the paintings anyway.
I'm just really kind of peeved with the situation after the hurricane. There are people freaking shooting at rescue helicopters and each other - wtf? I'm sorry but if I was trying to help some people and started getting shot at I would pack up and take my toys home. A few bad apples will spoil the whole barrel.
And I found this little nugget over at HDL's. This chick actually uses her nether parts to paint pictures. For some reason, this struck me as very odd. But I felt compelled to look at all of the paintings anyway.
Stuff Portrait Friday
Favorite alcoholic drink:
Ivanabitch vodka and Patron Silver tequila. Notice how one of the shot glasses is short? The first night we had them Sweety broke mine but when it broke it just cracked all around the edge. I was pissed because it took me 10 minutes to decide which glass (out of a box of 6) was going to be mine and then he went and cracked it. He took the glass into the garage and used sandpaper to smooth the edge so I could still use it. I've gotta give him a hand for thinking so quickly and fixing it though.
What I eat off of:
My new dishes and my popcorn bowl. I love to fill it up with salty popcorn and read a book. That's Pete5 or Pete6 in the fishbowl. Every fish I've ever had has been named Pete. Just seems like a good name.
The trunk of my car:
The sheet pretty much stays back there. I put Tasha on it if I'm taking her somewhere. It's still out from her trip to the dentist. The niece left the pink cowboy hat. I need to mail it to her but I like looking back there and seeing it.
And as a bonus here is the front seat!
It is fairly clean.
Ivanabitch vodka and Patron Silver tequila. Notice how one of the shot glasses is short? The first night we had them Sweety broke mine but when it broke it just cracked all around the edge. I was pissed because it took me 10 minutes to decide which glass (out of a box of 6) was going to be mine and then he went and cracked it. He took the glass into the garage and used sandpaper to smooth the edge so I could still use it. I've gotta give him a hand for thinking so quickly and fixing it though.
What I eat off of:
My new dishes and my popcorn bowl. I love to fill it up with salty popcorn and read a book. That's Pete5 or Pete6 in the fishbowl. Every fish I've ever had has been named Pete. Just seems like a good name.
The trunk of my car:
The sheet pretty much stays back there. I put Tasha on it if I'm taking her somewhere. It's still out from her trip to the dentist. The niece left the pink cowboy hat. I need to mail it to her but I like looking back there and seeing it.
And as a bonus here is the front seat!
It is fairly clean.
9/1/05
*yawn*
What do these things have in common?
A pencil
A half eaten crayon
Half a piece of garlic buttered toast
A piece of concrete
All are things that I've picked out of Tiny dog's lair this morning. Well, I didn't get the toast out before she sucked it down but she did drag it under the couch. I got up for 30 seconds and she hopped on my chair and then on top of my desk to snatch my breakfast. I'd just fed her. Greedy little rat.
Had a talk with Sweety last night and it has been ascertained that I can never smoke. Not even little vanilla cigars or pipes. Not even if he never knows. Because if he found out he'd probably smother me. Sweety grew up in a house where his parents smoked like 6 packs of cigarettes a day. He remembers eating donuts that smelled like smoke. He said he'd rather I cheat on him than take up smoking. I can't return that sentiment.
You know you love someone when you can look at their drool smear while you're doing laundry and it makes you think of how cute they are when they're asleep. I only noticed Sweety's drool mark because it was stained pink from the rolaids he eats before going to sleep. And I immediately thought "Aw. How cute. Wish he were here." Sometimes I am so nice it makes me want to puke.
I think I'm gonna go snug up in my wonderful bed.
A pencil
A half eaten crayon
Half a piece of garlic buttered toast
A piece of concrete
All are things that I've picked out of Tiny dog's lair this morning. Well, I didn't get the toast out before she sucked it down but she did drag it under the couch. I got up for 30 seconds and she hopped on my chair and then on top of my desk to snatch my breakfast. I'd just fed her. Greedy little rat.
Had a talk with Sweety last night and it has been ascertained that I can never smoke. Not even little vanilla cigars or pipes. Not even if he never knows. Because if he found out he'd probably smother me. Sweety grew up in a house where his parents smoked like 6 packs of cigarettes a day. He remembers eating donuts that smelled like smoke. He said he'd rather I cheat on him than take up smoking. I can't return that sentiment.
You know you love someone when you can look at their drool smear while you're doing laundry and it makes you think of how cute they are when they're asleep. I only noticed Sweety's drool mark because it was stained pink from the rolaids he eats before going to sleep. And I immediately thought "Aw. How cute. Wish he were here." Sometimes I am so nice it makes me want to puke.
I think I'm gonna go snug up in my wonderful bed.
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